CommonApp Extra-Curricular short essay

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
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<p>Anyone mind giving me some feedback? I'm sending my application today but I'd like someone to review my short essay. Also, it's over 1000 characters (almost 1200), so it's be a big help if I got some feedback as to where to make cuts. I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!!</p>

<p>"I can still hear the thud of my back hitting the ground. The sight of metal clad hooves hovering above me as my horses hoof struck the ground right near my head. The feeling of being completely useless as my horse dragged me for what seemed like time without end. My mind had yet to register what had happened, it wasn't until being surrounded by familiar faces that I realized how embarrassed I was. Humiliation dominated pain as I promised myself I would never ride again. Before being able to disappear into the family van and drown in my misery, a young volunteer had approached me. And although I can't remember his name, I do remember his words. "Just remember, you haven't really ridden until you've fallen off". I finally understood what he meant. Falling off your horse is a disgrace but like so it's also an achievement. In the horseback community falling means you've failed, however having the strength inside yourself to get back in the saddle even if you risk falling off again, is an achievement. Riders learn from the falls they've experienced rather than the pain they've felt. Failure teaches success the same way falling teaches riders how to admit a mistake. It teaches riders how to fix mistakes and how to persevere."</p>

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<p>Hey, could you let me know of your thoughts on this?</p>

<pre><code> Lessons Learnt on the Court
It was ten years ago when I first set foot on a Tennis court. I was just a little boy, excited to finally play the sport I had grown up watching, and completely unaware of the significance of this first step.
I grew stronger, more mature and much more eager to win. I learnt something from every game. I realized very early on that Tennis, the sport itself, is a paradox of sorts. It looks like a flurry of graceful forehands, volleys and impeccable footwork-a pure Gentleman’s sport. However, the player sees every match as a battle-an intense test of his physical and mental make-up. He knows that he is his own team and that he must take full credit for both, his victories and for his losses.
I realized the importance of self-belief, determination and the drive to succeed. Above all, I learnt me that while there will always be people on my side, my success and future is what I choose to make of it.
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