Common App Transfer essay help for Non-Traditional Student

Applying to College
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Hoping to get some advice and guidance here: I’m a 32 year old pre-nursing student attending a local community college. I’m ready to transfer to pursue a BSN because my area is over saturated with nursing schools so naturally I need a BSN from a great program to ensure I can find a job as a new grad. I do not have a previous degree, but I have about 87 credits.

I purchased Alan Gelb’s, Conquering The College Admissions Essays In 10 Steps book and immediately wrote 649 words afterwards. Then I second guessed it all because I felt that his book’s suggestion to write a narrative may not apply to the Common App Transfer essay topic (Why transfer and what are your objectives.)

I guess I need feedback on my topic, direction and what do transfer admissions usually look for?

I began my essay in the middle of conflict like he advised and was brave with the topic as he suggested; I was laid off from a data company a year and a half ago and then decided to pursue my Nursing degree full time. My essay takes you through that journey to present day but I didn’t really go into a lot of detail comparing and contrasting my current school and future transfer school…should I? It’s difficult with a 650 max to explain my journey and get detailed about the programs. Should I cut back the narrative and put more detail comparing facts about the schools?

Or should I change direction completely, not mention the layoff and just strictly talk about reasons for transferring and specific goals? I also wondered if I should explain my gap in education instead. Any help is appreciated! Thanks!

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Just want to add I’m open to suggestions. Thanks all!

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Bump

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That’s interesting. I wrote one of my UC statements in narrative form mid crisis. Had no idea there was an author suggesting to do the same. Maybe I should write a book :wink:

To answer your question: it’s entirely up to you. If you can maintain a clear and concise voice through out and answer the question efficiently in a narrative do it! It’s much more effective because the reader can easily put themselves in your shoes. However, if it doesn’t fit with the prompt–don’t do it.

If you’d like, I’d be more than happy to look at your essay. Full disclosure, I’m transferring this semester too, but already wrote my essay and have no interest in plagiarizing.

Regardless, good luck and let me know if you have any other questions!

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@TeamAmerica If you could read it that would be great! Maybe you can tell me if you feel like it fits with the prompt. I will PM you. Thanks!