<p>I am looking to apply to several top-tier liberal arts colleges and a few ivies. If you could read my common application essays and give me some feedback, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
Indicate a person who has had significant influence on you, and describe that influence. </p>
<pre><code> The planks of wood were quickly approaching. Within seconds we had reached them, and the wooden jump that we were supposed to be soaring over had become entangled around Ice Mans legs. I quickly glanced downwards and noticed that my path to the ground, and safety, was now blocked by the wooden structure that had once served as a jump. Knowing that horses are prey rather than predators, I prepared for the worst. Ice Man would think it was a mountain lion or some equally ferocious creature and spiral into a panic, legs thrashing and head tilted upwards. If I was lucky, I might walk away from this predicament with several bruises. If not, I might not walk away at all. But then it came. One swift kick of Ice Mans front legs that effectively cast the jump aside. One swift kick of Ice Mans front legs that effectively prevented both of us from being harmed.
Though our partnership allowed us to come through this incident, Ice Man and I were not always a cohesive pair. Contrarily, our first several months together were filled with conflict. Unfortunately, Ice Man was a horse who was fully aware that he weighed almost half a ton and chose to benefit from this awareness. As a result, he was rarely cooperative. If I asked him to accept a connection during a dressage lesson he would he immediately raise his head. If I asked him to increase his speed when we were approaching a jump, he would proceed to hold back and use a minimal amount of energy. While my sisters consistently won ribbons and advanced levels, Ice Man and I were engaged in a seemingly endless battle.
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<p>It was not until I had owned Ice Man for over two years and spent countless lessons working with him that our battle came to a conclusion. There was no clear victor, but rather, a draw. Instead of being engaged in a constant struggle, we learned to work in unison. I would ask Ice Man to preform a movement, and when he did, he was immediately rewarded. If there was a miscommunication between us, rather then attempting to force him to cooperate, I would work to make my instructions clearer. I began to spend more time at the barn, staying after my lessons to groom him, graze him, and develop the bond that is essential to horse and rider. Within the course of a few months, we had attained the partnership that would prove vital later in our career together.</p>
<p>Because he was strong-willed and uncooperative, Ice Man impacted me more than any of the other horses I have ever ridden. While horses and riders may not always agree, neither do people. The world is comprised of numerous conflicts, and Ice Man taught me how to face them. Persistence is required to resolve conflicts and patience is required to recognize that you yourself may be the problem. Due to my experiences as a rider, I now am able to look at conflicts and issues objectively, realizing that a solution can only be reached gradually and patiently. Without these tools, partnerships with horses cannot develop and neither can collaborations with people. </p>
<p>It is a common belief amongst riders that each of us has a horse of a lifetime, a horse that will always stand apart from the rest. Ice Man was mine. </p>
<p>Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. </p>
<p>The doors clicked behind me as I walked into jail. Though officially I had just passed through the entrance to Blessed Trinity Catholic High School during my sophomore year, the act of entering into the building felt disciplinary rather than voluntary. Keeping my glance downcast and my movements unobtrusive, I meandered down the hallway which contained my automaton-like peers, and I attempted to minimize the possibility of being noticed for any reason. As I proceeded to my first class of the day,I consciously checked my thoughts to ascertain that my mind conformed to the strict religious principles and conservative political views of the school. As prayers bounced off the stark concrete walls, the crisp cotton of uniforms crinkled, and Sperrys squeaked across the polished linoleum,I attempted to ignore the reality of my situation. In a school that openly proclaimed that it desired a student body comprised entirely of Catholics and taught hatred for liberal political figures along with its curriculum, I was a Methodist and the daughter of parents who had voted for President Obama, an outcast in a sea of sameness.</p>
<pre><code>However, while my character and values were consistently denounced, my academic abilities were consistently recognized. With every lesson that challenged my beliefs came an accolade to praise my achievements. Being a self-proclaimed overachiever and a devoted student, I began to crave this form of validation. Yes, I was simultaneously being told that I was destined to go to Hell if I failed to convert to Catholicism and that contrary to what I believed, there was no way to accept and consider varying views, but I was also becoming a distinguished member of the academic community. It was because of this affirmation that I remained at Blessed Trinity Catholic High School for nearly two years.
By the end of the first semester of my Sophomore year, I began to contemplate whether academic singularity outweighed loss of self. It did not. While I had distinguished myself as a student, I had not distinguished myself as a person. The conformity required by Blessed Trinity prevented me from working to further my values and ideals, the same values and ideals that caused me to decide to attend The Galloway School instead.
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<p>At The Galloway School, I was able to pursue school purely for learning rather than for acknowledgement. Instead of taking numerous quizzes based on memorization, I worked with other students in analyzing issues that had faced and were facing the world. When I entered into my World History class on the first day of school, the students were engaged in a comparison of world religions. Groups were busy discussing the beliefs and practices of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism. The differences that characterized the world were looked at as contributing to a stronger global community rather than weakening the whole, as they were at Blessed Trinity. </p>
<p>This same concept translated to the school itself. Though taking classes based upon group discussions could often result in a clashing of ideas, all of which were valid, it more often resulted in a successful collaboration. The students at The Galloway School, which now included me, were accepted as individuals. As a result of this acceptance I soon began harnessing traits that had once lain dormant, serving as a leader in the community through positions such as editor of the school paper and working to join the community by becoming involved in activities such as the tennis and academic teams. Rather than working to mask my true values, I was able to use my views to benefit others and the views of others to enlighten myself. Participating in a global and academic community strengthened by differences far outweighs several paper certificates.</p>