CommonApp Prompt 4 HELP

College Essays
1

<p>Hi! I'm very new to College Confidential and I need any help I can get.</p>

<p>So I am going into my senior year, and have been thinking about what to write for my commonapp essay. Please be honest, and tell me if it's a bad idea. And if you have any suggestions on how i can make interesting or improve on it, please do share them with me since that would be great. :)</p>

<p>For the prompt, "Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?"</p>

<p>I want to talk about how I feel my school bus is a place where i feel completely content. Once back from a tiring day at school, its the school bus where im able to relax my mind, take a short nap before i reach home and get started on all the work i have to do, etc.</p>

<p>Does this sound like it would be bad? If it need to be done well, what do you think i could add and any suggestions/feedback would be of GREAT help.</p>

<p>Thanks,
collegehelp08</p>

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<p>bump</p>

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<p>Please…someone? anyone out there? Help? (BUMP)</p>

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<p>It sounds fine. It’s a generic topic, which is why a lot of people won’t attepmt that. So that may work in your favor. Just make sure to flush it out and make it interesting </p>

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<p>Any topic can be written well, but I’m guessing this one has pitfalls you don’t see yet, and will not be a winner. You may prove me wrong, but I’m guessing it’s a no. This is one of the more problematic prompts, IMHO. Feel free to send me an outline, and I’ll be happy to give you more specific feedback on potential issues.</p>

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<p>If you do that prompt, you have to make it as interesting and about you as possible. Like all the other essays, you should try and connect it to yourself because the essay readers want to know the student they are admitting.</p>

<p>“Once back from a tiring day at school, its the school bus where I’m able to relax my mind, take a short nap before i reach home and get started on all the work i have to do, etc.”</p>

<p>I feel the same way as the statement you mentioned above, but I don’t know if I could write an whole essay about that and I would feel the need to spice it up as well. It could work, but it needs to grab your reader’s attention</p>

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<p>You need to consider what your essay says about you. To me, this one says “I like to take breaks from my school work.” You can possibly make it work, but the topic doesn’t strike me as interesting.</p>

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<p>@Sakacar3‌ is it okay if i send you an Outline? I’m kinda lost and your feedback would be of great help…</p>

<p>Thanks,
collegehelp08</p>

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<p>Sure - no problem.</p>

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<p>General recommendation - be sure the essay focuses on some aspect of you (personal attribute, passion, experience) that does not come through anywhere else in the application. So if you have a stellar academic record, don’t write about being hard-working and goal oriented. If your ECs are all sports, find something other than how much you love sports. But perhaps there was an experience you had through sports that shows some part of your personality you want to highlight that is not typically associated with athletes? </p>

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<p>Based upon some of the suggestions of others more in-the-know, writing about being on a school bus seems a bit passive. See: <a href=“Pitfalls or Traps in the new Common Application essay - College Essays - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/1526461-pitfalls-or-traps-in-the-new-common-application-essay.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Thanks a lot @gibby
this helps a lot</p>