<p>Hi,
I was just thinking, to all you high achievers out there : don't you feel very pressured to succeed at times, whether it be from your parents or peers? Does it interfere with your friendships?
I don't know about you, but personally, my school is very competitive. Everybody expects 2400s on their SATs, many kids juggle sports with multiple clubs and volunteer work.
There are about forty people in my class of ~600 who are all vying to become the valedictorian, and everybody seems to secretly "hate" each other.
Nobody is "straight-forward" with their accomplishments, and my classmates seem reluctant to help one another for fear that somebody might "beat" them in a certain area. My classmate has summed it up: "I don't love you right now, but I promise that after we get into good colleges, I'll be a real friend."
Constant comparison is a given-- I've even had parents call my parents up just to compare report card grades last year.
It is a tense environment in high school-- there have been many articles published on this matter, claiming that this kind of pressure leads to "self-destructive behaviors" (i.e. cutting, eating disorders). Do you agree? How has this affected you?</p>
<p>It's all anonymous here, so feel free to rant. :-)</p>
<p>i know that our class of 2006 often refused to share which colleges they were going to apply to because they thought people would sabotage their chances somehow. this year, that kind of stuff has not really happened much though.</p>
<p>I wish I had more competition to push me at my school. This explains why I am applying to all these tough school rather than slacking and going to a state school.</p>
<p>I have to admit I am one of those people that prefer not to help others if I feel that they will "beat me". I personally like competition because for some reason it motivates me to do well.</p>
<p>yeah, I know what you mean... haha.. asian-ness all the way. it's super-competitive at my school... everybody goes to princeton review courses, everyone is taking 23947249827 APs and honors classes, everybody calculates their GPA to the nearest thousandths place.</p>
<p>yeah, i think competition really pushes me to do my best, without it, i might not challenge myself as much as i'm doing now. And i actually like pushing myself. It's really amazing what u can accomplish if u have equally motivated people around you. in my school, there's only about 5 of us that are really the super motivated type, AND we're all best friends. :)</p>
<p>I go to an insanely competitive public school, one of the best in the state and country. We send 20+/400 a year to ivies not including other top schools a la UMich, Wisc, UCB, JHU, UChi, etc. There is in a sense alot of pressure to go to an elite school. It really doesnt affect me very much. All that matters is I go to a school that I like and want to go to, not how others see it.</p>
<p>Well there are a couple people at my school that are hesitant to tell about what they're doing for college, where they're applying, etc. They're my friends too.. but it's not that big of a deal.</p>
<p>This only happens at my school around the top 15 students. They are all trying out for top spots in organizations just to beef up their resume, while others who actually are serious about those positions don't get them. They all hate the current number one student in the ranking. I think I am somewhere in the top 10. This explains why I suddenly have a bunch of silent enemies.. people who I have never talked to before. What is bad in my school is that they try to be your friend to get you to "help them" on stuff, meaning they want to copy.</p>
<p>Sigh, I am not liking this kind of competition. It isn't healthy and it is just inspiring unneeded hatred.</p>
<p>yes. my school sends ~45 to ivies each year, and it's insane. I know what you mean by how people try to be your friend in order to copy... it sucks. I used to have about ten kids who wanted to be my partner for science projects and stuff, just because I seemed to have a reputation for getting good grades or whatever. Luckily my school doesn't rank, only for valedictorian and for salutorian.
someone's MySpace said:
"School is a game: Outplay, outwit, outlast."</p>
<p>My small public school has a senior class of 55 students. Perhaps the top three of us have a viable chance at getting into a 'good' college. For the past three years, we've all helped each other out, simply because nobody in our school knows how to go about sending kids to elite unis. I think a major factor was that none of us were planning to apply to the same elite colleges - we all ultimately want different things out of the next four years. We have very different strengths (one is a English/PoliSci person, another a recruited Division I volleyball player/decent student, and I'm the math/science person). Together, we make up half the AP Chem class, and the volleyball player only half jokingly said the other day 'If the demonstration blows up, the front row will die and I'll be Valedictorian.' We all laughed it off, but tensions are definitely increasing as deadlines near. Hopefully we can make it until January without killing anyone.</p>
<p>I really think it is a major factor. The need to be the best and go to a top college rises every year. I am currently in a varisty sport, in almost every club, make straight A's, have a job, am in AP classes and am always expected to be the best at everything. Last year I almost formed an eating disorder because wanting to be perfect at everything got to be too much.. it really is hard, and not to sound cold, but that's life I suppose. In this day and time everyone is being pinned up against each other to outlast the competition. I tend to never have any problem helping out fellow classmates, because I enjoy that sort of thing a lot, but it is always in the back of my mind when someone mentions applying to my dream school for them not to. I don't want any further competition, and I'll immediatly start thinking about their schedule, scores, rank etc in comparison to mine. Last year I felt the need to be so far above everyone else that A's weren't good enough, I wouldn't let my grade get below a 99 in any class, even with aps, and only made a 97 all year as my lowest. Actually, the obsession continued this year, and thats still been my lowest grade with all AP classes... it's a bit scary if you think about it. What I'm worried about, for me and everyone else, is to get rejected from a school we care so much about when we've dedicated all of our time and efforts into pleasing them. It's defintely tough.</p>
<p>On another note, the competition definitely pushes us to excel to another level... something to think about I suppose.</p>
<p>At my public high school (~350 kids in a well-off area with outstanding academics), the fact that other people are very successful is motivating to me, and there's not much competition. Sure, we don't talk about our essay topics with our friends, but it's not like we hide stuff from each other, especially since almost all the top candidates have been in the same (accelerated) math class since middle school, so we're all pretty good friends.</p>
<p>My motto: rape everyone at everything he/she does. I go to a VERY FRICKING competitive HS where probably 95% of my fellow "mates" have a 3.5+ GPA. No one will take my valedictorian spot. Guaranteed.</p>
<p>Wow, I thought I had a typical high school experience, but apparently not. </p>
<p>I was valedictorian, but I wasn't particularly competitive. In my high school, roughly 50% of the class goes onto college, and maybe one person a year goes to an ivy and about 10 to top 50 Universities. By sophomore year, when kids started taking AP courses, my class was sort of divided into those who would go to college and those who would not. I love my little AP class group. We worked on everything together, peer reviewed essays, group projects, etc. It was awesome. </p>
<p>I can't believe some kids don't even help each other out! </p>
<p>I am someone who has struggled with perfectionism, cutting, and eating disorders, but I don't necessarily think that this was caused by my high school competition.</p>
<p>The top 10 or 15 percent of my school is ridiculously competitive. Last year there was a girl from Korea who had been going to school with us since sixth grade or so and because of the expiration of her green card or visa or something (sorry, I'll admit I know absolutely nothing about that) she was faced with the option of attending a boarding school or moving back to Korea with her parents. It was tough for her but she ended up getting into Hotchkiss, and while everybody pretended to be sad to see her go, everyone was actually excited because it meant we would all move up a place in class rank (she was number 3). Isn't that awful?</p>
<p>People compete so much to be officers in every little ridiculous club and then don't do anything with the title. For example, a friend of mine is the treasurer of the National Hispanic Young Leaders League or something important-sounding like that and he has NEVER been to a meeting (they've never even HAD a meeting) and never done any work for it. However, he is putting that he spends 3/4 hours a week on it on his ED application to an Ivy League school. I know that adcoms could maybe MAYBE check that, but it's unlikely. So basically he's going to get away with it.</p>
<p>I am in IB Diploma (about 24 out of 500 kids) and the little group of us are all friends and simultaneously all each other's toughest competition. In my TOK class, it's a constant blur of stress and tension because so-and-so just found out that their best friend would be applying to Penn ("and that's...MY school!") or that so-and-so got a 97 in the IB English class taught by one teacher while so-and-so only got a 92 in the IB English class taught by the other teacher ("and that's so not fair at all").</p>
<p>It's an incredibly stressful environment. I think more prevalent than things like cutting and eating disorders though is stress-induced illness. Nobody sleeps more than 4 or 5 hours a night because we're up so late writing college essays, working on applications, studying for SATs, doing homework, and this is AFTER coming home from all of our ECs. Everybody is always sick with bronchitis or a cold or suffering from horrible allergies or something and I can't help but think that if we all just chilled out a little bit that stuff wouldn't be so bad.</p>
<p>All of the competition will drastically cease next semester though, I think. Once acceptances come rolling in everybody will be best friends again...I can't wait.</p>