Completely Frustrated with 4 Years of Hard Work and No Results

What’s wrong with you? Why should I blame my daughter? What is the case for that? I do blame myself, for sure. We relied too much on academic guidance counselors. Big mistake. We are trying to move on, though.

Would like to know why you think this list is odd. She developed it working with an academic guidance counselor.

UIUC admits by major. Did she choose to apply as an engineering major? Which one?

Also, for engineering, check out the Pathways program: http://pathways.engineering.illinois.edu/

Need to maintain a certain GPA and she should apply to get in to the program first before taking any CC classes.

Several people have detailed why the list is odd. It’s four schools long, half made up of high reaches, and none of the schools on it are apparently affordable.

Also, you can respond to specific posts by tagging the poster with @ or by noting the post number in your reply.

@lostparent: if you can afford UI, what was the reason it didn’t work out? What was the reason your D was not admitted? UIUC is a large school. I’m speculating here, but might there be a chance it can still work out with the help of your D’s college counselor and your submission of certain additional app material to strengthen her application so she can still enroll there this fall?

Could you name some of these options? She is effectively taking a gap year (I’m hoping that’s all it turns out to be anyway) now. Her state of residence is Illinois. Not sure if she’d be interested, when the time comes, in reapplying to the University of Illinois. They are pretty unpleasant to deal with. Anyway, she is 18 now and the decision will be hers.

A list of 4 schools is 25 years ago, unless the student is lucky enough to be accepted to a school in the Early Round that is affordable and is enough of a favorite to enroll. IOW, if the student gets one realistic acceptance and therefore abandons other – or very many other – efforts.

^ Because those seeking FA usually cast a very wide net. Also, she didn’t have an academic safety which was also a financial safety. Did you run the NPC’s on her list of schools before she applied? Did you meet with her GC before the application process started?

My S went to a private day school and that list would never have been allowed.

Sorry, but imo, her GC did a terrible job if they gave the ok to her list.

Yeah, pretty bad isn’t it? This pretty much defines being treated like a nobody.

Thanks. Getting it under 20K will get us as parents back into the discussion (U of Denver wanted more than 2x that amount!). Will keep all of this in mind when she’s ready to move on this.

It’s a moot point, since she didn’t get in. But that is a tuition level we probably could have managed.

Well, just ask your daughter’s college counselor email and pick up the phone and get in touch with the AO in charge of the school’s georgraphic area and indicate strong interest of enrolling on your behalf, reinterste how strong a student your daughter is and ask if there is anything they need to help make a positive decision, eg an additional recommendation letter, a letter from student, activities she’s been involved since application was submitted etc.

@lostParent

There are lists on here of colleges still taking apps IF that interests your D for the fall.

There are also lists of merit aid schools if she takes a gap year, studies to bring up the ACT.

Did D have “portal” on The IL admissions site? Posters were wondering if she did not realize she would be contacted only through that, and perhaps her app was incomplete and she did not realize without logging in? A rejection would come through the portal too?

She has options, but depends on where she is right now mentally. If she is burnt out on it, maybe the year will help. If not, the might be fixable by falll…folks on here know a lot about great schools still opem, financial aid “tricks” that normal people don’t know, and how to fix a bad situation.

how disappointing for her.i hope it gets fixed so she sees it was just bad advice is all!

I understand that you are upset, but I don’t think you are helping your daughter with that attitude. Don’t blame the system, just try to understand the system and do it better next time.

Your daughter could still try to get into another college, she could start taking classes at a community college or just take a gap year and try again next year, but with a more balanced list of schools.

The first thing we do if we find an interesting school is to run the Net price calculator - if it is unaffordable for us, my daughter won’t even bother applying.

You are correct there should be no expectation of any reward from hard work. I’d go further and say that academic “success” is meaningless as well. The only thing that seems to matter in the academic world is pedigree and credentials - and the number of significant digits in your parents’ bank account. But whatever we as individuals do to overcome our lack of pedigrees and credentials, the loss is to society and economic productivity when our contributions aren’t sought or valued. There’s a problem here for sure, but it’s not with my daughter. She’s turning out to be amazingly resilient and I’m confident she will get out of this slump. But this kind of experience, repeated is very damaging over time to society as a whole.

Post 128:
I happen to think that the greatest failure of the GC was in not informing the parent that unless a student is completely independent and so capable and knowledgeable that no adult guidance is needed, virtually every parent needs to be somewhat involved in college admissions today. Even if parents do not provide input into the application, having a discussion about options, lists, costs, geography, practicalities, etc. is essential unless the student is both psychologically and legally emancipated.

@lostParent, the sticker price for UIUC is $30-$35k, depending on the major; I don’t know that there’s a way to get that to $20k or under. If you need it to be $20k or less, there will be lots of options, but maybe not this one.

http://www.osfa.illinois.edu/cost/undergrad/res_1415.html

Noted. I will suggest she consider McGill.

Just getting back to the original post, she is not disadvantaged on a 4-point scale. Each hs sends a school profile sheet along with each transcript, so the colleges will understand how strong of a student she is. Call her GC, and ask them to fax a copy of it to you so you know exactly what the colleges are looking at.

You are upset, understandably, but you say your daughter is working, and resilient. How does she propose that you move forward on this. Has she had the chance to visit any campuses yet? Is the boarding school close enough that she can work closely with the GC as she goes through the process again, but with an expanded list?

The common app opens Aug 1, and she needs to get materials in quickly many places to be considered for merit scholarships, which is what you need due to the increase in your income. She should plan to apply to at least 10 colleges IMO to have a choice between good aid prospects, she should visit each (2 visits for those she feels are great fits), interview, and invest a lot of time in each essay. She is already running short on time IMO, so a plan needs to be put into place quickly. If she is okay with small, she might get some great merit aid at Earlham.

Edit to add that I respectfully disagree somewhat with your posts numbered 134 and 139. Many unhooked females do very well in the college applications process. But they understand the challenges, they put in a lot of time and effort, and they interview. They meet the merit scholarship deadlines. They go to places like DePauw, OWU, Miami of Ohio, Purdue, etc and they have great careers after graduation. When you reduce the process to so-called pedigree and bank balance, you are being simplistic and are not helping your D.

I think that one thing that cost her is that she is kind of shy. She made up for it somewhat with her writing ability, but schools just aren’t as interested in students that have issues like that. That’s life. If she had been a speech and debate champion (like her mom) or a star track athlete (like her dad) in high school, it certainly would have helped a lot. She is what I’ve heard referred to as an “unhooked” Caucasian female applicant from the point of view of an admissions office. A’s don’t get you very far, they want to see some trophies in your case, too.