As much time as I spend online, you would think that I wouldn’t need the advice, “um, try Google.”
I literally gave that exact advice to my wife last night. She was trying to find a replacement for a product she used to buy but couldn’t get anymore. In about 30 seconds I had 6 items come up for sale, along with numerous search hits from companies touting their product on her computer.
In my defense, it is something that I think SHOULD be on the website and easy to find, because I can’t be the only parent who thinks it’s a valuable data point.
I love Millbrook’s approach to discipline. At a presentation, a dean gave a real life example of a boy who received a care package from his college student sister. In it was a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of vodka. Because teenage brains don’t assess risk well, he decided to get his two buddies and go down to the chapel basement, where they ate the cookies and drank the vodka. And got caught.
In this type of situation, the students go before the disciplinary committee. There’s undoubtedly some consequence, but the thing I vividly remember is that then the student and his/her advisor have to attend each dorm’s meeting, and talk with the other kids about what they did, and what they learned from the experience. It is not meant to be punitive, but so that both the rule-breaker and the other students can learn from the experience. I have to believe that those meetings will be forever seared in the miscreant’s memory. Far more of a teaching experience than simply being kicked out, as some other schools do.
Is there any other way to find things online? (said only half-jokingly). I almost-literally google search everything in life.
But really: are you going to the websites and using their search bars? I’ve typed in “robotics” and gotten actually nothing but then googled it, and found a long list of amazing robotics offerings at the same school.
TLDR: Some (I’d say maybe most?) schools that are great at teaching are not great at optimizing the functionality of their search engines. Just my experience.
^this. I had been relying too much on navigating their menus and not just searching.
I found the same issue on college graduation requirements. Almost every college has that basic info deeply buried on their website, and almost all of them have a page that you can find through google in 10 seconds.
I think that BS and colleges both probably have gotten their act a bit more together on their websites in the last 6 months because they had to. But I am amazed still at how frequently I encounter websites that are lacking.
Seriously people, you are charging $65,000 a year, more at the college level. For 5% of one student’s tuition for one year you can make drastic improvements. Just a set of logical menus, and a 5 minute or less intro to the school prominently on the main page would be awesome.
I do know several schools have been revising their handbook to include new COVID rules. This is probably why they are harder to find outright on their sites.
@buuzn03 is correct. Our school and a few others have changed their websites already. Our school is also in the process of changing the school profile - or adding a special section - due to COVID. I know that at our school and others, course offerings have changed this year (most likely due to COVID related issues).
For those prospective students/parents reading this…please don’t get hung up on course offerings THIS YEAR because schools, courses, EC’s, performing arts and sports are just going to be so changeable. There are some virtual tours and webinars coming up soon for several of the NE schools - do check them out. Also, try to connect with Ten Schools to determine when those webinars will be taking place and how to submit questions in advance.
Things I think can help distinguish one school from another:
How study hours work
How advisors work
How lights out work
How discipline works - are there other students involved in the process
How much interaction is there between students of different grades
How often does the entire school gather
How meals work
How many free periods do students get, and what kind of supervision is there during those times
What unique traditions are there
Laundry (you laugh, but it is a thing)
How do students go off campus
How much organized activities happen off campus
How often do outside speakers/performers come to campus
To what extent to kids have chores/jobs
What is the sex ed/life skills education like
What is the counseling department like - does it cost extra
How devoted to the arts, music and/or sports they are - some have specialized programs and treat them as rigorous, competitive disciplines, some have more of a “hobby” mentality to one or more of them.
Overall, I think you are spot on to pick a school aligned with your parenting- or at least what your daughter needs in the way of a parent. My kid, for example, thrives with adults who welcome kids to hang out with them (hosting D&D, pizza and movie nights, hanging out after class, taking kids to town, texting about whatever questions come up). For other kids, that would be way too much adult-child interaction. He also thrives with structure and clear expectations. He does way better at bs than at home because we are pretty unstructured. We aren’t enforcing a daily schedule. He has excellent time management skills now, and those aren’t from us.
Younger students benefit a lot from seeing how other adults and students do things.-peeking behind the curtain and seeing the different ways people struggle and the hard work that goes into being successful, even for the supposedly perfect students who are “naturally brilliant”. The people who seem perfect aren’t. Kiddo can cherry pick from the different styles of being human that he sees on display, to see what works for him. So to me, having a lot of “professional parent-teachers” and older students modeling how they make choices is a core perk of bs. I am not sure exactly how you suss out which schools are better than others at that - they are all probably pretty good. But the list of issues above mostly feed that concern.
And now I have a great list of questions for interviews, thanks @CateCAParent.
Definitely this isn’t the only reason I am looking at BS, but it’s a factor. I feel like the other 3 developed this more naturally. She needs more structure. I’m trying to give it to her, but she knows that I didn’t do that for her older 3 siblings, so she is really pushing back. She has a very highly developed sense of fairness, whether it is her or someone else on the short end of the stick. So every rule that the others didn’t have gets massive pushback. I also have that sense of fairness, so she really knows how to cut at me with her arguments.
I told her that at BS she would probably be really angry the first week at the enforced lights out and study hours. After that she would realize how much better her quality of life was, but it would still take her a couple of months to admit to me or the school that their plan was better than hers. She thought that sounded about right and like her.
The fact that occasionally she will admit that I am right about her mistakes and still refuses to changes her behavior both infuriates me and gives me hope for the future.
Thought of another thing - kids ordering food to be delivered to campus, post-study hour snacking, dorm parents providing snacks, how do the off-hour food options play out?
I think you can tell a lot about a school from the food situation- if the culture is for kids to DoorDash a lot, or there are cafe-type for pay options? Food can put a divide between those who can afford eating out and those who can’t.
Teens, especially athletes, get hungry at weird hours. How does a school accommodate that?
On websites, I noticed a huge difference from when we originally looked, about 10 years ago, and now. It seems that they lost what I would consider “intuitive organization” when they were made primarily navigable by phone. Or maybe that’s something a grumpy old lady says!
What @CateCAParent posted was something connected to an important factor in your search for a school: Do you want country or more urban setting? Some schools are within walking distance to town (PEA, PA, Concord Academy, Kent). There are some schools that are more out in the countryside. For some students, the environs around the school are a big factor. Again, this year will be different. In the past, food and access to food - even late at night - was never an issue, even out in the country. Too much food, in fact. Big feeds several times per week, fruit always and cereal always available in the dining hall (yes, free).
Concord Academy is also walking distance (blocks) from the commuter rail. Downtown Concord seems to be a little boutiquey for my taste, so being able to go into Boston’s North Station, etc. would be a plus.
Another factor to consider: what can be charged to a student account. Concord Academy has arranged it so that students can use their student account when frequenting some local businesses. While this is convenient, it is important to know about, depending on one’s budget. One day parent discovered that her child was charging to his student account frequent hot cocoa excursions with his buddies - and it was really adding up!
Can anyone comment on how the all girls dynamic works, specifically at Emma Willard? It seems like it would be a great option. Her knee jerk reaction is a hard no to all girls.
I don’t really have any experience with single sex education at the high school level. D is concerned for a couple of reasons.
One, I think she is a normal teen, and for reasons that terrify me as a dad she wants boys around. I get it. 2 of my kids went through HS with only a minimal interest in the opposite sex, which from a parenting view made my life easier. She is not planning on following their footsteps I don’t think.
The second reason she is resistant is that she feels like she has more guy friends than girl friends. That isn’t what it looks like to me, but I think more of the kids she talks to in school are guys. She just isn’t hanging out with them as much on the weekend.
I don’t really know what my specific question is. I guess how much interaction do they end up getting with guys and how does that work? Also if anyone can speak to the dynamic of all girls only that would be appreciated. Maybe that could put her a bit at ease. Or maybe she is right and she wouldn’t be happy there. I think it’s hard to say. At 13 she doesn’t exactly have a lot of life experience, even though she thinks she does.
I would like to leave it on the list, but if she is adamant that she won’t go there then there is no reason to apply. I thought maybe if I had more info I could convince her to at least leave it on the list and if she gets accepted we can visit and make a better determination.
@dadof4kids – girls schools conversation is a whole other topic that might be worth separating into a different thread. I say that in the spirit of maximizing the responses you’ll get, and also in thinking ahead to when other parents come back to search, will they be able to find the info they are seeking if multiple topics are addressed in a post thread.
So, don’t hesitate to start a new thread for a new topic (probably after poking around to see what has already been posted on the subject recently), or continue the conversation in another thread that is already addressing the issue. (I say this as someone who shares your questions about all-girl schools so in full disclosure, I have participated in, and have started, threads on that very topic.).
@dadof4kids - in years past (before COVID) both Emma Willard and MPS offered weekend visits. Our DD participated in the one for Emma the year she applied and did a dance audition day/visit for the day - at MPS. Both great experiences. The summer programs (Emma) and leadership weeks (Summer & Feb at MPS) were really great. The Leadership weekend during one of the winter long weekends was well done at MPS. With COVID, who knows what will happen? But, we felt the 2 girls schools did a great job of introducing boarding school atmosphere and sense of community. Knowing how creative the girls schools are, I am looking forward to seeing what they will offer this year in terms of programming to prospective students.
Is Concord Academy on or off the list? Sorry, it’s a long thread. I read the first page and thought of CA and Brooks. Maybe Governors.
CA has always seemed like a haven for kids who were of the SJW bent and it is so not stuffy.
I don’t know if this has been talked about or not but I strongly recommend that you make the push and do a 9th grade entry. 10th grade entry is harder, it is more limited, it is often due to sports (so they are often holding spots for athletes), you are shortening the adjustment time, 10th graders are expected to be on the ball - most new kids are not going to be on the ball.
Good luck (I follow your recruiting advice - super helpful!)
Thanks for the opinion @one1ofeach . It’s really hard to figure this out anyway, and not being able to actually see anywhere or meet anyone face to face isn’t helping.
At least at this point, the plan is to try for 9th grade entry without a repeat. She just started 8th grade.
Here’s the latest version of the list. It’s a bit long, but we are needing significant FA so it will probably stay a fairly long list. I would love any input on any of these schools, either here or in PM’s if that is more comfortable.
Most likely 15 or so from these:
George
Pomfret
Stevenson
Millbrook
Taft
Cushing
Mercersburg
Northfield Mt Hermon
Loomis Chaffee
Episcopal
Berkshire
Brooks
Governors Academy
Blair
Fountain Valley CO (not sure about the fit but drivable)
St Andrews DE (seems a bit more rigid, not sure how well she would adapt to that)
Emma Willard (she isn’t really excited about the prospect of all girls)
Cate (probably a long shot, but test blind this year)
Canterbury (not sure about the Catholic aspect)
If anyone gets added, probably from here.
Miss Porters
Suffield
Lawrenceville
The Webb Schools
middlesex
Thatcher
Concord (only 40% board, so I’m guessing around 150-160 boarders)
Thanks for any input the community has. When she gets test scores, this list may have to change. But this is what I am working with right now.
When I look at your “first” list, I have a good idea of what you are targeting. That’s a good sign, I think, about your filtering. In your “maybe” list, Lawrenceville is the one that is not like the others.
