Hey all. I’ve been anxious about this topic and would like some opinions. So my brother just recently graduated and before he left campus for the last time, he bought me the math textbook that I would be using for this upcoming school year. So, after looking through it for the first time and attempting some of the problems, I’m like (censored) I’m going to get kicked out because I’ll do poorly in academics. I don’t know why, but the wording on the questions is something I’m not accustomed to, and it takes me like 20 minutes to do a relatively simple problem. However, when I get up there, I won’t have my brother, or my parents to help me out. If anyone has any similar experiences, please reach out to me cause I’m really worried that I won’t do well.
“I won’t have my brother, or my parents to help me out”
But you’ll have your teacher and fellow students. Exeter accepted you because they think you are capable of doing the work. It’s normal to feel anxious but don’t let that shoot down your confidence level and faith in yourself. I bet your brother isn’t smarter than you and he graduated. 
One key to success is staying on top of your work, doing the practice problems, and seeking out extra help as soon as you notice that you are having an issue understanding a concept being covered. Don’t be afraid to seek out help.
Enjoy your summer and try not to worry about it ahead of time!
It’s ok to be scared. Just know that there are a lot of people who can help. Just don’t be afraid to ask for help if you fall behind. Don’t make the mistake of not telling anyone.
Exeter also probably has a learning center. They have professionals who can work with you and get individual attention on tough subjects. Reach out to the learning support people early if you face difficulty.
@Bunny8280 Take a deep breath. They wouldnt let you in if you didnt have the aptitude/capacity for the work. My son was terrified (for a month leading up) and talking about leaving the entire first term. I dont belong here-why did they let me in-there is just too much work --and so on. He figured it out. That learning experience was, all by itself, worth the price of admission. LOL. Yes it is a very very very tough school. There is NO hand holding. But if you need help you have to ask. There is not much in the way of teacher tutoring. They will meet with you and go over work but tutoring at Exeter is really peer tutoring and/or working with your peers. That was my kids biggest hurdle. He works alone and is not good at reaching out but he had to do it. You will be fine.
Read my thread. I just finished junior year at a TSAO school, and I bombed out freshman year. However I didn’t reach out for help early enough. Learn to be a good advocate for yourself.
Boarding school is not going to be easy. But after 2 years, I now have a better system in place that lets me handle the work load.
The bad news is that if you don’t do well, it will impact your college choices. The boarding schools won’t tell you this, they make it seem like getting Bs is no big deal.
Actually if you average a B at a high notch school, colleges will love that because they know how rigorous it is. What looks better, a B at Exeter or an A at a poor public school.
^ From what I’ve been reading here, it sounds like the “A” from the poor public school looks better! (Assuming that standardized scores validate the student’s record.) An “A” at a public school shows that you did as well as possible, while a “B” at Exeter puts you close to the bottom of the class. Especially if we are talking about average GPA over years and not a single course grade.
@SatchelSF yes this is part of the conundrum. I am sure the schools aren’t too thrilled either. If you score in the 99% on your SSAT and get a 3.0/3.5 at at PA, PEA, Choate etc and then get in the 99% on the SAT or ACT. You are in a worse situation than getting A;s at public and getting 99% on the SAT. Even with some accmodation by admissions on “known rigor”
How is that so? Why would a college like a student who was able to fall asleep in class and still get As because of how poor the school is( I was pretty much able to not pay attention in my freshman year at a public school and still do well* all honors classes*). However, colleges know how hard it is to do well at schools like Exeter, and they understand that a C or B student at TSAO is like an A at an ordinary public school. My brother had all As during his freshman year and public school, and after transferring to Exeter, his gpas were really bad, however, he still got accepted to one of the top colleges in the country.
@Bunny8280 - I was sort of in your camp regarding college perception of rigor at top boarding schools, but check out the other thread in this forum about the TSAO student with a 3.4 overall GPA (3.6-3.7 in second half sophomore year and junior year) and 1500+ on SAT and is being advised to scale back college expectations dramatically.
Your brother seems to have had a different experience out of Exeter. Was he a recruited athlete or did he have some other hook? Would the same be applicable to you when your time comes up?
I looked at as many of the TSAO college profiles that I could find online, and yes it does appear that a 3.0 GPA equivalent would put you in the bottom 15% of practically all those schools, and the bottom 15% is definitely not getting into a tippy top college absent some compelling hook I’d guess.
Nope. Not an athlete, musician, artist, or anything special. Ordinary student.
You’ve got the Harvard syndrome, where you can’t believe they took you because you don’t feel worthy. You belong. Take one day at a time.
But the thing is, I’m doing so poorly on these math questions, its not like I’m just basing my anxiety off its reputation.
Maybe it’s a Harkness thing. It may be learning a new way for Math that you’re not used to. Take it as a new way of looking at a problem that you hadn’t thought of before. When my daughter took BC Calc at Choate and was having difficulty figuring out a problem, her Math teacher would say simply, “Try wiggling it.” ie. look at it from a different way.
You are in for the education of your life. Be engaged, but try to enjoy it too.
And stop looking at that text book. You aren’t expected to have mastered any of it before you get there, and you have no idea how Exeter will present those concepts to you in your particular class among your particular classmates, regardless of how your brother might be helping you now. You may be surprised at how much better you’ll be at those problems when you are being taught how to consider them in a Harkness math classroom. Exeter is going to teach a method of approach and thinking that you have not experienced yet. They know what they are doing and they know you have the ability to succeed. So, put the book down and enjoy this time with your family. 
@Bunny8280 I am a little confused. What do you mean by math textbook?
Look back to the original post where I mention that my brother bought me the textbook I would be using this fall
What kind of student was your brother at Exeter and where is he going to college?
I was under the impression that Exeter doesnt use textbooks for math, physics and a other various subjects . The students get problem sets that are created by faculty for the various courses.
Right he printed all the pages and placed it in a binder to create a “textbook”