<p>She is scared and worried. She is going to miss you. She has loved since before the day you were born. And now you are going to leave. That is why she feels so sad.</p>
<p>What about the other schools? Would any of the others be a good compromise?</p>
<p>Relationships go both ways. I have seen controlling parents, but she does not sound like one. She sounds like someone who has you as the center of her life, and she is about to lose you, and she is scared and very upset and sad over this. Try approaching her in an understanding, loving way, and you might get further with her.</p>
<p>Is it possible that your Mom is fixated on UOP because she wants you to study pharmacy? She might see pharmacy as your way out of poverty and in her mind at UOP you are already in the pharmacy program.</p>
<p>Is your mom from a culture or family in which the children are expected to stay close and take care of elders? This is an expectation in many families, and is not always a bad one, but in this case, I think your mother needs to realize that you can go to Boston for college, then choose to return when you are done. You are not gone forever.</p>
<p>Are you a female student? Oldest?</p>
<p>Is there someone you can talk to, who can mediate between you and your mom? Aslo, someone who can talk to your mom about other resources available to her if “something should happen” with her or with your grandma.</p>
<p>You deserve to choose without guilt, if at all possible.</p>
<p>Northeastern’s coop program does a pretty good job of preparing students for work after graduation, as well as providing connections and resume, and therefore makes students quite employable- a strong plus in your situation.</p>
<p>Let us know when you have financial aid packages from all the schools, including NEU.</p>
<p>That is so ironic considering according to a date who is a Pharmacist, the field’s getting crowded in some places and it’s not as lucrative as people make it out to be. </p>
<p>Plus, if you hate your career as she did and want to start over…it’s really hard because the education is so specialized.</p>
<p>I’ve been a lurker around these boards for a little while and this is the first thread that I feel compelled to join. Unlike some parents here, I think that your mother does sound controlling. If she isn’t able to support you in your dreams (whether that’s studying Pharmacy, art history or traveling the world with a backpack on your back and no money in your pockets), then it might be best to examine what you want and decide whether it is worth upsetting her in order to be true to yourself. Think about how many people have had to go against their parents wishes in order to achieve greatness. You can still be a respectful and caring child without doing what she demands. Some suggested earlier on that if your mother is helping to pay for college, she has the say over what you do. I suggest doing everything you can to get through college independently. It looks like this could be quite possible for you at a UC and I think it would serve you well in the long term. I can imagine that if she dictates what you’ll study and in which college, she may also want to decide where you live, whom you marry and how you raise your children in he future. Realize that your mother is doing the best she knows how, but also realize that your primary responsibility is to yourself. As far as I know, you’ve only got one go at this life. Live it with freedom, passion and faithfulness to yourself.</p>
<p>Yes, I’m a female student and the oldest child. </p>
<p>My mom wanted to see and talk to my friends/teacher who support my decision in going to NEU but I’m kind of scared how that will go. I’ll go ask my teacher if he’s willing to talk to my mom.</p>
<p>NEU is a good school but doesn’t meet financial need. It’s likely you and your Mom will have to take out significant loans even with a low EFC. It may be best to get the financial offer from Northeastern and see if it’s an affordable option for you before you have your teachers “go to bat” for you.</p>
<p>So I just received my FA package for Northeastern and in one year, I would have to take out $9700 in loans whereas for UoP I would have to take out $20200 which is nearly double that of Northeastern but my mom still won’t yield.
She argues that I haven’t factored in the costs of living and possibly moving out in the next year or so and the rent, internet, and other fees.
But I was just wondering, in the end, wouldn’t these extra/excess fees amount to what I would have to pay at UoP? And that’s not including the extra/excess fees I would incur at UoP </p>
<p>Should I just give up now? I really want to go to Northeastern though but is it selfish for me to insist on going? I need some advice…</p>
<p>UCSD: $6,100 loans, $2,800 work study, $707 EFC
Northeastern: $9,700 loans, ??? work study, ??? EFC
UoP: $18,200 loans, $2,000 work study, ??? EFC</p>
<p>It is obvious that UoP is too expensive. If that is the only college your mother will let you attend, you may have to defer college until you are 24, married, or a military veteran so that you can be independent of her for financial aid purposes (including her willingness to provide information for FAFSA).</p>
<p>I really feel for you and hope that you can stand up for yourself in this situation! If the EFC at Northeastern is minimal like it is at UCSD, you could decide to attend without your Mom’s blessing. Even if you aren’t classified as an independent student, your mother’s income is low enough that it shouldn’t make much of a differnce in your financial aid situation. Cost of living is included in the colleges’ estimates of total cost for the year and if you are only traveling back to California a couple times per year, your debt at Northeastern should still be significantly less than at UOP. At the very least, consider UCSD. It would be a shame to rack up so much debt for a school you don’t even want to attend! Good luck and keep us updated!</p>
<p>Really?? In such a case the OP could petition the school to consider her as an independent student. I’ve been through the process with my younger sister and we found that, at least at the private schools to which she applied, the financial aid offices were flexible and found a way to work with her unusual situation. Perhaps the OP could contact Northeastern’s financial aid office now and discuss potential options in case her mother refused to provide info/support in coming years.</p>
<p>OP, I think your mom is overstepping. I think it is madness to take on that kind of debt, in any scenario. Parents may want whats best, they may simply want all the power, but I think it is ill advised to try and convince her. I dont think she’s ignorant, I think she’s stubborn. Stop trying to make her change her mind, and change yours. Make a decision, and then she can either get on board or sulk. </p>
<p>So, I would present her with your decision, remind her that if a family catastrophe happens you will all deal with it appropriately. If school becomes too expensive, you can transfer. If you get lonely, you 'll save up airfare and come visit. She is not able to support you financially, and that’s fine, but no parent has the right to insist on a paeticular path for their offspring. Not cool, imho. Next it will be what classes you take, how often you visit, where you live, what furniture you buy, who to date, how to raise your kids…You do both of you a favor by acting with compassion but with independance. You are not an indentured servant, you are a person. with good goals and a sound plan, full of promise and potential. Go forth and blossom!</p>
<p>I say it’s best to let Mom sit down with an admissions officer or get on the phone with one. The AOs deal with this a lot and they will know what to say.</p>
<p>OP, plug the figures UCBalumnus cited (post #49) in a spreadsheet with NEU as first column, UCSD in the 2nd column, UoP in the third column. The rows will be the expenses and scholarships/grants/loans you will get with the final total showing the net cost. For the expense rows, add plane tickets. Go to Expedia and plug in a one-way ticket on the days you will most likely be traveling based on the school calendar. To back up the expenses, print out each school’s COA. Show the paperwork to your mother.</p>
<p>We are CA parents with DS graduating with pharmD from Northeastern in two weeks. It was rigorous, but he was able to participate in many non-pharmacy activities and club sports so he got a real all-around college experience. </p>
<p>If you are sure you wish to study pharmacy go with NU because it guarantees all pharmacy majors the opportunity to finish in 6 years without going through another interview/evaluation/screening after the 2nd year (and the possibility of not being selected) for the 4-year professional program. (We know of several pre-pharm majors at UoP who did not get selected to the professional school despite what is posted on the website.) At Northeastern you will also earn a Bachelor’s degree during the 6 year program with the pharmD awarded at the end. NU also guarantees you a seat in every class you will need in sequence to graduate on time. Unfortunately the public universities cannot offer you the same. (DS was also able to complete a minor in Business Administration during his years at NU.)</p>
<p>As far as travel is concerned, if you purchase advance fares from BOS to SFO you can get them down to $300-400 round trip. DS did not come home for short holidays (Thanksgiving), but met many friends there who hosted him. The NU winter break is long enough that your air travel can be before & after the highest fares. </p>
<p>At NU, during the co-op periods, you can earn significant $$ while getting 12-18 months of experience in your chosen field (pharmacy has 3 x 4 month coops, the other majors have 3 x 6 month coops). You can make some great connections for post-graduate employment.</p>
<p>Cost of living for DS in Boston was not significantly more than his friends who went to UCB, UCLA, UCI, and UCSD. You don’t need a car in Boston – public transportation is good and inexpensive. (If you’re not sure of pharmacy, don’t go to a private university unless the FA makes a a significant advantage over a UC or CSU. Go to a CA public university and figure out what you want to do.)</p>
<p>Thank you creasemonkey!
I didn’t know that for the UoP PharmD program, you’d have to go through an interview/screening process again. Thanks to your information, I looked deeper into that and a current student in the 3+3 program said that indeed, there would be another selective process. The whole reason I applied to these accelerated PharmD programs was to avoid having to go through a reapplication process. (Otherwise, I could just go to a UC and graduate and then apply to pharmacy school). I’m also quite lazy and the fact of reapplying for school again doesn’t seem too appealing. In addition, the TJL Pharmacy School at UoP is very competitive, as they admit only 100 students. </p>
<p>Is it too personal of a question to ask, how much money DS spent in terms of a month? Like living expenses and what not? I think that’s the major problem/issue my mother is concerned about.</p>
<p>I would like to thank everyone for their comments, advice, and help.
My mother has made it clear that I will be disowned if I do not go to UoP so I guess I’ll just submit my SIR and go there . </p>
<p>I just want to reiterate that I am very thankful to everyone</p>