<p>My parents are immigrants from Laos, so they are really demanding I have the American Dream of owning a big house and being rich. I, on the other hand do not care about material things. I don't care if I have the big jobs, or being rich at all. All I care about is having a career that would make me happy and that would glorify God. </p>
<p>I am a Christian and go to a Bible Institute now, but my parents are not Christians. They strictly hate Christianity and me going to Church, but I am doing it for my sake and not theirs. </p>
<p>The thing is next year for college they want me to attend an in-state college. At first I did not agree with them because I had my own plans of wanting to transfer to a Christian university, such as Lancaster or PBU. They quickly said no. Over time I agreed with them on attending an in-state college. The only reason I disagreed was because I think would have trouble growing in my faith in a public university, which is true. Things were fine until they said I would have to commute too. I was furious. I am almost 19 and college is a time where you need to meet new people and experience different places. On top of that they are forcing me to change my major. Before I was saved, I had an interest in Entrepreneurship, but as I learned more about the Bible, I want to be able to minister to others about the Gospel. </p>
<p>I no longer have an interest in Entrepreneurship anymore, but rather I would like to major in English and have TESOL certification to be able to teach English overseas. My parents do not like the idea at all. One, because they think I won't be financially stable, but English teachers make about $2,500 a month, which I think is reasonable to pay off my school loans. Second, they don't like the idea of me being a teacher. Once again, my parents are Asian immigrants, so they high stress that I become a doctor or a lawyer. </p>
<p>The Bible tells us to obey our parents, but does that mean I have to obey them in everything I do and not have any input in anything?
My parents are controlling everything from the school, how I get to school, and my major, so that like everything in my future. I don't know what to do.
I am seriously thinking of moving out to a friend's house where I can work and then attend college the following year, so that I can major in whatever it is I want, rather than having my parents' live their dream from me.</p>
<p>At a large state school, you will find many opportunities to be active in your faith, including student groups and volunteer service. You might find it helpful to explore those options and reach out to current students.</p>
<p>First, I would take a minute to recognize that your parents are trying to help you as best they can within the confines of their experiences. Second, while your motives and intents are wonderful, I would consider taking things more slowly with your parents. Maybe consider double-majoring which can be normally done with proper planning – perhaps English and maybe something like international relations or economics which may be more palatable to them and might also come in handy if you do travel and want to help others. (Actually English is really a fine major for pre-law as writing skills are critical). In terms of commuting, sometimes it is an economic necessity, but maybe you can work that out. And lastly, in almost every college or university there is a chance to grow your faith – in some places you may have to seek it out a bit more, but you will find it. Good luck.</p>
<p>As a Christian myself, I do feel for your situation. It must be hard with parents who don’t get your faith at all, and who have very clear goals for you which don’t match your own. Please try to remember that they are so insistent because they love you and want what they think is best for you. In other words, their intention for you is good. They are not trying to put obstacles in your life, even if that is the result.</p>
<p>I think that no one should be forced to be a doctor or lawyer if their heart isn’t in it. But those fields require grad school. I wonder if there is room for compromise at the undergraduate level. </p>
<p>The Bible says to honor your father and mother. There is lots of room for interpretation as to what “honor” means, and many Christians have different views on this. I think, at the very least, you would want to be a good witness to them. This means always speaking respectfully and letting them know that you hear their concern for your future. It means loving them even when you disagree. No matter what path you take, this should be a basic foundation.</p>
<p>I can’t recommend a specific path, but I do have a couple of questions. What would it be like for you to get an undergraduate degree in whatever major they suggest, then if you still feel strongly that you need a different direction, present it to them then? If you want to do any type of graduate work, your undergrad course of study isn’t all that important for many fields. You could get a master’s in English or education, taking out your own loans if necessary. Your parents will still have a hard time with your career, but at least they will know that you gave it a shot their way. And your humble attitude may win them over. </p>
<p>Can you look at the commute as a sacrifice of obedience on your part? </p>
<p>Do you have a pastor or trusted spiritual advisor that you can consult? They will more thoroughly be able to speak to your situation.</p>
<p>If you DO feel you need to leave your home, be sure to do it respectfully and lovingly and as an adult who needs to chart his/her own course, rather than as an angry teenager who is feeling confined.</p>
<p>It sounds to me that you have 3 separate issues:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>School choices: Tuition fee is a big factor in a lot of people’s decisions. Going out-of-state will significantly add to your tuition total at graduation. Also, consider the fact that you will be very far away from your current friends/family.</p></li>
<li><p>Commuting/Campus living: Finance will factor into this too. Does living at home make expenses significantly cheaper? You may choose to commute for the first couple of years and then move out to an apartment with a friend in your sophomore or junior year. Indeed, living on campus seems like a much better option, but can you afford it? You need to discuss your financial issues with your parents.</p></li>
<li><p>Major: I’ll be honest and say that I don’t have anything good to say about being an English major, so I’ll shut my mouth (Or rather, stop typing)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>TESOL is a lovely career, but not particularly well paid. If you really want that career, you should get your degree with as little debt as possible - preferably without any debt at all.</p>
<p>There are good debt repayment calculators at [FinAid</a>! Financial Aid, College Scholarships and Student Loans](<a href=“http://www.finaid.org%5DFinAid”>http://www.finaid.org). Run your numbers there to get an idea of the kind of money you need to be earning to pay down they debt you are contemplating.</p>
<p>The plain and simple truth is that nationwide, more students live at home and commute to college, than live at their schools. If you can only afford a school that you have to commute to, you will, in fact, be having the “real” college experience.</p>