<p>My parents are immigrants from Laos, so they are really demanding I have the American Dream of owning a big house and being rich. I, on the other hand do not care about material things. I don't care if I have the big jobs, or being rich at all. All I care about is having a career that would make me happy and that would glorify God. </p>
<p>I am a Christian and go to a Bible Institute now, but my parents are not Christians. They strictly hate Christianity and me going to Church, but I am doing it for my sake and not theirs. </p>
<p>The thing is next year for college they want me to attend an in-state college. At first I did not agree with them because I had my own plans of wanting to transfer to a Christian university, such as Lancaster or PBU. They quickly said no. Over time I agreed with them on attending an in-state college. The only reason I disagreed was because I think would have trouble growing in my faith in a public university, which is true. Things were fine until they said I would have to commute too. I was furious. I am almost 19 and college is a time where you need to meet new people and experience different places. On top of that they are forcing me to change my major. Before I was saved, I had an interest in Entrepreneurship, but as I learned more about the Bible, I want to be able to minister to others about the Gospel. </p>
<p>I no longer have an interest in Entrepreneurship anymore, but rather I would like to major in English and have TESOL certification to be able to teach English overseas. My parents do not like the idea at all. One, because they think I won't be financially stable, but English teachers make about $2,500 a month, which I think is reasonable to pay off my school loans. Second, they don't like the idea of me being a teacher. Once again, my parents are Asian immigrants, so they high stress that I become a doctor or a lawyer. </p>
<p>The Bible tells us to obey our parents, but does that mean I have to obey them in everything I do and not have any input in anything?
My parents are controlling everything from the school, how I get to school, and my major, so that like everything in my future. I don't know what to do.
I am seriously thinking of moving out to a friend's house where I can work and then attend college the following year, so that I can major in whatever it is I want, rather than having my parents' live their dream from me.</p>
<p>The Bible tells children to obey their parents. Adults simply need to honor them, which means you do not have to do as you are told for the rest of your life. Your Lao parents probably disagree with this American notion. </p>
<p>For reasons I don’t want to go into n a public forum, I actually kow quite a bit about what you’re up against. PM me if you’d like. I can get back to you this evening.</p>
That sounds like a possible plan. You might also want to see about attending a CC for the first couple of years since that’d make the overall college cost even lower and you might be able to start right away without delaying a year.</p>
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This doesn’t make sense. Why can’t you grow your faith while you happen to be at a state college? The two aren’t mutually exclusive. You’ll even find that at most state colleges there are various Christian (and other faiths) organizations. Outside of that you can still go to church, have meetings with like minded people, etc. You don’t need to give up or stifle your faith just because you’re going to a state U. If what you really mean is that you want to pursue a ministry degree of some type that’s available only at particular Christian colleges that’s a different story.</p>
<p>Yes, actually that is what it means but it does seem like a problematic area. What does the Bible tell you that you should do when your parents tell you to do something that goes against Biblical teaching?</p>
<p>What are your student loans going to look like? $2,500 a month doesn’t sound like very much to me, there might not be a lot left over after you’ve paid for your living expenses.</p>
<p>If you are truly religious the college won’t matter. You will be deciding your actions and if your faith is strong, your surroundings shouldn’t be an issue. It will actually test your beliefs.</p>
<p>Truth is, if parents are paying, you kind of have to go their way. But if you can go it on your own, why not</p>
<p>If you are going the Christian college route make sure theybare accredited because your units won’t transfer otherwise and your degree may, well, not be of much value depending on the school.</p>
<p>Personally such sheltered schools I don’t think are healthy and when you talk about teaching overseas the more variety of people you meet, Christian an d otherwise will make you a better teacher.</p>
<p>Ps…I don’t believe in the bible or god or any of that, but if its truly your calling, it’ll happen regardless of school parents work wtc</p>
<p>Do you have a pastor or minister who could counsel you? As for your major, I wouldn’t even get into that conversation with your parents. Majors can be changed when you’re at school, and it’s unlikely your parents would even be made aware of this.</p>
<p>Are your parents paying for your college? Will any of your Christian colleges give you a full scholarship package so that you can live and educate yourself immersed in your religion.</p>
<p>At age 18, you are technically an adult, but for college financial aid purposes, you are still dependent on your parents financial situation. If you want to go to college before age 24 and cannot get the funds from the college or earn it yourself, then you have to toe the line that those who are paying draw. </p>
<p>My suggestion is to to do as Gladgraddad says in terms of your religion, and take the course of study that your parents are requiring for their support. The choice is to turn down their money and go it alone. It’s really quite a simple choice. </p>
<p>Though my requirements for my children in college are not the same, there are requirements that they have to meet if they are going to get my support. It’s a take it or leave it situation on some things.</p>
<p>I don’t think any student should be held hostage to his/her parents’ idea of what is “right” for them, no matter the circumstances. At some point, we no longer think like a child or speak like a child, but come into our own life. </p>
<p>Practically speaking, I would find a mentor – a pastor, or teacher, or principal, or other authority figure and have that person meet with your parents. Ideally, you want to persuade your parents that you have thought this through and are determined to do this. If it does come down to their way, or not at all, remember that most religious/missionary/faith based work is not based at all on your degree, but on your willingness to go where God leads. (My b.i.l. is a missionary who has spent his whole life in Kenya, running a medical clinic. His degree is in electrical engineering) I would hate to see your and your parents become estranged over something now, when you can simply wait them out and go on the path you’ve chosen. But you are not wrong in thinking that you should have ownership of your journey.</p>
<p>kalialor23 - I am so sorry that during what should be a time of excitement for your future, your parents cannot enjoy who you hope to be. However, I do believe there is a middle ground. Plenty of NGO’s would love someone who majored in international affairs and minored in religion. Or any other number of combinations. An undergrad degree with the idea of heading to law school is pretty wide open, so why argue about where you might land in four years? My niece is a certified TOEFL instructor but achieved that while studying abroad her junior year. Religion major and Cultural studies minor. </p>
<p>Your passion for independence seems to be well placed when you say college is a time to meet new people and experience new places. And you will be a much better teacher (and person) if you can come to accept all kinds of people who share a very different view than your own, including the religious, the political and even… the parental. Surrounding yourself with totally like-minded people isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not much of a growth thing.</p>
<p>Mutual respect is a clear sign of adulthood and I think you need some patience in your parents understanding and acceptance, especially if you want their financial support. The rest might come and it might never…but right now, they only know what they think they know. Your job will be to educate them on the possibilities as future opportunities come to you.</p>
<p>And one question: Would their desire to have you live at home be because room and board expenses make it unaffordable? Or just as a measure of control? And do you really know the honest answer to that question?</p>
<p>Honestly, there is no need to even determine what happens after undergrad at this point. That is the definition of putting the cart before the horse. I suggest you save that energy for the more immediate issues.</p>