<p>I have a really strange situation with my mom involving MT. She's extremely supportive of my career choice and wants nothing more than to see me succeed. However, she is also new to the MT world and doesn't understand a lot of things about it, which she readily admits. She doesn't like the burden of dance, voice lessons, music lessons, etc. She doesn't like how expensive and time-consuming they are. </p>
<p>The weird part, though, is that she doesn't seem to think they're all that necessary. She thinks natural talent is the most important part of college auditions, and to an extent I agree with her, but it's just stupid not to get as much training as you can. And on the contrary, while she doesn't like private lessons, she's totally fine with sending me to MPulse and has always been fine with summer programs...I don't understand it. When I told her I need to get back with a voice teacher this summer (which is absolutely necessary, I will be a senior next year), she said "But you already know how to sing." I didn't even know what to do except laugh. So I tried to explain to her about building up a rep of songs, which I started to do last year with a different voice teacher, and how vocal training never really ends, but this is just so frustrating and one of the strangest situations I've ever encountered. She also doesn't see the need for me to go to the same workshop more than once (Take It From The Top in particular, which I want to do this summer) which I can see her point about but it just frustrates me to no end...they cover different things each time the workshop is done.</p>
<p>It's not that she's being mean or stingy about it either, she just doesn't get it. It's so WEIRD. Help? How do I explain all of this to her without sounding like I'm just being overly dramatic?</p>
<p>Why don’t you try to get her to sit down with you and read some of the threads on this board that talk about the process, how competitive it is and how students prepare themselves for the audition process. Threads like “Class of 2009 and 2010 - Preparing to Apply” which is pegged as a featured thread, there’s a thread with info on acceptance ratios for a load of schools, the threads on rejections, should help her to see, out of the mouths of parents and students that have gone through the process, what this all entails and how important it is to come into the process with as much training as possible. Possible hearing it from other parents will lend credibility to your desire to get additional ongoing training. Good luck!</p>
<p>claire – I’m sure there are also people on this board who would be happy to communicate with your mom more personally. I’m one of them; if she has any specific questions or things she’d like to discuss, feel free to e-mail me; a PM is OK too, but my mailbox tends to get filled up pretty quickly. I’m a coach, a performer, and a mom of a MT student, so I have experience from more than one perspective. Good luck!</p>
<p>claire<em>the</em>bear - I would also suggest that you get on this website with your Mom and have her read some of these threads so that she understands what you will be doing next year in your audtions and just how competitive this process is.</p>
<p>My DD is also a junior like you that will be doing auditions next year. We found this website a couple of years ago and have learned so much from it. I don’t think we would have understood this how process as well without the help of the wonderful people here.</p>
<p>In regards to the voice lessons, dance, etc. I see these as training for my DD as well as her ECs. In the MT field performers are always taking lessons and classes regardless of their levels as there is always more to learn.</p>
<p>I hope that your Mom will take the time to email or PM some of the people here as they are experts in this process and are extremely helpful!</p>
<p>Claire, it may be that your mom has a budget in mind for all this extracurricular stuff, and would rather see it spent with some impact (as in a summer program) than in dribs and drabs of lessons here and there. </p>
<p>Even if you do not think that money is an object or problem, I would urge you to discuss this with her on an adult level. Explain that you understand the pocket is not bottomless and that you would like to know what is comfortable for her to budget for extracurricular lessons. Then YOU choose whether or not a summer program OR weekly lessons is what you need more. </p>
<p>Regardless of how affluent a family is, there is a certain point at which the parents think, “enough is enough.” Your mom may be there now. :)</p>
<p>Claire, not knowing the details of your situation, would it be possible for you to get a part-time job and help pay for lessons yourself? This might show your mom how serious you are and how important you feel the lessons are. I know it can be hard to do it all and work also, but it can be done, my son did it.</p>
<p>CtB…just a question – are you driving yet? Some families whose kids are not driving get, well, tired of the schlepping back and forth, as well as the disrupted dinners (why is there never a dance class that does not involve the dinner hour??). In other words, does your schedule impact more than $$$$s, and more than yourself? It’s funny…I don’t mind the schlepping (gives me a chance to talk to my daughter, who’s not interested in driving yet…) but I also enjoy the summer evenings of my freedom when she’s happily involved in her summer program… Think about the family dynamics, too – are there other kiddos who need taken to soccer, your mom’s work schedule, the never-ending laundry? Maybe if you offer to (or just start to) help with some of the logistics of the house (my daughter has been known to do her vocal warmups while folding laundry…). It helps, at least at our house. She knows that we are all important and, although her training is crucial (and time- and money-consuming…) it’s not the only thing going on around here. </p>
<p>Good luck with your discussions w/your mom (I have a feeling this is an important topic in your home right now).</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice! Yeah, we’ve discussed the money factor, and a lot of it has to do with that. Living in Michigan during the slow demise of the auto companies has not been good to us. I have a job, so I help pay for as much as I can. Some of you also asked if I drive - yes, I do =). Onstage, I may have her email you, thanks a lot! You are all so helpful and I appreciate it so much.</p>
<p>claire, if it is, indeed, a case of her worrying about the cost of lessons, that’s one issue and that’s something that you’ll have to balance with family finances. However, if your mom really does believe that you don’t need lessons when she says things like “but you already know how to sing”, you can let her know that vocal training and protecting vocal health are important even when you become a professional. I can think of very few MT actors that I know who are working professionally who do not still have a voice teacher or vocal health professional on whom they rely to keep their instrument in tip-top shape.</p>
<p>Claire- You are a very sensible young lady and I do hope that you hang in there and get with the right teacher.
Talk to your mom about vocal health and it’s importance. You have one voice, its not like you can go out and buy a replacement if its damaged beyone repair. That almost happened to my D, even though she had a terrific voice teacher; she was at a well-respected summer program and didn’t know how to say “no” when asked to sing pieces that caused damage. It was touch and go for quite a while, but with the care of her teacher and a great ENT, she came back, stronger than ever and will be attending a top conservatory in the fall. I’d be glad to talk to your mother, if it would help you, or I know my D would talk to you about it. Send me a PM if you wish. Good luck!</p>