<p>…more on this wonderful subject… :)</p>
<p>from: [Helicopter</a> Parents - WPTV NewsChannel 5](<a href=“http://www.wptv.com/content/segments/smartwomen/story.aspx?content_id=f8a81636-472c-4b1b-bc35-e794cfbaa54d]Helicopter”>http://www.wptv.com/content/segments/smartwomen/story.aspx?content_id=f8a81636-472c-4b1b-bc35-e794cfbaa54d)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>HERE’S THE QUIZ!..</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>lol, I'll game. (take vacation break at home, nothing better to do)</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you search college websites for your child? YES, but only after he comes up his initial list.</li>
<li>Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES, for those at his list.</li>
</ol>
<p>Guess, I'm not qualified.</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you search college websites for your child? YES with child</li>
<li>Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? Absolutely since I'll be footing the bill</li>
</ol>
<p>Does this mean I'm just a "hang glider" parent?</p>
<p>Well, I did four of eight, but no more than three for any one child. </p>
<p>Who hasn't helped a kid get his or her first job? In one case, it was just telling her that I had seen a "Help Wanted" sign.</p>
<p>Four out of eight here, too. But I think performance majors require a little more. I did not do as much with the others. The logistics of auditions were my area so I used the materials and websites to set up the spreadsheets and manage dates. I also did the final scholarship negotiations with the faculty. She is also shy so I would help her get ready for interviews but going over possible questions. </p>
<p>This motorized hang glider is in the hanger though. She is happily settled in her perfect fit school.</p>
<ol>
<li>NO</li>
<li> YES</li>
<li> NO</li>
<li>YES</li>
<li>NO</li>
<li>NO</li>
<li>NO</li>
<li>NO</li>
<li>YES</li>
</ol>
<p>So I do not qualify. Not even very close. OK</p>
<p>1,2 (high school),4,6.</p>
<p>Now that she is where she wanted to be I have happily landed the helicopter. I can say with utter honesty that until the college selection process, I wasn't even close to being a helicopter parent and so now it is easy to going back to my former life with her settled in. We didn't meddle in course selection, ask about grades, etc. I know she is self motivated and self reliant and is much happier telling me of her own volition what is going on in her new life.</p>
<p>That's really cute!</p>
<p>I'm 4/9 and should probably get a new screen name...</p>
<p>3/9, what a relief....if lurking on CC for hours on end were added to that list, then it would be a definite 4/10...not bad.</p>
<p>I only got 3 of 9....I actually thought I was a helicopter parent, but I guess I'm really not.</p>
<p>1, 8, 9 = yes. I am close.</p>
<p>I'm a 1, 4 (only because she asked me to role play the interviewer), 6 and I am tempted to do 8 (just to verify that the transcripts are going out) and arn't we supposed to do number 9? It's called defending your pocketbook.
I'm borderline-- any thing now could push me off the edge!
I never picked her classes for her but reviewed her choice and yes butted in this year. D then complained that I did not force her to take enough AP classes!
She picked her college choices and did research. Her P's made one suggestion for an instate school match and it has a state grant opportunity.</p>
<p>Interesting questions. I don't personally think that all these questions can always be answered no. Nor do I believe that answering yes to any one or more questions is necessarily bad. Also, none of the "Sort of yes" answers below were ever done without my kid's knowledge and agreement. So, in my description, I don't believe that I answered any of the below questions in a "Negative" way. But then again, there are some parents on this forum that believe that ANY help from a parent is a hindrance for their kids. That it's some how "Not Fair" to other kids who don't have parents who are as caring and involved. I definitely believe that there are some parents who are helicopter parents. I just don't believe that it can be determined on 9 finite yes or no questions. If all of these questions are ONLY intended in reference to college age students, then that is one thing. If it's asking about a parent raising a child, then is something else. Such as courses, activities, meeting teachers, etc... Many times this is a parent's job. Some kids wouldn't choose challenging classes, activities, etc... Anyway, here's my opinion.</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you search college websites for your child? Clarify (I look at the ones HE applied to)</li>
<li>Do you have a strong influence over the courses your child takes? NO, not since 7th grade.</li>
<li>Do you play the lead role in planning your child's activities? NO; (But when they were little; elementary school; I made sure they got involved with activities. At 6-12 yrs old, they don't know what they want. I get them involved, and if they don't like it they don't stay in it. If they like it, they stay with it.)</li>
<li>Are you planning to prepare your child for campus interviews? NO; none required</li>
<li>Do you plan on directly contacting faculty or coaches? NOT really; (Son was already accepted to the colleges academically. Sent emails to coaches with stats to see if they might be interested. Nothing beyond an info email).</li>
<li>Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? Depends; (Only the ones he applied to and were interested in. After all, I'm the one paying for it probably. He received literally 15-20 a week. Most of which the kids never requested info from).</li>
<li>Are you planning to write your child's application essays? NO</li>
<li>Do you meet with the high school counselor without your child present? NO, not officially. Unofficially, parents, teachers, counselors, principles, etc... see each other all the time. Discussing the kids is a normal topic.</li>
<li>Have you helped your child find a job? NO</li>
</ol>
<p>I think something that I recognize in this list is the difference between a large school/urban setting and a small school/rural setting. (Both up for interpretation). I grew up in the New York City/New Jersey urban areas where I went to public school. The ONLY TIME a parent say a teacher, counselor, principle, etc... was when the kid was in trouble or if you were indeed a helicopter parent who was a control freak. Also, most parents seemed (Busier) and therefor as long as their kid was passing, not in trouble, not pregnant or doing drugs, you left them alone. YES, that is how our urban schools were. In the smaller school/rural environment, schools are more of a social event for the entire community. Sporting, musical, drama, art, etc... events among the schools attracted many people in the community. Not just parents. Teachers, counselors, principles, etc... were also neighbors, same church, their spouse might work with you, etc... It is more a COMMUNITY and not a place that took care of your kids for 6 hours a day.</p>
<p>I guess what I'm saying is that this is also one of those times where a finite answer can not apply. A YES for one person could be bad, while a YES by another parent could be totally normal, acceptable, and productive for their child. Many of us have heard of people complaining about certain standardized tests as being "Socially Biased" based on a person's background and environment. Well, this is an example of that.</p>
<p>4 out of 9.... phew. Personally I think # 7 should be a winner-take-all question. If you are planning to write your child's essays, you ARE a helicopter.</p>
<p>I'll plead "guilty" to two charges:</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you search college websites for your child? YES or NO</li>
<li>Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES or NO</li>
</ol>
<p>I think my wife is totally innocent. Both of us have spent considerable time talking to our daughter about her aspirations, interests, college options, job prospects, etc. but the initiative has generally been on the daughter's part. I can't say that the level of parental involvement will be the same for daughter #2 since she is a very different person, but I don't think my wife and I by nature are the helicoptering sort. (don't know if the kids would agree)</p>
<p>Warning: Rant to follow.</p>
<p>These types of "quizzes" make me crazy!!!!!!</p>
<p>Does anybody believe that the following questions are in any way equivalent?</p>
<p>"Are you planning to write your child's application essays? YES or NO"
"Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES or NO"</p>
<p>Yet they "count" the same.</p>
<p>End of rant. Thank you.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Do you search college websites for your child? YES - but for my info only, D will decide where she is interested in visiting or applying</p></li>
<li><p>Do you have a strong influence over the courses your child takes? YES - but not since 7th grade when I had to override a teacher's recommendation not to place D in advanced math - she has had one of the highest math averages in the class ever since. Also, made her take Latin as a language, and it has paid dividends big time...</p></li>
<li><p>Do you play the lead role in planning your child's activities? NO</p></li>
<li><p>Are you planning to prepare your child for campus interviews? YES - since I have experience as an interviewer, I plan to do mock interviews with D and her friends</p></li>
<li><p>Do you plan on directly contacting faculty or coaches? NO - since she is the athlete she will have to do that herself</p></li>
<li><p>Do you review the publications colleges send to your child? YES - I'd like to know where some of the unsolicited stuff has come from (based on scores versus athletic interest)</p></li>
<li><p>Are you planning to write your child's application essays? emphatic NO - but I will encourage her to read the Harry Bauld book</p></li>
<li><p>Do you meet with the high school counselor without your child present? NO - have not even met him yet</p></li>
<li><p>Have you helped your child find a job? NO - but have asked some physician friends about possible shadowing opportunities</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think I will have to "copter" a little around deadline time...D has had procrastination problems in the past...not looking forward to that...</p>
<p>Guilty ("yes" to 6 of 9), but I agree w/ mafool.</p>
<p>1- serach web sites: yes
2 - influence courses: no (but insisted that at least 3 of her 4 courses be confirmed, when she thought ok to be on wait list for 3 classes).
3 - plan activities: no
4 - prep for interview: yes
5 - direct contact w/ coach: yes (coaches asked to speak w/ me, hoping I would "push" thier respective schools).
6 - review publications: yes (I will, after all, be paying the bill)
7 - write essay: no (but will assist)
8 - meet w/ gc w/o child: yes (if D or gc requested it)
9- helped kid find a job: yes (what's wrong w/ "helping?")</p>
<p>I agree with Mafool, and long ago decided I am more of a satellite mom. I tend to provide the "big picture" perspective; point out potential obstacles, impediments and/or alternatives for any path my daughter may be considering; and am available to provide any "telemetry" she may desire. I can't swoop in and rescue her from situations of her own making, but I have tried over the years to provide her the tools to avoid the need for rescue.</p>