Could you Grade my SAT essay> :]

<p>Hey could you guys grade my SAT essay and give me feedback, particularly on how to improve and what about it works.</p>

<p>Prompt:
Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Response:
Throughout the long journey in which we know as life, one strives to grow with knowledge and ultimately use that knowledge to enhance and improve our prospectus in the world. It is truly necessary for the educated mind to be able to discern what something seems to be from wha tit actually is. Many times, one would need to gather more information to have a better, more perspicacious view of things. One can see that the Iliad, the cold war, and the Life of Pi fosters examples where people see things differently from what they actually are.</p>

<p>In the epic, the Iliad, by Homer, Hector, a proud, zealous, Trojan warrior fights courageously to repel the Achaean forces from plundering the city of Troy. For a while, Zeus, the most powerful god, brings glory to Hector, giving Hector the feeling the Trojans were destined to win the war. In reality, Zeus was planning to bring his adversary, Achilles, victory over the Trojans. Hector, not knowing he would fall to Achilles, engages in a one versus one melee combat, leading to his demise. Thus, Hector's pretentious mind showed that one's perception of things may not equate to what is really happening.</p>

<p>Through the actions of the United States, we can also see how people react when they perceive things that are not true. In the Cold War, the Soviet Union and the USA held an arms race, trying to topple the other using threats and voicing their achievements. One, such event, was the Russian launch of Sputnik, a satellite the size of an automobile into space. The Americans viewed this as a threat, that the Soviets were ahead in technology and have the possibility of toppling the democratic giant. In response, the US put considerable effort into the first human landing on the moon. This feat required vast amounts of resources, something that could be used in altruistic ways. As tensions between the two countries lessened, it became clear that the Soviet technology was not as advanced as the USA's. Therefore, the perception of great technology due to the launch of Sputnik shows that someething that seems to be may not actually be what it actually is.</p>

<p>After careful analysis of SPutnik and the Iliad, one can see that what something seems to be is not always the same as what it actually is. If people gather more information before making assumptions, we could make better predictions or perceptions of the world and how something really is.</p>

<p>Thanksss</p>

<p>Personally, i would take out the sputnik argument(doesn’t seem quite strong)</p>

<p>and put in a wishy washy story about how my friend betrayed me in the 7th grade. or something.</p>

<p>It can be made up, but pathos has a much better chance to raise your scores.</p>

<p>Overall, not bad though.</p>