Could you guys please edit my essays for Wisconsin-Madison.

<p>Sorry if they are long. </p>

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<li>The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?</li>
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<p>While searching for colleges, I was looking for what all students ask for, a university with top notch academics and a social life; and I have come to discover that the University of Wisconsin Madison is the embodiment of such an institution. After doing an abundance of research, I am fully confident that your university is the perfect match for me, not just because of the University of Wisconsin’s qualities but also the fact that I believe that I will flourish as a student and that my characteristics will enhance your school.
To be frank, I do not contain any tangible talents such as being athletic in sports or a gift in arts or music. However I contain to two essential qualities that I believe are substantial for a person to have, a work ethic and a compassionate heart. I have inherited both of these traits from my parents, who have worked their way from poverty in Somalia. My parents was an extremely hard workers when they were in school, and just like them I would be left disappointed if I did not receive the highest score possible on something. A specific example of my work ethic was in my junior year. I was scheduled to take the ACT test and a month a half before I took a prep exam that my school provided. I was frustrated at the end result, however I was not discouraged. I then spent around 50 hours preparing for the test, scoring six points higher than the prep exam, proving to myself that I can achieve any goal if I pushed myself.
The second quality I contain is that of a sound heart. I firmly believe that one of the most important things in life is to be kind to people, and that the world will be a much better place if everyone lived by that idea. In junior year, I’ve spent thirty five hours in key club just because I was provided the opportunity to help people and the community, whether it is teaching a child how to read or cleaning a local park. An ultimate goal of mine is to directly impact a third world country. As a Somali American, I am saddened to know what kind of state my home land is in. For years Somalia has been ridden with war, famine, and disease, which has had a devastating psychological impact on hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people. As someone who is interested in psychology, my dream is to open a psychological ward in Somalia. My hope is to help alleviate trauma, since know living creature deserves to go through what many people go through on a daily basis, and helping people in the community of Madison is a step towards that dream.
A work ethic and a compassionate heart are the reasons why I believe that I will flourish academically and socially at Madison, and I hope your institution take my traits into account.</p>

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<li><p>Tell us about your academic goals, circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance, and, in general, anything else you would like us to know in making an admission decision.</p>

<p>As you review my application, there is something that I would like the admission staff to know. I have recently been diagnosed with ADD inattentive type, a disorder which has caused me trouble at school and life in general. Even though I have maintained a fairly decent grade point average, it is not as high as I would like it to be. It was always a goal of mine to have a perfect or near perfect GPA, but my condition has prevented me from achieving my full potential. Before, my diagnosis, I was left frustrated in my inability to focus in class and in my work outside of school. There were also times when I would study hours for a test, only to receive a grade that I was not satisfied with. I have stayed hours before and after school to see my teachers in hopes of fixing my problem, but that only helped to a limited extent. The thing that frustrated me the most was no matter how hard I worked, I was never satisfied with the grades I received. During a visit with one of my teachers, I was advised to see a doctor. It was at this point when I learned that I might have a learning disability. After receiving tests, I was told by my doctor that I most likely had ADD. Initially this was difficult to take, mostly because I felt that I was making excuses for myself. However, I accepted my doctors offer to receive medications to aid me, which turned out to be the right decision. I have noticed the effects almost immediately when it comes to life in and outside of school. It was as if I have been in a dark basement for all my life, and now I finally received light to make thing easier. I am happy to say that this term I have received excellent grades so far and I anticipate an upward trend of my GPA for the remainder of the year. As for my goals, I have high aspirations for myself. As of right now, my main interest of study is psychology, because I find the human mind absolutely fascinating. Ever since I was a small child, I was always interested in the reason why people did things. Because of my interest, I have decided that I would like to pursue a doctorate degree in psychology or in neuroscience after I’m done with my undergraduate studies. I am looking forward to working extremely hard to reach my goal, and if I am fortunate enough to be accepted into your University I would like you to know that I will work as hard, if not harder, as anyone who will walk through those doors.</p></li>
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<p>Good luck to you! Your essays look good. In the second one, when you talk about being in the dark basement, you ought to say that it was as if you “had been” in a dark basement…now that you’re in the light, so to speak, thanks to your medicine. </p>

<p>When I was in your shoes, I applied there too, and (thank God) was admitted. I didn’t attend there, however, due to the costs for OOS tuition. I hope you get in and get to attend! It’s a great school.</p>

<p>I just read it right now and released that I had a lot of grammatical errors, geez I’m happy that I didn’t wait to the last minute to write them.</p>