Could you guys please grade my essay ?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>I took the Sat once in the June and only had a score of 8 for my essay. so Im practicing right now. could some one read and rate it ?</p>

<p>Qs: Do the disagreement necessary for success ?</p>

<pre><code> Everyone has his/ her own idea of the importance of disagreement. While some people believe that conflict is necessary for development, other disagreed and said that it just cause the anger and makes things worse. In my opinion, I think the latter is more preferable. Several examples from present and history clearly demonstrate my point.
Through the action of people in the world war 2, it is proved that disagreement only has bad effects and makes our lives worse. Because of disagreement, germany and some countries like Japan started a war with victory countries in the world war 1. they created many dangerous weapons: nuclear bomb, for examples. They also took many people from the their own lands to join the army. The war could be seen as a disaster with a foible result: more than 10 millon people died, many ares were completely destroyedm which made the government spent billions dollar to repair the damege.The world economy decreased rapidly, the society of each country was messed up. Just because of some benefits, some aggressive countries made a war, which had a virulence effect, that we had to take many years to recover.
Football is anothern example proving that th contentous is not really needed for the development. Take chelsea fc for example. In two season 2003-2004 and 2004-2005, it was the champion of PL and was one of the best team in the world. But after 2005 season, the coach, mourinho, had disagreement with team’s owner-abrammovich and some important players of club so that these players didn’t listen to him any more. They played badly. In the end of the season, the team didn’t win any cup. Mourinho was fired because of the disagreement with abramovich and the hold team.
To sum up, I think that the disagreement wasn’t need for sucees. It also can cause many bad results. In paragraphs above, it created a war which lead to many bad consequences and it is the main reason made mourinho fired and chelsea played worse. So although sometimes we still must disagree with each other before coming to progress, I think we had better reconcile the problem as soon as possible.
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<p>I got the same score :/.
Okay first-- check your grammar. Also, your intro: “Everyone has his/ her own idea of the importance of disagreement.” I think this sentence is pretty vague, and doesn’t really introduce your solid view on the topic. Even if it’s not true, pick offensive or defensive, not in between. Get some specific people, and maybe a quote or two.</p>

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<p>Before I say anything, I’m only a rising senior, but in my defense I scored a 10 on my SAT essay and I got a 5 on AP Lang. First off, the grammar needs work, but I’d imagine that may be due to mistyping it, which is understandable. Also, a quote or some more detailed historical references would help. Also, you change verb tenses which can make the difference between a perfect essay and an almost perfect one. Not something major if its done once, but multiple times could result in a lost point. Expanding more on your points is key as well, even though it can get very difficult with time constraints as anyone who’s taken the SAT knows. You may also want to try implementing more varied sentence structure with things like semicolons, colons(you actually used a nice one specifying weapons in body paragraph 1), and dashes because it’s one the graders look for on the SAT, just as they do on the AP. Finally, an intro more original than the “many examples in the present and history” would give your essay more strength. Overall though, you had a good concept and with some simple changes you can make your writing pretty strong.</p>