Grade My Essay Please !

<p>The claim: “Disagreement leads to progress”</p>

<p>Disagreement is a necessary step in the path of progress. Disagreement is a fundamental cause for the exploration of all the options and possibilities confronting us. Claiming that any good can come out of disagreement (which is generally perceived as detrimental) is regarded foolish at first glance. I will try to illustrate with examples how the claim is true.</p>

<p>Consider the severe fuel and energy crisis the world has been facing for over a decade. Current sources of fuel and energy are nearing depletion and the world is in dire need of alternate sources. Which is the most pragmatic alternate source? Is it not because of vehement disagreement on the matter that we have explored various options to such an extent. Today we already have highly developed techniques to harness nuclear energy, solar energy, wind energy, etc. and a lot more research and development is underway.</p>

<p>Another example that vividly explains the claim is the situation that arose when Acer computers was founded. One portion of the board was of the opinion that only laptop computers should be produced (as they thought that was the way of the future) while the other side wanted only desktop computers to be produced (because they thought laptops were too expensive for the common man). Eventually Acer produced both laptops and desktops. Today they have a significant market share of both laptop as well as desktop segments.</p>

<p>Provided that both parties are open-minded and think clearly with progress as their ultimate goal (not personal gain), disagreement can definitely pave the way for progress in the fields of science, technology, social sciences, humanities and every other field.</p>

<p>and before you ask......yes i did make up the example</p>

<p>The introduction is very much a chain of blabber that has no real transition. Both examples are not elaborated, so the thesis is not really being supported. There is some structure however, so you get points for that. It's fine if you make up an example, scorers don't care; it just matters if you can reasonably justify your thesis with it. The conclusion does provide some analysis but no recap. I'd give this a 7ish.</p>

<p>Bump.....
wow ... i thought it would get 8-9.....guess i need to work on that</p>

<p>I second Stupak with the critique and the grade.</p>

<p>I would give it a 8-9. Search for my topic. I had a real essay graded in May and got a 9 which probably didnt deserve that grade. THe thing is you don't use the best examples... use examples from history and literature. They are ALMOST always better.</p>

<p>i would give a ten because i wrote an essay worse than that and still got an 9</p>

<p>It's fairly good in terms of your usage of proper vocabulary, grammar etc...
However, you need to give more examples and let the reader know that you thoroughly understand what you are talking about.</p>

Could you give me another examples for the the same assignment ?!