Currently I’m missing 3 questions out of the whole Writing section on the official SAT practice exams
I want to post one of my essays (this is from my second practice test) and would really appreciate feedback
I’m aiming for above a 750 on Writing but I would love an 800.
Aiming for at least a 10 essay score
I consider myself a good writer, but with the time constraints I don’t think I’m very good at all:(
So some constructive critism is much appreciated, and feel free to call my essay awful if it is!
Here is my essay written copied exactly how it was written within 25 minutes:
Many people believe that our government should do more to solve our problems. After all, how can one individual create more jobs or make roads safer or improve the schools or help to provide any of the other benefits that we have come to enjoy? And yet expecting that the government—rather than individuals—should always come up with the solutions to society’s ills may have made us less self-reliant, undermining our independence and self-sufficiency.
Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
" The issue concerning the level of government involvement is debated frequently. Should American citizens be more self-reliant, or should they put their trust in the government and sit back as mere observers?
The answer can be easily derived from history. The American people must be actively involved in society before expecting any prodigious progress.
Most of the time, answers to questions can be found by simply looking to history. When the 13 small colonies were founded, the colaboration of all the people was to thank. The people had their own personal dreams for this new country, and they worked hard to fulfill those dreams.
If the formation of what is now the United States was left to the government, there would be a different America today.
History shows that working together as a people has developed the country we know today.
The American citizens have always had strength in numbers. Would the civil rights that African Americans have today been possible without the joggeranaut of the civil rights movement? That is a daunting question. People cannot rely solely on the government to fix all of the numerous, diverse issues. Citizens possess a passion for change that the government does not. It was the yearning for freedom and the indignant attitudes of the people the galvanized such an iconic movement. The enthusiasm for change comes from people, not the government.
Independence. That is the word on which the American ideal stands. Citizens need to go back to their roots, back to the self-reliant “get it done” attitude. The government will always be a necessary force of society, but there needs to be an equal and allied force derived from the citizens. Once that force is rejuvinated, change will come with ease.
“We the people” that is the motto. Combining the knowledge of history, the passion of the people, and the cooperation between government and citizens will make a better tomorrow."
I’m just terrified that I’m completely bombing this, that’s why I came here.
Thanks for your feedback!