<p>I am applying to the College of Arts And Sciences, but my major is "Undecided," so I wasn't sure how to write an essay about that. Did I take this in the right direction? Is it missing anything? Does it have too much of anything? I am open to hearing any advice; thanks so much! </p>
<pre><code> My academic pursuits have always covered a broad spectrum of interests. Growing up with parents who work in the mathematics and laboratory-science fields, I was naturally encouraged to follow the same path. While I have found some level of satisfaction learning Algebra and Chemistry, I am heavily inclined towards the study of literature and reading. I find expression of oneself through the English language to be thoroughly fascinating and even beautiful. An author can bring a reader to laughter or to tears with his or her words. A lawyer can prove a man’s innocence if he or she has the verbal proof. A psychologist can be therapeutic merely by listening to a patient.
Cornell University has a plethora of opportunities that I plan to take full advantage of. I am confident that the emphasis on a liberal arts education will enhance my experience. In addition, Cornell’s program coincides with my intellectual interests and fields of study. Because I am currently undecided as to what exactly my major will be, Cornell’s undergraduate advising staff will be of great benefit to me. The College of Arts and Sciences at Cornell also provides undergraduate students with a number of ways to add on to a basic undergraduate education. I would consider utilizing the independent study/major features, in addition to studying abroad. Whatever I decide to do, I believe I can get there at Cornell.
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<p>You haven’t talked about “fit” at all. You did mention the undergraduate advising staff, but honestly, this essay could be used for any college. What specific programs do you want to take part in at Cornell, academic or otherwise?</p>
<p>So it’s important to Cornell that I know a lot about their programs? Because right now, I don’t, but if that could help me, then I could go research some information.</p>
<p>You don’t need to know a whole lot of info…it’s just that this seems like one of those generic essays that can be sent to any college just by changing the name of the institution. The question isn’t just what you want to accomplish as an undergrad, it’s also how Cornell specifically will help you achieve your goals. You can study abroad/get advising help anywhere, you know? But why Cornell?</p>
<p>Honestly, I like your first paragraph, but not so much your second.</p>
<p>The use of plethora sounds completely forced and like a pick up line some girls heard a million times. I cant really remember if I used those same kinds of words when I did mine (nor can I find the Cornell supplement), but it sounds so forced there its painful.</p>
<p>The rest of the paragraph doesnt help. You are making short statements. Strung together. Each making a separate and unrelated point. About why you think Cornell is good.
(see? Very ugly form of writing, though admittedly exaggerated, your use of felt more like a stop than a pause to the flow [like right there].)
In addition to being very broken up, everything is a very VERY generic statement, not just about how you view Cornell vs anywhere else, but how everybody else views Cornell. Many people come here with little clue on what we want to do, and alot of them probably think having some option out there for study abroad is nice too if we can convince ourselves to step up to it. The point is, this really doest strike me as anything that would stand out. If anything, it seems very generic from not only you, but also to Cornell, at which point you can just be labeled as one of those, which likely isnt a good thing.</p>
<p>From what I DO remember writing, mention what areas do interest you in the A&S, and why. You mention reading and literature, but what about Cornell makes that appealing? Do you have any other side interests that Cornell can also cater to that other colleges couldnt? One reason I came here for Computer Science in engineering was because I also wanted to study some bio, for which Cornell had strong programs in both and made it easy to take what I wanted. You can argue many colleges are perfectly good for lit and reading, but you should be saying why Cornell, and not just feeding them the generic “because of all these great resources you offer, just like every other college Im applying to”.</p>
<p>Of course, this is very harsh, but an honest critique of what I think.</p>
<p>I’m applying as undecided to A&S and wrote a story that had to do with art history. I think a specific story that shows, rather than tells, your passion for something academic is a good way to go.</p>