@dragonmom I have the same exact thing happen with my voice! Just happened yesterday when I was recounting to my husband the bridal shower gift. It also happens to me sometimes when I am a little nervous, like speaking in front of a group. Like just asking a question while seated in a group of people, not actually standing in front of people. Drives me crazy when it happens, b/c I don’t feel nervous, but something just changes in my voice and I have no way to control it.
When my husband and I first married, I never saw him cry. Since then, there have been several occasions, some of them in public (like speaking to a group of people about something meaningful to him), where he’s gotten choked up. And even more recently, there have been a few times we’ve watched something on the news that is sad or heartwarming, and I could tell he was getting emotional. It’s like over time he has become more outwardly emotional at sentimental things.
I cry at the drop of a hat. Happy, sad, or when I’m angry. I hate that I cry when I’m mad. I just want to be mad…… no tears, but it’s impossible. Then when the tears come it just makes me more mad. What a vicious cycle.
I had a supervisor, who I guess, didn’t believe in emotion. I cried at work after my father passed away. Then I had an incident involving my child and family that was quite devastating the time. My supervisor didn’t think I should be handling it the way our family chose to handle it because it required me scheduling a half day off work. When my supervisor and another co worker (both whom I thought were friends) literally trapped me in an office yelling at me that I was causing problems and how dare I take the day off and yelled at me for trying to tell them they didn’t understand, I cried. I cried a lot (stress of what was happening in my family, being attacked and accused and the betrayed and lack of support from so called friends)
I got written up for that day, for crying and told I cry too much at work (the only other time was when my dad died)
The supervisor then went to the boss above her and told him I was “emotionally unstable” and deserved further punishment.
Luckily, the higher up boss did not agree but my entire work environment changed that day. 20 years of friendship with co workers and when I needed support during a difficult scary situation they turned on me. I cried a lot during that time.
I work with almost all men. The downside is that nobody cries. The upside is that nobody can follow me into the ladies room when the need hits.
Edit - my dad will never forgive the principal who made a crack when we had to have his favorite cat out down. He called in for half a day of work and she quipped “it’s just a cat.” Ooh boy. He will hate her until he dies. And note that H has almost 300 sick days. He NEVER EVER calls in sick.
I guess we grew up in the same era, @Youdon_tsay - this brought back memories, as did @Lindagaf’s selections.
Ahem…since I clicked on this thread, I better fess up. I rarely cried growing up and in early adulthood but fatherhood has made me a bit more emotional. I now can get choked up for various things - learning about the passing of classmates (sadly, a few have already passed), relatives, and older colleagues, reflecting on my D22 growing up, coming across cruelty (particularly to children), seeing something sad or touching on TV (such as this), etc.
I guess I am similar to @Htas and @4kids4us’ husbands - at least I am not alone!
Yes. I’ve had some awful things happen to my family this year, and I probably cry multiple times a day. They are things I need to get through (not “over”) but it won’t happen for a long long time. In the meantime I am giving myself the grace to let my emotions flow when they want to. Most of the day I’m fine. Random things will trigger it - the worst is when I’m not occupied, so I try to stay occupied as much as I can. Probably more than you want to know about me lol.
My daughter was distraught when we had to put down our dog. I let her Stay hame from high school the next day. When she went back, her male history teacher asked her where she had been. She told him about our dog and he said he had to put down a dog a few years earlier and was still very sad about it and would probably never get over it. I really appreciated the empathy that he showed to her.
I had an awful work environment where my supervisors were questioning me taking leave to visit my dying father. I was also dealing with parenting three special needs adopted children, one who was a chronic run away and drug addict. No one cared about my problems. I cried a lot at work before I finally resigned.
Im a manager now and I try very hard to be understanding of my staff’s personal issues and allow them to take leave when life gets difficult.
I’m a weeper. It doesn’t take much to make me cry a little bit. Reading about people doing something very kind, thinking about my 13 year old dog dying (I know she won’t live forever - what will I do without her?), sometimes thinking about my kid flying the nest. Books make me weep. Not so much movies? Not sure why. The imagination is worse/more drama than the screen? Other people don’t make me cry. They make me mad!
I weep a lot less than I did pre-menopause. I actually feel A LOT less emotional now. But that said, I resigned from my job early April and have had some family stress and I cried alone on the beach in the early morning every day, last week during Spring Break. I have legitimate things to be sad about and it felt good to get it out. And frustration, tears of frustration are a thing.
Our chorus did a patriotic set and there was one song that everyone was "I’m NOT going to cry. I’m going to get through this! No tears! " Tough to sing even though we loved the song. Pulled all the heart strings.
I was teased a LOT in elementary school for crying. Even teachers made comments. By 4th grade, I was on my 5th school. Ah, the Army brat life. My teacher that year, an Army spouse, was the first person to show compassion and help me find other ways to express my emotions. Thanks, Mrs. Borg!
In general, now I’m not a big crier. Haven’t cried over deaths in the family, but I still cry over our previous dog, who passed away five years ago.
Work used to bring me to tears, but I learned to wait til I got in the car before turning on the waterworks.
I’m supposed to participate in our synagogue’s Sisterhood Shabbat this coming Friday night. The coordinator told me today the theme is Ukraine. OMG. Just rip my heart out and be done with it. I hope she sends me whatever I’m reading soon so I can cry in advance. Of course, after services, everyone will want an update on ExpatS.
One year they gave me a piece about persevering through major illness. Didn’t know in advance. Cried the entire way through.
If I’m blue and need a good cry, I put on my Dan Fogelberg. Quilting also is a good release.
May is a very tough month for me, and this year includes major anniversaries of life-changing medical events. I’m trying to be gentle with myself this month.
So sad to read the stories of bosses and coworkers not respecting needs to deal with serious family situations.
Some of you have read over the years about how my tech job prior to retirement was just awful due to the need for offshift work, middle-of the night page-outs etc. However, gotta say that my boss (in Europe) and coworkers (mostly in other countries) were FANTASTIC when I needed time off and flexibility when dealing with Mom in hospice in the last 2 months of work. We all had a “Family First” attitude for important stuff at home, jumped into action to help each other as needed.
I very, very rarely cry at “real life” events such as funerals, weddings, sad news but show me one of those clips of a parent coming home from deployment and surprising their kids - Oy Vey - I well up in an instant. Sometimes before the actual reunion.
I was a kid when my mom told me I was “too soft hearted” and my brothers made fun of me for crying. I didn’t cry for years until my senior year of HS and my dad was the only one awake with me in the middle of the night and I will never forget how he was so kind talking with me and not shaming me.
I cry now- at very emotional or hurtful things. When the incident at work (which gutted me ) happened 5 years ago I cried all the way home. I cry at TV commercial or sad news stories. I am not ashamed of this.
I will never understand why crying is seen as a weakness or undesirable. To me it’s a display of personal emotion. No one else gets hurt by one’s crying!
When my Mom died I didn’t really cry. Over the next few days I was so busy making arrangements, buying funeral appropriate clothes for my 3 young kids and making arrangements to fly home, then the viewing and funeral and I still didn’t cry. Afterward we went out to dinner with my brothers and their families and my aunt, uncle, cousins. I started thinking about how much my mother would have loved to be there, and how afterwards she and I would have talked about what everyone had worn or said, and I started to bawl. And even today I cry when I think about that moment.
I also cry whenever someone is celebrating an achievement. I don’t really follow sports but if someone is on tv celebrating a world series win, superbowl win, olympic medal, etc. I start to cry. Same with the kids getting awards at my kids school, college acceptances, etc etc. I just tear up. It’s so weird. Like their happiness is my happiness. And moreso with people I don’t even know than with my own children.
I used to cry out of anger or frustration but as I’ve gotten older I don’t do that much anymore. I think “this too shall pass” has finally taken a hold.
I don’t disagree, but I guess the question is can one be TOO emotional?
I think we can all think of situations where crying is an, “appropriate,” response. The death of a loved one stands out to me. Though some have indicated that they don’t cry in those situations. And, while someone such as myself might not cry at things that others do, I don’t view it as weak or undesirable. But, I might see it as concerning if it were excessive or constant?? Perhaps that is judge-y of me. It, of course, begs the question of when is crying appropriate and how much is, “acceptable.” Which is likely a can of worms.
Sometimes I view my own crying as weakness or undesirable I am trying to say something (maybe in the middle of an argument), but I can’t get my point across for crying. But in general I think crying is a lot better than yelling.
Anyone remember that Seinfeld episode with the understudy to Bette Midler? And, how she cried when she dropped her hot dog or her shoe came untied but didn’t cry when she received the news her grandmother died?
