<p>When my parents divorced, my father agreed to pay 1/2 of my college tuition. Problem is, he just won't pay it for completely arbitrary reasons. He is a statistician for a major university, but is a "volunteer" worker who claims that he hasn't made enough money to pay taxes in years. I haven't spoken to him in about two years due to issues leading up to said divorce, but he's taken my anger as a sign that he's absolved from any responsibility towards me. He doesn't even pay my child support, but he's taken my other two sisters to an ashram in the Caribbean. Currently, he's in India studying crazy spiritual things on behalf of his university.</p>
<p>I recently transferred from Tulane University to Claremont McKenna and have a good financial aid package--no loans, baby!--but it's hard for my mom to pay off on her own. (I have two sisters in private school, and they're the kind of kids who would be lost in the public school system. They have really good financial aid, but that plus me in college=ouch on mom's wallet.) At Tulane, my dad basically told my mom that because I "didn't love" him, he didn't have to pay my tuition. </p>
<p>The crazy thing? Despite how much better CMC is in terms of research, rankings, and money per student (and how much happier I'd be intellectually there), he thinks that a small liberal arts college isn't as good as a big research university. Judging from a year at Tulane, I'd say the "research" really didn't matter.</p>
<p>Other, completely unrelated question: last year, I made a good chunk of money working part-time from January until August. At Tulane, however, I was on workstudy and subsequently my income decreased; I also used the money I did make over the summer on my tuition. This summer I'm also doing an unpaid internship with a part-time job that's going towards defraying my cost of living. (To be fair, this internship is pretty important for my future goals and probably for the state of Louisiana.) how do I communicate to the financial aid office that I'm not saving as much as I was able to last summer?</p>
<p>Try to visit Dad and talk about your issues; you may have to quietly accept some of his criticisms. Maybe all he wants is for you to speak to him?</p>
<p>If that isn't working; is the "agreement" to pay half tuition part of a legal document? Then you and your mom should see an attorney about how to enforce it.</p>
<p>DS- some parents do use money for power- he has the power to pay or not; you have the option to choose; you can make up with him, to whatever degree nesc in order to have him pay or you can choose not to do that. Only you know whether it is worth toeing his line to have the college stuff paid for, but try to be unemotional and do a sort of pro & con with the options and make a choice, knowing it is your choice and you can live with the consequences. I have a very close family member who chose to toe the line in a comparable situation and has regretted it ever since- this case involved the major and the grad school options, but still 30 years later he still wishes he had done what he wanted not what he was told to do, even though it seemed the logical choice</p>
<p>Muffy--yes, the agreement was part of the conditions of the divorce. I don't think my father has any respect for the law or for legal proceedings. The only way he'd listen to the law is if we had him arrested, and even then I don't think he'd continue to pay. I have the feeling that he's mentally ill in some way--he's a Vietnam War refugee.</p>
<p>Somemom--CMC is my dream school. The way things are working out right now, CMC would cost the exact same amount of money as Tulane, and my dad would just have to pay his share to CMC. Unfortunately, my dad is the kind of person who would love to stomp all over my dreams for no apparent reason.</p>
<p>If your father is actually employed by a "major university" (and not a "volunteer worker," whatever that means), then you may be entitled to attend his university with a substantial tuition discount.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I haven't spoken to him in about two years due to issues leading up to said divorce
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It sounds like you decided to butt into your parents divorce issues and make judgements. Your sisters didn't. I'm pretty sure we aren't getting the whole story here.</p>
<p>"He is a statistician for a major university, but is a "volunteer" worker who claims that he hasn't made enough money to pay taxes in years."</p>
<p>Has your mother's lawyer looked into this one? If he truly hasn't made enough money to pay taxes, then he probably doesn't have any money to help pay your college tuition with either. It may be that he has chosen this salary dodge in order to avoid paying child support and tuition that was in the divorce settlement. There won't be much you can do about it if that is the case.</p>
<p>You may be better off simply looking for a college/university that you can afford without his "help". It might not be your "dream" institution, but it could make your life a lot easier in the long term.</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>
<p>You don't need to "love" someone to "use" them. This is your LIFE we are talking about here. Let go of your pride for a couple minutes and tell him whatever he wants to hear. ACT, PRETEND, whatever you want to call it. Act like you love him (maybe you do, but if you don't act like you do). Have an emotional breakdown. Make him believe.</p>
<p>A win, win.</p>
<p>If you love him: Problem sloved.
If you don't: You just tricked him, and got your way. Can you say owned?</p>
<p>Now I know everyone is going to be thinking; How can you say that? But look, do what you have to do to get ahead. This is how the world works. Not always, but in many cases. </p>
<p>This is all up to you, of course. No one can tell you over the Internet what you should do. I really wish you he best of luck though.</p>