<p>Finally read through this entire thread and started a new account for purposes of anonymity. I’m seriously glad we skipped over that terrifying Conservative/entitlement debate very quickly…</p>
<p>Kudos to the people who have mentioned that dating is mainly a matter of compatibility, although I do think it’s important to be able to live in an environment where there are people who look like you and understand you based on race. </p>
<p>My biggest problem will probably be compatibility. I’m worried that I would unintentionally limit myself, as I am looking for someone with similar interests, as well as a nice personality and some background similarities. I’m not necessarily a unique snowflake, but it’d be nice to find someone to obsess over Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino, Sufjan Stevens, Fleet Foxes, The Killers, and various different bands and types of music with me. I can’t tell if this makes me picky or not; probably does. </p>
<p>I just feel like we’re all individuals who are looking for particular (not necessarily rigidly specific) things, and that’ll be our biggest problem. Race will probably be an issue too though, as we will be very underrepresented at these colleges. This obviously lowers the chances that we’ll meet the “right person.” I’ve done a fair amount of college visits and so far I’m not too optimistic. I’m possibly attending a top five school in the fall and as a romantic at heart, I’m pretty worried things won’t go well. We’ll (possibly) see!</p>
<p>@beyond I’ve only of The Killers from that list,I’m not much into rock if its older,80s is as far as it gets for me but not heavy metal.</p>
<p>@Curious You are not the only one that likes the oldies better! My brother does too but he doesn’t listen to rock,he just thinks the rap and R&B nowadays just isn’t the same or as good as it use to be. It took me a while to realize that but I feel any genre nowadays kinda sucks.And that dubstep/house music is an instant headache!</p>
<p>Idk if the majority of us on here are ladies but I know way more that listen to rock than I do of guy friends,unless they’re non black but maybe that’s just my area.</p>
<p>A person doesn’t necessarily have to be into the same music or movies or anything but should show an openness and appreciation of other art forms.</p>
<p>As I get older, I appreciate the skill more than the sound. I can appreciate genius in rap, rock, classical, jazz, anything. Some folks are closed off to new things which makes it hard to have a relationship with folks like that. Think about it. If meet your perfect match who happens to also be a closed person, if your tastes ever change at sometime over the 25 years, that perfect match may be unwilling to budge now you’ve grown apart.</p>
<p>Ideally, you’ll meet someone with whom you can grow together.</p>
<p>If a guy/girl doesn’t get your tastes, ask them to try it out, attend a concert or whatever it is. If they do, even if they don’t like it, and find things about they can appreciate - thats a good person. If they instantly love it, whatever it is, they may be phony or horny or real but you have to figure out which it is. If they hate it and can’t fathom how you like it at all, that fish can go back to the sea.</p>
<p>What is mainstream rap? With the advent of social media, the line between mainstream and underground rap has been blurred. </p>
<p>Would you consider OFWGKTA mainstream? They’re very popular, but they’re not played on the radio, and their content differs from that of most popular hip-hop artists.</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m a huge rap fan, old school, new school, conscious, ignorant; just a lover of the art form.</p>
<p>@Madaboutx
I think the importance of having common interests is so that you can spend time with that person enjoying those common interests (not that all the time you spend will be revolving around said common interests, so open mindedness is good and important). It’s definitely important that a person is open to other art forms, but if a person says “Yeah, I don’t like this but I can appreciate it or see why people like it.” how do you expect to enjoy concerts or venues or even car rides home if you want to hear country and person B wants to hear dubstep (which you definitely don’t want to hear)? I just want to be able to go to a concert with the person I like and know that him and I both are enjoying ourselves and actually want to be there. After exploring each other’s interests, I want to be able to build upon those interests instead of stopping at “That was nice but I don’t like it.”</p>
<p>And of course, you don’t need to find a twin to be happy with a person. I just think it’d be nice to be able to enthuse about a certain band or album or be willing to attend a gig, which is hard to do if you appreciate it but don’t actually like it. </p>
<p>@similo- Are you a Childish Gambino fan? Just wondering! :)</p>
<p>I can’t say that I’m a fan, but I respect the hell out of his grind (rapping, acting, and producing). The guy is talented, and I’ve actually heard quite a bit of his material. Just didn’t find his subject matter/voice/production particularly appealing. I have enjoyed a few of his songs, though (Unnecessary, Bronchitis, and probably some others that I can’t think of right now).</p>
<p>Oh god, I hate mainstream rap SO much! And the fact that I’m around it constantly doesn’t help me case lol! I’m into all types of rock, pop, and dubstep. I do listen to some rap, but it’s rare…</p>
<p>In regards to dating:
I want a beautiful girl who is just as intelligent as I am. Those are my two main concerns. I am a science/history/music/aviation/law (I get into philosophical law battles with my brother everyday, and win :D)/medicine nerd and I like to talk politics, so I would absolutely love an intelligent girl. Race doesn’t matter at all since I converse with people of different races everyday at school. Finally, I want a girl who is accepting. I am a fat, sometimes awkward person who just needs somebody I can really connect with to get over my weight problem and occasional awkwardness</p>
<p>I think it’s very interesting that mainstream/radio (and most) rap gets attacked a lot for its lyrical content. And I’ll admit, the content isn’t necessarily the best. But then when people say “I don’t listen to rap, I listen to Artist A,” an artist that sings about partying or some un-creative, typical love ballad on top of a catchy beat, I’m really not that impressed. Ke$ha really doesn’t produce lyrical genius either and isn’t decent justification for why you don’t think Kanye is appropriate. Talk to me when you justify avoiding mainstream rap lyrics by appreciating the lyrics of Bon Iver, haha. (And btw, alexissss - I probably missed an s - and anyone else that hates mainstream rap, I’m not attacking you at all, just contributing!) And at the same time, there is some rap that is just…bad. Disappointingly bad. </p>
<p>@FutureDoctor31 How beautifully put. Intelligence is important to me, and I (among many people, probably) struggle with hoping there is someone out there accepting, too. I really want to find someone who thinks I’m attractive after years of not feeling very attractive. Add that to the fact that apparently many AA guys at top schools date outside of their race or aren’t interested in black females and well, things aren’t looking too bright. </p>
<p>And by the way, beware of anyone who might tell you “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful/handsome!” Why can’t you be both? Not one or the other. Just saying. Also, try Macklemore (I recommend the song A Wake), you might like his kind of rap!</p>
<p>@Beyoncebetwice Lol@disappointingly bad! When I saw that, I automatically thought of Future, Waka Flocka Flame, Gucci Mane, Trinidad James, etc</p>
<p>And I’m pretty sure that you’ll stay beautiful in the coming years. I don’t even know you and I’m pretty sure that you look great because from my experience, a lot of times it’s the prettiest girls that worry about how a guy will perceive them in the future. This is because they are attractive now and will think that age will decrease their beauty. I am attracted to AA girls, but the problem is that there are not many intelligent ones where I live. I live in a predominantly black suburb of Philadelphia, PA, and not many blacks in this area are as focused and driven as I am. To meet a black girl like myself would be truly great! And I may be fat, but I know I’m handsome. I don’t really care about what anyone says because I know that I’m attractive (In the face, not the body).</p>
<p>Personally, I love me some Gucci Mane, Chief Keef/GBE, Bricksquad, etc.</p>
<p>And lyrical content is not as important to me as it is to many others. What matter most IMO are the manner in which the subject is approached and the actual sound of the music. Guys like GZA made Shaolin shadowboxing sound cool, and he has an album on the way in which he plans to discuss the universe. Kool Keith has always had somewhat unique album concepts. The Eshams and Necros helped popularize the horrorcore subgenre. Even newer artists like Tyler the Creator have made entire songs detailing sexual assault and murder - it’s all about the approach/originality.</p>
<p>Anyway, on the dating front: I’ve never really met any black girls who knew of even half of the artists I listen to regularly. So I don’t really go into a relationship expecting that sort of connection. It’d be nice to be able to share music interest for a change, though.</p>
<p>A band I think many of you would enjoy is Kids These Days. They blend hip-hop with rock and blues. They kind of remind me of The Roots, and have even cited the band as one of their biggest influences.</p>
<p>Sorry, I’m getting carried away with the music here…I’ll stop now.</p>
<p>Get carried away with music. It’s awesome.
Also, my biggest thing about lyrics is simply the fact that music associated with a certain race (and rap is, lets be real) can have a large impact on the perception and influence of that race. Songs like Birthday Song is just so unnecessary and adds to a sexist and misogynist culture that needs to die. There have been many studies on the influence of rap on black culture and the black population (but I won’t cite them, as they can be really sketchy and flawed, ect. ect.) But the impact of rap culture and certain lyrics probably belongs on another thread. Also, it’s 3am.</p>
<p>I think it’s important for anyone in any relationship to be open to a variety of different experiences. I love to cook and to eat; I definitely wouldn’t want to date someone that is terribly picky. But I’m no judge, it’s just a preference. I listen to a good amount of rap still, more hip hop stuff than anything. Some frank ocean. Some little Wayne. Some Weeknd. I’ve also started listening to a lot more Christian music as well.</p>
<p>Oops. I think I came off as picky. I just think it’d be nice to find some common ground. And not limit ourselves to whatever shared interests we have. Music is important to me and it’d be nice to find a fellow fan of certain things is all. :)</p>
<p>@beyonce
No worries! I know what you mean. I know kids who are all “Lil’ Wayne sucks” but they obsess over Justin Bieber. Lulz So I must agree.
Yup.</p>
<p>@future
I know that feel. Even though I’m in ATL (well, close to it anyways), I have met any black guys as ambitious as me. And I’m not even that ambitious or smart. Lololllllololo
Maybe I’m not looking hard enough. xD Come to think of it, I haven’t met any AAs (not Africans and stuff) who obsess over education like I do. Male or female. O___o</p>
<p>Has anyone thought about what all this means? Really means?</p>
<p>I’m a dad so I’m looking at things from a different perspective perhaps more philosophically.</p>
<p>I see a huge monopoly on thought and behavior in the black community seemingly dictated to it by pop and urban culture. Sadly, it’s mostly shallow and discourages deep thinking or innovation in ideas. I’d love to see immensely more thought diversity and choice diversity among Blacks but have little idea how to get young people to rebel against the prevailing culture.</p>
<p>But you guys here on CC are the counter-culture types I hope my kids connect with more. It’s can be very frustrating being Black and different in your habits of thought.</p>