<p>The way i see it is the payment tells you whether it's a date or a platonic outing. If the guy pays, it's a date; if you split the bill, it's purely platonic (if it was the guy who suggested the activity).</p>
<p>As for which gender makes the first move: So far I've always been the one to make the move, not the guy. You just don't go on dates (at least not ones that involve real money) so problem solved.
Here's how it worked when I was with a guy from another college: As for how we pay for things, since we're poor college students: he gets me food from his college for free (since it's free or almost free for him), I get him food from or near my college for free (since/if it's free for me to do so).</p>
<p>A lot of really good advice in here, esp. Russell7. </p>
<p>I hooked up first day of the semester w/this chick I was texting a lot over break. We went to a coffee shop, she paid for her drink and I paid for mines. We talked for about an hour and a half. It went really well. I'm seeing her again today.</p>
<p>I'm somewhat traditional. I don't mind paying for my own food if it's an informal date. We're just getting to know each other. However, if the relationship becomes serious, I expect the man to pay up, even showing courtesy (opening doors, doing small tasks, escorting, etc.). It's my way of knowing he wants me in his life. Girls, there's nothing wrong with being treated like a princess!</p>
<p>
[quote]
why would you even go to a movie for a date... unless you've been dating for a while and then it isn't even considered a date, just hanging out.</p>
<p>and alternate paying for dates if you've been dating a while, or split it. if not, each pay for your own ****.</p>
<p>my "dates" usually don't involve buying more than a coffee (if anything) so I avoid the issue entirely.
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</p>
<p>Maybe because I'm kinda traditional, but not paying would make me feel uncomfortable.</p>
This sort of expectation system disgusts me and usually starts an argument between the person and myself if we're alone; I refer to people pigeonholing themselves into bisexist chains and euphemizing sexism by calling it "tradition". I suppose you treat the person like a prince(ss)?</p>
<p>That is the same kind of asinine mentality that makes girls think that "oh you opened the door for me, because I couldn't do it myself?"
I see nothing wrong with chivalry and just having some manners. Manners and being polite are the glue of our society. I don't see what's so terrible about treating a lady like a princess. Maybe I'm just out of touch...</p>
<p>And its not like I'm saying I pay and tell them that's how its going to be. At least offer, make an attempt and if she is so opposed to it, so be it, split the bill. However, i am just as happy to pay.</p>
<p>As an aside, that is where I really do appreciate living in the south now.</p>
<p>It's not well-mannered to call default autoconservative egalitarianism asinine.
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I see nothing wrong with chivalry and just having some manners.
[/quote]
I see nothing wrong with being kind, but you can open doors for persons who are male as well as persons who are female. What I will hardly stand is behaviour unnecessarily dictated by the presence of a ***** or a vagina and a contrived complex. Some define Chivalry in egalitarian means; I won't make assumptions about how you define it.</p>
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[QUOTE]
I'm somewhat traditional. I don't mind paying for my own food if it's an informal date. We're just getting to know each other. However, if the relationship becomes serious, I expect the man to pay up, even showing courtesy (opening doors, doing small tasks, escorting, etc.). It's my way of knowing he wants me in his life. Girls, there's nothing wrong with being treated like a princess!
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</p>
<p>I agree with this. At the beginning, it should be split pay. When it gets into a serious relationship, then one person paying is fine.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm somewhat traditional. I don't mind paying for my own food if it's an informal date. We're just getting to know each other. However, if the relationship becomes serious, I expect the man to pay up, even showing courtesy (opening doors, doing small tasks, escorting, etc.). It's my way of knowing he wants me in his life. Girls, there's nothing wrong with being treated like a princess!
[/quote]
</p>
<p>So, he's paying for you to treat you like a princess? Wow.</p>
<p>I'm so glad that my girlfriend has always wanted to split the cost of everything.</p>
<p>why is it ridiculous to expect to be treated to your dinner or movie ticket when asked on a date? it doesn't have anything to do with gender roles--it just has to do with courtesy.</p>
<p>you're asking someone out..it's expected that you'll pay for the date. if i ask someone out, i'll pay, too.</p>
<p>I'm the kind of girl who simply feels more comfortable paying for myself. I can understand how at a restaurant, it would be awkward when the waiter comes and you say "Separate bills", but usually my 1st dates are casual, just coffee or hanging out. </p>
<p>Then if you're dating for a while, and the person is your boyfriend, him paying for dinner one night and you paying the next is fine, because you're already in a relationship.</p>
<p>As for holding the door open and little things like that, I think it's polite. Not that I would think less of a guy if he didn't hold the door open for me, but I notice it when they do. It shows he's a polite, well-mannered guy...nothing wrong with that. I don't think that's a "princess" mentality.</p>