Dates.

Student Lounge College Life
41

<p>if a guy asked me out on a date & then didn't offer to pay for it, i'd be calling one of my girlfriends promptly afterward and we'd laugh at him..
i agree with russell, though, that casual dates like coffee are best at the beginning, but sometimes something a little "fancier" lets the girl know you're definitely interested, which is a nice feeling. </p>

<p>bottom line: whoever does the asking should pay.</p>

42

<p>You should phase shift during the date to show your're interested.</p>

43

<p>^
Dota much?</p>

44

<p>The contentious girls are saying that that whoever does the asking should pay, and therefore it's all good and fair.</p>

<p>That's ostensibly reasonable, but Russell7 pointed out how social forces get in the way.</p>

<p>But what exactly is wrong with the system that Russell7 and I use: no matter who does the asking, each person pays for him/herself? Like the girls' way of doing things, this is fair per se; but the difference is that it's impervious to social disruption.</p>

45

<p>What's dota?</p>

46

<p>lolol, dota is a warcraft 3 custom game and phase shifting allows you to dodge spells.</p>

<p>phase shifting in PUA is when you go from negging and doing "tests" to showing that you are really interested in a girl with various scenarios.</p>

<p>Anyway, I always at least offer to pay on the first date. I think it's kind of rude to invite someone under the pretense that most people pay on the first date if you don't expect to do the same. You guys should read the book "The Red Queen". We're reading it in my Human Sexuality class and it's really interesting.</p>

47

<p>go to a nice beach or forest and avoid paying from any side.</p>

48

<p>
[quote]
go to a nice beach or forest and avoid paying from any side.

[/quote]

Just make sure you bring a blanket.</p>

49

<p>Ha Ha Ha! I’m laughing with you all. I’m too old to get in to this discussion, but… I will. Be kind to the mature lady with your comments. Let me say this, all your fine points go out the door, when you meet that right person. You would pay, you would ask 1st, you would walk in a park, leave your friends to do nothing but be in the moment with that person. When it’s the right person, its magic. It’s double magic when they feel the same way back with you. But, continue your discussion. I love listening to all your opinions.</p>

50

<p>
[quote]
Ha Ha Ha! I’m laughing with you all. I’m too old to get in to this discussion, but… I will. Be kind to the mature lady with your comments. Let me say this, all your fine points go out the door, when you meet that right person. You would pay, you would ask 1st, you would walk in a park, leave your friends to do nothing but be in the moment with that person. When it’s the right person, its magic. It’s double magic when they feel the same way back with you. But, continue your discussion. I love listening to all your opinions.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>you have 4 billion posts</p>

51

<p>^ Apparently... CC says he/she posts "26,828,695.10 " times per day...</p>

52

<p>
[quote]
if i ask out a guy, i offer to pay. he accepts or declines.
if a guy asks me out, i expect the same courtesy. </p>

<p>this is hardly a princess mentality.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Hey, makes sense to me. Russell, you assume that girls don't ask out guys.</p>

<p>It depends on the type of people you're into and the type of people you end up dating. What works for you might not work for somebody else. My relationship with my bf works well because he likes taking care of me and I'm used to being taken care of. It has nothing to do with my gender, it's just how I was raised. I'm a spoiled only child, he's a first born with two younger sisters, so we're compatible in that sense. When I want to pay I just fight him off or pay without him knowing until after I bought the movie tickets or something.</p>

53

<p>catsushi, you are so right. If two people are happy, others who haven't reached that status shouldn't be telling them what they are doing wrong! hahaha</p>

<p>And if it's the first date, do something cheap so you can offer to pay because you are a generous soul and don't feel the need to have everything equal out in the world. And if your date offers to pick up half, you can either suggest that he/she gets the next one or go ahead and let the person pick up half. Dates are all about looking for mutually satisfying experiences so if you aren't having fun then find a new approach.</p>

54

<p>
[quote]
Russell, you assume that girls don't ask out guys.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>actually I assumed that they don't usually, which is true. Chicks will send hints and provoke the guy to ask, usually. I really don't see how who asks is even significant.</p>

55

<p>
[quote]
Chicks will send hints and provoke the guy to ask, usually.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Hahaha that's true. I tried asking out guys, but usually it freaks them out, so I prefer this technique instead. It works for me, most of the guys I date prefer to think that they were the ones who took action first.</p>

56

<p>


I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...</p>

57

<p>well, she certainly wasn't messin' with no broke, broke....</p>

58

<p>Like pretty much everyone else has said... don't go to a movie for a first date. You don't get to know each other, and it just turns out awkward. BUT if you do happen to grab a movie, I'd say whoever initiated the date should pay for tickets, and the other person should get refreshments. It turns out almost even, no one has to take on the whole amount, and there's no awkward arguing about how to split stuff.</p>

<p>If you're going, say, out to dinner, then I guess I'd usually expect the guy to pay the bill but the girl to pick up anything extra- say, ice cream or coffee afterward. </p>

<p>On the first "official", "formal" date, girls usually appreciate the gesture of the guy paying... it's traditional and romantic, and shows her he thinks she is worth it. After that, switching off or going dutch is probably best.</p>

59

<p>50/50 has worked for me so far.</p>

<p>We're in college, and parents are the source of money. Why should my parents pay for her, and why should her parents pay for me?</p>

<p>In fact, 50/50 is a very useful screening method for me when dating. I won't waste time or money on girls with a feeling of entitlement. Nor do I have to. The 50/50 relationship has so far lasted longer than any of the others. It's a relationship firmly based on equality, and it's amazing. It's like dating a female me. We have the same standards and expectations... just a great feeling... I don't know how to explain it.</p>

60

<p>Whoever asks should pay. But the person who got asked should OFFER to pay, but the person who did the asking should kindly reject the offer.</p>

<p>But if a girl did the asking and she wants to pay, LET HER PAY or else she's not going to be very happy.</p>

<p>I would really suggest hanging out with the girl/guy first, before actually going to the movies and stuff. And if you dont want to pay then go as a group and make it seem like not a date(?). Besides, movies are the worst place for dates, you barely talk in them so you wont get to know eachother better. Go somewhere else, go walk in the park or hiking, idk some kind of activity where you can bond with the other person.</p>