So I am a 32 y.o. at the U. of Okla. and I am interested in dating this girl I know, which shes around 19-20 y.o…I guess what I am trying to ask, is how should I go about talking to her and asking her?
Big age difference at this point in her life. Do you have any shared interest that you can discuss?
We both love history, being in the outdoors, going for walks down the streets, going on road trips
but I really don’t think its that big of an age difference
Huge age difference at that age. If it were my daughter, I would discourage it, recognizing that I can’t control who she sees.
Are you both undergraduate students?
yes @intparent I really don’t think it’s that huge @suzy100 @TQfromtheU
It is pretty large. My ex-H was 11 years older than I was, and it was really like being from a different generation sometimes. Plus, she may view you as really old. You can ask her out, but take no for an answer if that is what she says, and assume things may get generally awkward if you still have to spend time together.
In responding, I thought back to when I was 19. As a sophomore, I would have expected a 32 year old man to have had much more life experience and would have treated him like my dad. If she is seems interested, invite her to an outside activity.
@intparent I guess it depends on how you look at it, but I understand what your saying. I’ll ask her out and if she says no, I’ll go after another girl and get to know her and see if she’d like to go out.
@TQfromtheU at 19, I never treated someone in there 30s as if they were a parent figure lol, to me, they were my equals, so I didn’t really have to mind what they said, I understand what you’re saying though but I guess it’s different with people.
Stop this bit about the age difference. Whether this works out is an outcome, not relevant to the man’s attempt. These are two adults. Don’t judge.
OP, if you want to date her, find an activity that you would both enjoy, confidently ask her to join you in that activity and mention that you thought it would be a fun venue for a first date. Keep it light, keep it fun. You don’t want to spook her with any serious stuff (don’t bear your soul with your unwavering love), but you want to make it clear that it’s a date where you potentially have a romantic interest, so there is no misconception that you are going as “just friends”.
Not so much as a father figure to me, just not a dateable peer. She would have to be a very mature 19-20 year old. Look for women, not girls. if you want more dates.
Lots of times 32 year olds have different agendas than 20 year olds, too. A 32 year old may be looking for something more serious and long term.
@intparent I’ve heard that before, but I believe there’s a difference between hearing and seeing. I’ve seen 18-20 y.o.'s have an agenda and they carried it out pretty well with people they were dating and the people they were dating were older and I’ve seen 30 y.o.'s do the same with people that are younger. I really just think that it doesn’t matter with age, people are gonna try and take advantage of you no matter what, people are gonna have agendas, you just gotta make sure they have a good agenda. @TQfromtheU Thank you @ClassicRockerDad Thank you for the advice
half plus 7 rule. Are you very wealthy? The only girls I see dating outside the half plus 7 range are interested in sugar daddies.
As a male, of course you would think that 19 year old would not see a 30-year-old female as a parent.
I think because you are 32, your priorities are different than a 19 to 20-year-old female.
In most states, you cannot take this person to a bar, and have wine or drinks because this child has not turned 21 yet.
As the parent of two young women, who are a little bit older than your target date, I would object to them dating a 32-year-old male.
It just sounds creepy; this is my opinion, as a parent of two young women.
I also have a 21-year-old son. My son has lots of friendships with young ladies, his age, in his classes. The young ladies are very mature at his school, but he wouldn’t even think of dating a freshman because he thinks they’re too young.
So I’m wondering why it’s so hard for you to find a woman, closer to your age, that has similar interests, musical tastes, a similar maturity level, and someone who can enter a bar without being carded.
Well @“aunt bea” I’ve known females to go after older men, to me there’s nothing wrong with it and quite frankly the reason behind that is, at 18 you can join the military and die for your country, so I see nothing absolutely wrong with it. I took @ClassicRockerDad advice and she said yes, so me and her will be going on a date this weekend. But if you want to believe that it is something wrong and that there is something wrong with me because Im wanting to date a younger ADULT peer in my class, well then, I guess I don’t fit your “stereotypical” what a guy should be
Outstanding! Have a great time!
Wow! Impressive, keep us updated on how things go.