Dating Nightmare!

<p>O my god was that awful. Ok, heres the deal, I have been friends with this girl for a while and after hanging out last weekend (she lives 45 min. away) I told her I liked her via text message (I know) and she said she felt the same way and so I talked to her like 3 times this week for a long time (screwing myself for tests and quizzes), not cuz i really wanted to, but because I figured thats what i am supposed to do! So tonight I spend like 2 hours in traffic to see her for our 'date'. So we eat dinner (flirting the whole time), and then go to a movie, where she proceeds to say, "You know this is not a date, right?"<br>
What is wrong with women?!!! How can you give soo many seemingly crystal-clear hints and then do that?</p>

<p>okay, so you directed me over to this thread after i presented the girl's side of this problem in the "High School Issues" forum.</p>

<p>but notice that I did not generalize and say "what is wrong with men?" ;)</p>

<p>i agree that you were pretty crystal clear about your feelings, but most guys aren't and i'm frustrated at the moment. It's actually kinda weird because he's younger but he's mature and smart so it's not as strange. Anyway, we talk about stuff that doesn't really need to be talked about or find each other to talk about stuff that doesn't really matter</p>

<p>but i might just be retarded, that possibility always exists.</p>

<p>is this "hard to get" thing actually worth ANYTHING? it seems a little stupid... just BE there</p>

<p>No its not worth anything. Being straight-forward can be the best thing to do...if you are sensing that the feeling might be mutual.</p>

<p>Looks like you were just hit with a weird situation. It's always hard to decipher between someone flirting and someone just enjoying time with you. And there's nothing wrong with women! :)
I just think there's a very fine line and it's always hard to tell</p>

<p>Yeah but I wasted so much time and energy on this... I guess there's nothing I can do now. Expect maybe join the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy...I wonder if they need a fantasy football expert.</p>

<p>Just use the ubercollegeman method and swear off girls until your last app is turned in.</p>

<p>:)</p>

<p>Funny... I actually had a REAL dating nightmare... I just woke up. <em>shivers</em></p>

<p>LOL, ubercollegeman.</p>

<p>I agree, if everyone was straightforward, life would be a lot easier.</p>

<p>Tenacious J, maybe she just got scared (of relationships) for one reason or another. It could be that she is as into you as you perceived but that maybe having an official boyfriend scared her and that comment was like a defense mechanism of some sort.</p>

<p>On the other not so nice hand, maybe she changed her mind.</p>

<p>yeah i think you are probably right myway. i guess sometimes we don't want to accept the truth.</p>

<p>Don't worry, it's part of your biology. Men are more likely to interpet friendliness as attraction.</p>

<p>You should've replied "Of course not, what would ever give you that idea". Then proceed to tell her you would never date anyone like her, etc, etc.</p>

<p>Haha I basically said that...except for the part about never dating anyone like her. But I was definitely thinking that part.</p>

<p>Mtmomtok, that sure would have saved face, lol. But that would just be playing games, not good.</p>

<p>Out of curiousity, how did you respond to that, Tenacious J?</p>

<p>Well I was rightly caught off guard and puzzled. I'm not sure exactly what I said, but I know that I tried to act understanding and compassionate. But what I really wanted to do was just yell "are you f'ing kidding?" Good times...</p>

<p>... because you think that EVERYTHING that girl did was some sort of a "hint". She goes out with you once and you think, "Oh my gawd, we're perfect." You can't have had that meaningful of a relationship after ONE not-even-a-date. Honestly.
You have to stop reading into the situation. Maybe she was just trying to be nice. Maybe it had nothing to do with you. Maybe she has been dropping I-don't-like-you "hints" the entire time and you didn't pick up on those because you were too busy paying attention to the I-want-you-now "hints". Maybe she wasn't even aware that she was dropping "hints" at all. Maybe she just wasn't attracted to you, but was trying to spare your feelings because she knew how hurt you'd be. Think about HER point of view before you degrade all women and say "What is wrong with women?".
It's not a "dating nightmare" if it's not a date, either. And if you consider one girl telling you "this is not a date" a NIGHTMARE then you really need to get out more.</p>

<p>Dinner and a movie. That's a DATE. That's like a third date, in fact. Just ask her out again. "Would you like to go out for another not-date?"</p>

<p>Holy crap, this thread got revived. Please die already! And thanks, GretelHW. You expect me to lesson to your points after you call me "stupid?" I'm kinda over this whole thing anyways, but feel free to fire away with your belated insults.</p>

<p>Sounds like a case of Napoleon Dynamite. Settle this with her like a true man, don't talk to her until she wants to become friends again.</p>