<p>There are now many books being written on the hook up. I don't see college kids dating anymore. I think we have lost something very important. The need for real intimacy is well documented. Have we lose our souls to the quick hookup? The lack of dating is fallen way off even in high school. I think this affect our very well being on a human level. What do you think?</p>
<p>Ummm.....because hooking up doesn't require loads of preparation and zero commitment?</p>
<p>short attention spans</p>
<p>College is already a stressful environment and time of life. Dating takes time, commitment, and energy, and for many students, those are lacking.</p>
<p>it's like fast food vs. sit-in dining..
i don't want to go through all the parallels but i think you can see some</p>
<p>You don't have to date to have intimacy.</p>
<p>i prefer dating, thanks.</p>
<p>i'm not so ridiculously horny that i can't wait until i get to know the person...</p>
<p>dating hasnt disappeared for those who like dating...</p>
<p>haha seriously...</p>
<p>I imagine the people that want to just get some and not bother with dating back in the day also did such.</p>
<p>I know plenty of people who are in relationships or at least dating around, and not hooking up. Most of the people I know are like that actually. If I could get a date/boyfriend I would rather that than randomly hooking up with someone. I do have a friend with benefits but we haven't done anything in several months just because; I got kinda bored with it.</p>
<p>Having guiltless, unattached casual sex in college = college kid
Having guiltless, unattached casual sex in your thirties = scumbag, loser</p>
<p>It's the last opportunity we have to really have fun, so....</p>
<p>We've been talking about this in my sociology class recently. I have a few theories on the subject.
First of all, in the past, a girl who associated with many boys was not considered "nice." Dating allowed her to meet boys that she might eventually want to pursue a relationship with. Now, girls and guys can be strictly platonic friends and hang out one-on-one without the girl risking her reputation. With the advent of coed dorms in colleges, Tim and Sarah can hang out in either of their rooms on a Friday night watching a movie and getting to know each other better without the assumption that they are "together".<br>
Also, college has no longer become a place where people go to find their future spouse. Pressure to do well in preparation for careers and grad school has become the focus for our generations. Relationships do exist in college, but fewer people do the sort of thing where they graduate from undergrad and get married right away. I see college turning into a place for friendship and networking, (and the occasional hookup if that's what you prefer), and dating has become what you do after you get settled in "the real world."</p>
<p>I never thought relationships could be so time-consuming before I found myself in a long-term one.</p>
<p>Hooking up can be fun, if you're interested in that sort of thing. Here's a thought: if you go to a huge school where you are less likely to run into people unless you seek them out or have some sort of connection to them (be it friendship, having a class together, working together, etc.), it can be harder to track down that cute guy or girl you ran into the other day and found yourself attracted to.</p>
<p>And what about scheduling conflicts? Schools that run on a 4-1-4 or quarter schedule don't exactly facilitate dating. I mean, think about. You two just met, dated for 4 months and after 4 months, you're already involved in a long distance relationship. Even if it's just for a month (or 2 1/2 in school's like Dartmouth where you can take random terms off), your relationship may not be strong enough to pull through. </p>
<p>Actually, I think dating DOES exist in college. What I've noticed is that you're either practically married or randomly hooking up or not getting any at all. Now which of those 3 options sounds the most appealing to 18-22 year olds?</p>
<p>*I never thought relationships could be so time-consuming until I found myself in one.</p>
<p>I'll third that, though I'll also mention I never thought I could actually enjoy talking with someone on the phone for at least an hour every night because we only see each other three or four days a month.</p>
<p>Looking back over the 2-part question I asked in the original post was “why don’t we date and what has been lost?” Have we lost anything in not getting to know someone before jumping into bed with him or her? The first part of the question has been addressed, but not the 2nd part. I guess we all feel too busy to date? I’m surprised no one brought up money. That was always the reason I would hear.
I cannot imagine anything more powerful or intimate than sharing my body or my power with someone. I don’t think I could do that with anyone I didn’t know. I’m not conservative, however I just cannot be that intimate with someone I don’t know. I love to talk to people and get to know someone. Those minutes flying into hours and hours into days, when you have that connection. It is like no other feeling in the world. Don’t get me wrong dating is not really my forte. However, I think it is a worthwhile process. There is logic to it. Whoa! I think I’m out on the limb here by myself. Have we lost anything by not subscribing to the process of dating?</p>
<p>Also, hooking up is just more honest. It allows the guy and the girl to meet based on physical attraction and nothing more. Dating is to pretend that personality counts, when it doesn't. </p>
<p>We're in touch with our inner hedonist.</p>
<p>^^^ If the guy or the girl just want to have fun instead of relationships.</p>