<p>I didn’t know what SEC was either and didn’t realize it was such a big deal- probably like the USC/UCLA rivalry…</p>
<p>Well…I would say the rivalry might be more fierce, and this really doesn’t have as much to do with the rivalry than her totally doing a 180 and following a boy to his school. Ask her six months ago and she would not even consider stepping foot on the UA campus! I know there are much bigger issues we could be dealing with, I just hate to see her change for a boy (even though she denies this) - especially when it’s done on our dime.</p>
<p>If you have really “raised her to be her own person”, then you should respect her decision. Sounds to me like you are pushing for Auburn AND for her to rush. Maybe it isn’t just about the boy… maybe she wants to get away from the “family legacy” of attending Auburn. I have a nephew going through this decision with Michigan & Michigan State (also big rivals). We are a Wolverine family through and through. But no one is pressuring him; he is the one who has to be happy with his decision in the end. I suspect he is leaning toward the Spartans. And we are all okay with that.</p>
<p>OK-Girly- I am from Alabama- big Alabama fan -daughter got in Auburn but she wants to go to BSC- her boyfriend is there so i have been thru th same thing- asked around -what to do- do I tell her No and deny her a good educatioon-they have to figure all of this out themselves… Right now she is IN at Auburn and Alabama but does not want to go to Bama- we will pay deposit at Auburn and hope that she makes the right decision.</p>
<p>At least the BF goes to a solid school – could be worse.</p>
<p>Don’t be too surprised if you see her 180 again before the spring deadline.</p>
<p>I second going with her on a tour. Since it is your money, you do want to see the best of what the school has to offer.</p>
<p>The issue with her being her own person, means not following a boy around, and making decisions based on what she has been dreaming and talking about her whole life. In less than 5 months she has done a complete 180 after meeting/dating this boy. I never have tried for force her to rush, we have talked about it because so many have said its a great way to meet new friends. After she said she didn’t want to, that has become a non-issue and it has not been discussed anymore. As for the whole Auburn thing, yes, we are fans and a legacy (husband), but the real issue here is that is what she has wanted to go there for as long as she could talk. To see her change her mind so suddenly is what is so shocking. I have encouraged her to look at other universities in the area also, only to be shut down.</p>
<p>I totally agree with why you are objecting. You hate to see them make such an important decision based on something that probably won’t last. I think the boyfriend/ girlfriends also get in the way of forging new relationships/meeting new people. Those first weeks living on campus are so important in meeting new friends and fitting into the campus. Other kids will not want to compete with a boyfriend and will stop asking her to do things. If the relationship later does not work out, then it is always more difficult to meet new people. Unfortunately (having been thru this) there is not much we can do as they don’t listen to us anyway. Our kids cannot fathom that we may have been thru this and actually know what we are talking about. My daughter did later admit that is was a big mistake for her to spend so much time with her boyfriend ( he was at a different but nearby campus) and that if affected her other friendships her first year. Of course at the time, she would get huffy and storm off if we suggested that it might be a bad idea. Sorry you are having to deal with this!</p>
<p>Second (third? fourth?) the idea of doing a tour. </p>
<p>We had a similar issue as the SEC rivalry, only the Texas version: UT vs. A&M. We’ve been lifelong Longhorn fans, and at one point, ds said UT was his one and only. Because of the top 10% rule, we encouraged ds to consider other in-state public Us as safeties. He was invited to an overnight honors program at A&M. I told dh, “Don’t roll your eyes or say a word!” Imagine our surprise when we all left campus extremely impressed. And even though ds got into both schools, he much preferred A&M over UT. His final two choices, in fact, were between a faraway LAC and A&M. He ended up choosing the LAC, but I was thankful to have learned what a great place A&M was, despite what I’d heard all my life. ;)</p>
<p>I don’t think okgirly is pushing her daughter to do anything…let alone rush…give it a break. Her daughter has had no interest in a school until a boyfriend was there. Her mom’s concerned. Don’t turn this into the ‘daughter is trying to make a step outside her mother’s overbearing shadow’. Give ‘mom’ a break. She asked for advise, clearly said it wasn’t about the boy personally, and quickly said two deposits and a deep breath were a decent idea.</p>
<p>By the way there is a difference between Alabama and Auburn. They are not just those southern schools in the SEC. They do have strengths over one another. They are not interchangeable in all situations for all students. The rivalry between the two is arguably the hottest in the nation. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.</p>
<p>Thank you so much blue. You hit the nail right on the head. I am not trying to be an overbearing mother and we are about to make a HUGE investment in her education so I think we have a right to be concerned when such a dramatic change occurs so quickly, especially when we will be the ones writing the check. If she was paying for all expenses, she could do what she wants. The sorority thing is a non-issue as far as I am concerned since I was never in one it doesn’t really matter to me one way or another. We had just heard it was a great way to make new connections. And it certainly does not have anything to do with the boy as he is a great kid with a great future. We are only concerned with the sudden change of heart as far as where she wants to attend college. I was simply asking for advice on how to handle this and most of the posters have given me great information.</p>
<p>takeitallin: Your post is exactly the reason I am concerned. Sounds like the same situation and I have the same fears and have a feeling it might have the same result. I guess my daughter will have to find out the hard way, or things may work out for them. They are so young and it’s just hard to watch if things don’t work out the way she hopes.</p>
<p>Have y’all done a tour of Bama?</p>
<p>Youdon’tsay: We have not had an official tour yet (have one scheduled in November) but have been there many times for band competitions, field trips, visiting friends, etc. I am familiar with the campus but not as a guided tour. I worked in the University Alabama system for 5 years so very familiar with all things Alabama as far as the universities go.</p>
<p>I was just thinking that without an official tour you could ask dd, “How do you KNOW you prefer this school?” 
</p>
<p>But also, seeing it might make you feel better about her “decision.” I think the most important thing is to let her know that you want what’s best for her and that, right now, that means keeping ALL the options open, kwim? The minute you run down Bama – for whatever reason – is when she’ll dig her heels in. So better that you and dh look like the reasonable, mature adults you are and show that you’re willing to consider what she says she wants. </p>
<p>Are finances an issue? Could more money at Auburn be made an influencing factor?</p>
<p>Taking her on a tour is awesome. Be positive in things you like, honest but to the point about comparisons about the schools. If you have not been on a formal tour of Auburn recently, then I suggest you ask your daughter to consider going for comparison. If your daughter has a chance to go to an accepted students day at each school make sure you do.</p>
<p>You are in the great position that you do have two acceptances in hand. You are in the difficult position of being in a holding pattern, or waiting game. For now, just sit tight and let your daughter run this through her mind. This may play out on it’s own with the ‘life-span’ of the relationship with the young man. It may change as her friends make decisions on college. If you are in-state classmates may be deciding on Auburn as well. This may influence her. You never know when a friend at school may point out 'What? 'Bama? Are you crazy? Changing your college plans for a BOY?!? I would NEVER do that…it’s so lame!! Peer pressure can often get kids to do things parents can’t…open their eyes. :)</p>
<p>Finances are always an issue. I have a son that will be graduating in December of this year from UNA, and then almost immediately, a few months inbetween, she will be starting to college herself, so of course we aren’t getting much of a break on college expenses. So far she has not had any scholarship offers and probably won’t get any with a ACT of 24 and a GPA of 3.65 at either university so it will be us footing the bill unless she gets any outside scholarships and she has been applying. We are open to the official tour just as we would be at any university. So far she has toured Middle Tennessee State and Auburn (when she was going into her original major - her dream major- Animal Science). I have tried to get her to tour Troy and Mississippi State, but since they started dating, I have been getting turned down on any other tours.</p>
<p>“Are Auburn and Alabama really more different than, say, Harvard and Yale?”</p>
<p>Yes, I think they are more different than Harvard and Yale…but Harvard and Yale are so similar that that’s true of almost any pair of schools.</p>
<p>Okgirly: Does your daughter plan to retake the ACT/SAT? She would need a 28/1250 to qualify for the Honors College at Alabama. I’m wondering if she also fell in love with the honors housing there. Much of the newer housing is for students in the honors program, and as my son, who is in his second year at Alabama says, the housing often sells the school.</p>
<p>Hopefully you can convince your daughter to tour Mississippi State. My son, while he loves being a student at Alabama, has given his kid brother (who is only a HS freshman) permission to tour Mississippi State, because it is such a lovely campus.</p>
<p>I agree with you about Honors housing. The times she has stayed with friends it has been there. Her boyfriend is also in Honors and it’s very nice and she has been very impressed. She may have an eye opener coming to her when she gets there and she ends up in one of the older dorms and there won’t be anything we can do about it. She does plan to retake the test in 2 weeks and she is studying for it this time so there might be a little hope of bringing it up 4 points. She has a great GPA, but that’s not all they take into account. I am hoping that I can convince her to tour Mississippi State soon as I have heard it’s a great campus and it has many equestrian clubs, which is one reason she was talking up Auburn for years and her former desire to major in Animal Science.</p>
<p>Ahhh, the housing! 
Auburn’s super-suites had my son doing a ‘what the heck?’, as opposed to the housing he’ll be sharing at any of the other schools on his list. It is one of the unique features of the Honors College that he wouldn’t have elsewhere. I will say Alabama has a lazy river pool. My husband noticed that and thought there was no way he’d get to class! He’s going to college, not a theme park!!</p>