<p>We have paid our deposits and have our room selection date. My son found a potential roommate at his school. He has been “95% Bama” since January. But he never actually ruled out going somewhere else, and I think doubt has started to creep in. He appears torn and really doesn’t know what to do. It’s between Bama and a smaller Catholic university in the Midwest (so his choices are complete opposites). He’s not opening his mail from either place and doesn’t really want to talk about it. Maybe he’s depressed about leaving high school – LOL – I have no idea.</p>
<p>My pocketbook is pulling for Bama, but ultimately it is his decision.</p>
<p>I know that most parents on this forum are rah-rah Bama all the way, so I might as well be speaking Chinese to some of you. I’m just wondering if any of you have had similar experiences. In the end, I think he will attend Bama, but this process is excruciating.</p>
<p>What is the cost difference? I know that you’re saying it’s “up to the child” but a large difference would make a difference unless you’re quite affluent.</p>
<p>Slippy2K … While my D was 98% UA as well after her visit and CBHP acceptance, the fact that we were still waiting for answers from some of those “Top 50 Privates” was weighing heavily. She really wanted to go to Rice since we have relatives in Houston and she had fallen in love with the campus at William & Mary. Since she had her offers from UA and Tulane very early, it made the wait excruciating for all of us. In the end, the offers just didn’t compare from the others even though she was accepted, and she chose UA and has NOT regretted it since. I think it’s likely common to have that doubt especially when there are offers that are pending sometimes as late as April / May when the Privates release their acceptances. Rest assured the right decision will be made. As for the $$$, the way my D looks at it is graduating undergrad with no debt opens up way more options for Grad School … she’s a smart cookie. Good luck and Roll Tide!</p>
<p>Thanks. Yes, M2CK, it is SLU. He likes the campus, the people, and the Jesuit affiliation. They have offered him a sizeable scholarship, but there is still a big chunk left to pay. </p>
<p>Biology major… possible double major in Classics… not sure about med school. Part of me thinks he wants to teach. Not sure.</p>
<p>My D had a hard time making up her mind. She was choosing between similar schools (both state flagships), but even though she has a nice scholarship at Bama and nothing from the other school, the Big Ten school is much closer to home and has more of the weather she likes and is used to. Getting her to make a decision was an ordeal - she didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to make pro/con lists, and certainly didn’t want to do any planning one way or the other. I think it was a combination of ambivalence about leaving high school and being terrified of making the wrong choice (which with life’s experience I knew wouldn’t be a problem as she had two excellent choices). We forced a decision last week when a housing deposit would have been required at the other school, and now that it’s made she’s getting excited about Alabama and I’m not worried about a last minute change of mind. I do think an actual decision (as opposed to just coasting in one direction or another being pretty sure) is necessary.</p>
<p>mine had the same hard time choosing between two flagships, too. in fact, she kept wavering for three semesters!!! she is happy at alabama, but she still feels like she is missing out on something at the other school.</p>
<p>FWIW, our son’s “dream school” was USC (the one on the left coast). They offered him a very large scholarship that still left a big nut to cover.</p>
<p>At the end of our visit to Bama I asked my son if he thought he could be happy at UA and he quickly said yes, though his heart was still clearly set on USC. As parents we could not see any value added by USC that justified having to pony up the money and incur the debt it would have cost (in contrast to UA’s NMF scholarship package).</p>
<p>So, we put our feet down and steered our son UA’s way. He was less than happy. But last November, as I posted previously here, he thanked me and said, “Dad, knowing what I know now, if I’d been offered a full ride by every school in the country, this is where I’d want to be.”</p>
<p>I realize that this dynamic won’t apply to everyone, but I hope it offers some perspective to those in a similar position.</p>
<p>We made a second visit to UA last week. I was a tad bit concerned that I was setting ourselves up for a change of mind by doing so, but it just confirmed and strengthened her decision. She applied to 12 schools, and only has two decisions. UA was her safety that she applied to at our continued request. My husband and I were a little concerned at first that she had chosen UA solely for financial reasons (not that that is a bad reason…but she can carry the weight of the world on her shoulders sometimes). But she really loves Bama. </p>
<p>She was deferred by her dream in December and fell in love with UA at Capstone Scholars Day. Now she says that it doesn’t matter…even if she gets accepted by her dream she is going to Bama.</p>
<p>It is the biggest decision that they will make up to this point in their lives. Most kids go to the HS that they’re zoned for, or if they go to a private or magnet school, there are limited options. It’s hard to “know” what any of these universities will really be like & after having college built up for so long, well, what if they choose the “wrong” place? There’s often other things going on under the surface (nervousness about leaving home, what if I miss my friends, etc.) but it’s not always easy for a 17-18 y.o. to articulate. </p>
<p>If you follow along on CC for more than one admission cycle, you’ll see that most kids end up liking where they are by October of their freshman year, and that some of the kids who transfer to another institution were positive they’d made the right choice the year before. There’s always something at college A that is better than at college B. It’s kind of like house shopping: you’ve looked at a bunch of houses that are all in comparable neighborhoods, all good schools. But house A has a gourmet kitchen while house B has an exquisite master suite. House A has a smaller master bedroom but the cooking island is amazing! House B has a functional kitchen, but wow look at those walk in closets & shower stall with multiple heads. You really can’t go wrong with either house, but sometimes too many choices can paralyze, KWIM? </p>
<p>I anticipate a rougher decision making process for D2 next spring than we experienced for D1. D1 was the prototypical, step on campus once & “I love Bama!” kid. D2 is visiting UA tomorrow for her official visit and I’m pretty sure that it will make the cut, but I know that there are some smaller schools that she’s going to “love.” We’ve been open since the get-go about financial realities and there’s 1 or 2 that we could probably squeeze blood from the stone to make happen, but there has to be a document-able reason why. </p>
<p>D has made several visits to bama and all were great. Still a tough decision. Has not heard from dream school (did get invited to small 30 person reception in Aatlanta by northern dream school 2 weeks ago). She does have several great schools to choose from. I think BAMA fits her best. She gets full tuition at 2 other schools also that have higher USN rankings but they are not as student friendly as BAMA. At her school BAMA is a safety for most. High school admin does not seem to support their top students going to UA. I have toured most top schools and honors programs in the deep south and I think UA tops them all. Just have to convience d. ( or keep other people from unconvinceing her.) If she goes somewhere else It will not be because UA was lacking anything.–</p>
<p>I wish I had as many choices when I was her age.</p>
<p>For your son there could be a few dynamics going on…</p>
<p>He goes to a Jesuit high school, and there is likely some marketing going on for the students to select a Jesuit univ…totally understandable…the Jesuit high schools are sort of “feeder schools” to their univs. A similar thing goes on here with the diocesan K-8 schools marketing the diocesan high school.</p>
<p>Your son’s school is in NOLA, which naturally may have a bias against Bama due to LSU loyalty. So, your son may be getting some “blow back” from his social circle about going to “that school”. Imagine how it is at my kids’ high school…where typically about 15 kids go to Bama and 15 go to Auburn…(and the rest go to Catholic univs, UAH, UAB, or elsewhere). The “Roll Tide” vs “War Eagle” stuff goes back and forth. And, of course, the ones who are going to other regions in the country throw out their comments as well. The smack talk goes on for several months…but once final decisions are made, everyone accepts the others’ choices. </p>
<p>These kids are young and when they have stuff coming at them from all directions, they often want to crawl into a hole and hope the decision just goes away.</p>
<p>If this is what’s going on, remind your son that very soon much of this “stuff” will largely disappear.</p>
<p>Then there’s my kid. He and his classmates are largely choosing from assorted Ivies, Michigan, Duke, NYU, Binghamton, and the like. Friends look at him and go, Alabama? Seriously? Guidance counselor thinks he may be the first ever to apply from their school.</p>
<p>Chardo, same here. After much research last year, my son decided that even though he may be able to get into “top tier” schools, he would not be offered any financial incentives to attend. He became more and more enchanted with Alabama, and decided that he would not apply to another school. His guidance counselor almost had a seizure. If he does not apply to to schools, they can not put down that school on the school profiles. Had nothing to do with what he wanted or needed.</p>
<p>That was the situation for our son as well. He is the first top scholar from his school to attend Bama. His college guidance counselor, who was used to funneling students to the Ivies and other “prestigious” schools, could barely hide his disdain . . . until he visited UA. I’ve said this before here, and I’m not overstating the facts when I report he was blown away by the resources, infrastructure, flexibility, quality of curricula, personal touch, social opportunities, recreational opportunities, leadership, direction, growth, trajectory, and creativity he witnessed at UA. </p>
<p>Now he and his colleagues include UA on their list of quality schools that they recommend to top scholars. Seeing is believing. In my experience the UA of today is pretty much the antithesis of what the skeptics fear or mythologize it to be. And dare I say, I used to be one of those skeptics (just ask m2ck).</p>
<p>UA has shown more personal interest in the sucess of the individual student than the other programs we visited. The faculty seems to support the goals of the student in meetings we have had, some other places do not offer the option to meet and have personal interviews.</p>
<p>My daughter still hasn’t made up her mind 100% on Alabama! When she was accepted she was thrilled and still thinks that it is a great school. But . . . she is waiting to hear from the Univ. of South Carolina and won’t really talk about making a decision either way until she hears from them. </p>
<p>“And dare I say, I used to be one of those skeptics (just ask m2ck).”</p>
<p>ha ha…and since I save all of my PMs, I could probably dig a few up for old times sake…lol</p>
<p>jk</p>
<p>Malanai…your son’s GC is to be commended for actually being willing to come all this way (from Hawai’i !!!) to see for himself…many wouldn’t have bothered.</p>
<p>Yes…Bama does need to have a few “GC Days” and invite GCs from around the country to visit.</p>