OP mentioned that from school B they received “scholarships”, so it sounds like it’s a school that offer merit-based aid. They can certainly try, but it’d be no surprise at all if school A if they offer need-based aid only did’t agree to match merit-based aid from other schools.
Sports equipment can add up too depending on the sport but our school has a stash of equipment for kids who want to try something new without buying all the gear.
@SculptorDad regarding previous edition textbooks: At GG’s school and many other boarding schools, the edition they specify is the edition they want students to use. The binding doesn’t matter (hardcover vs paperback, or even spiral bound in the case of some math books), but the edition does. And that includes when a newer edition has just come out and they still request the most recent “current” edition (i.e. the now-previous edition).
The page numbers don’t match across editions, and sometimes the edition changes are not so subtle. I don’t recommend buying editions other than what the school specifies.
@panpacific the OP did not mention that one school was merit and one financially based. Many people refer to FA in general as “scholarships” – especially those new to the private-school world.
@girlgeekmom I agree. That was just an example at a different setting, where many professors don’t use the textbooks at all and many students don’t bother buying them.
Fair enough, @SculptorDad – I just don’t want to confuse anyone and boarding school is NOT college. Teachers expect a higher degree of compliance 
@girlgeekmom Maybe. If OP is still around, hope they can clarify.
Visit both the schools. Ask the tough questions that you deserve to know and how they matter to your family. Be sincere, allow your decision (together) to invest in her future with confidence. Be her advocate and celebrate!
I am very late to this party but here are my two cents:
You frame your issue as a financial one. You aren’t comparing the two schools on the basis of what they offer, you are comparing costs. If cost is indeed paramount, I strongly suggest that you -
1: Revisit both schools
2. Decide which school is preferable based on “fit”, vibes, resources, and all that stuff
3. School B may end up coming out on top, you just don’t know in advance - revisits change people. If so, accept and celebrate. But -
- If School A comes out on top, then - 5.) go back to school A, tell them A is DD's first choice and ask for more - being honest about your other offer and laying out your financial situation. The five hour distance is another cost factor. Be prepared to produce the second school's offer letter as verification. I know families in your situation that went back to their first schools seeking reconsideration. Both were given new offers from their first schools that matched the other offers. 6.) If School A still can't provide the support you need, you will know you did everything possible to make it work. and you can go with B with no regrets.
“Feeling like the poor student” should not be a factor. Some BS families are so wealthy, lots of full pay kids feel poor by comparison.
Any lingering sadness will evaporate quickly. Everyone goes through this, sooner or later- schools, colleges, careers, etc. And then there are those who get into the school they always dreamt of, then proceed to hate it and regret going there. That happens too.
You have two wonderful options ahead of you. Be of good cheer and keep an open mind - you and your family will work through this and all will be well.
Hi everyone. Because of all the great advise you all have given me I have decided to visit both schools. I will ask at School A if their offer of Aid is the best that they can do. According to the PFS what school A is saying our contribution is is almost the same as what they say we can afford to pay. In no way would we live comfortably at home while we pay for her to go to School A plus the extras. Now I must also say in terms of the vibe when we visited both schools in the fall I was impressed by both schools but for different reasons. I was impressed by School A because they appeared to be very organized, I could tell that it was a very structured environment and ran very well. That appealed to me because I am an extreme planner, almost OCD about organization. The children were polite respectful and energetic. I did feel that my daughter was being sized up by some girls looks nudges etc. School B was the school that I felt had all of the supports in place that any parent would want their child to have and I was impressed by that (being a Social Worker). I know that other schools must have those supports in place but School B was the only school that showcased those supports (we visited and interviewed at 12 schools). It appeared to be a very calm, relaxing environment. It appeared that this school not only looked at the intellect and rigor but the well being of the whole child. In terms of the “Scholarship” I was a little confused by it as well. They call it a need based scholarship. There is no way though that we are eligible for full financial aid based on our income:
CRITERIA
Applicants considered for the scholarship will have demonstrated:
Extraordinary academic achievement marked by intellectual curiosity.
Outstanding character, an exemplary record of citizenship, and the potential for excellent leadership within the community and beyond.
Economic need for full scholarship, as determined by the financial aid process.
An excitement for life and involvement within one’s community.
In terms of clothing etc: My daughter has always dared to be different. She has never fallen in line with style or what everyone else does. She wears uniforms to school but when she has an opportunity to wear regular clothing she has her on style some thing of which she makes herself, so I am not concerned with her concern for what others have. She actually separated herself last year from her friends that she had in elementary school because they began to tell her what style shoes, sneakers etc she should wear. I do want her to be able to go to the movies, eat out occasionally etc. I hope this helps to answer some of the questions.
Apparently, school B is “recruiting” you child. She must be a very appealing candidate to them. In that case, I think if you are still interested in School A, you should ask them to consider giving you more. But before doing that, I would make a decision on just how much you need to make a commitment. I think it’s unfair to ask them revisit your files, and give you significantly more FA than they originally did only to get you say “oh, never mind. I like school b after all…”
Yes, @Sarrip school B is trying to lure you in with cash. And once the scholarship at school B pays for your kid’s school for four years, they really have you where they want you…
Keep in mind that the folks at school B are pros, and if they chose your kid for this thing, they think it’s a great fit. Since I’m not sure which scholarship program you(r kid) was offered, I don’t the finer details, but it probably should give you some serious ponder fuel. School B considers your kid one of the top applicants this year.
Or school A matches the bucks, in which case, huge bonus your way!
@panpacific, if School A is willing to match or come close to the offer that School B is making, i would still want my daughter to do the revisit because this will give her a better feel for the schools than the interview and tour that we had in the fall. That would really be the determining factor. While I would appreciate them going through the files again and redetermining the amount of aid I would not feel obligated if my daughter did the revisit and decided she didn’t feel the same way. The visits are a day apart which will help.
@GnarWhail, please forgive me, I am new to this boarding school thing but I don’t understand what you mean by: “Yes, @Sarrip school B is trying to lure you in with cash. And once the scholarship at school B pays for your kid’s school for four years, they really have you where they want you…”
I’m not new to the boarding school game and I still don’t know what was meant by those 2 sentences.
@Sarrip, as you are “new to this boarding thing” I would advise you to tread lightly as you explore this world. As I advised above, do your revisits first, then decide which school is the top choice. If it is School B, you are set. If it is School A,you can approach them see if they can offer more.
Your School A has already made you a very generous offer. If a family is given such an offer and then goes back asking for more, the general understanding in this culture is that by so doing the student is stating that School A is first choice and that your student would indeed attend that school if only the money problem could be resolved. If you then receive more and still “would not feel obligated” so as to still consider B, you have, IMO, just “played” School A, an action that would be disrespect and ingratitude of the highest order. Please don’t go there.
Ok @Agincourt I do now understand. My intention is not to play games or disrespect in any form or manner. My husband and I are so grateful for the scholarships and Aid and feel so blessed that our daughter has these opportunities. I just want to make sure that we are sure. As it stands now, we are sure that we are going with School B because my daughter really likes the school, the scholarship that we have received and how that will positively affect our family financially. Since School A was her first choice based on our interview and tour I do want to find out whether she still feels this way after the revisit days and if she does explore the Aid situation. I was concerned about how little time there is between revisit days and the April 10th deadline. I do not at all want my intentions to be seen as dishonorable. Thank you for your advice.
@Sarrip As a parent who have gone through the process twice, and I don’t think I’d be alone on and off this board when I say revise is not the “golden bullet”. You really shouldn’t rely on it to make the decision… Do your research on both schools and if it doesn’t help, go with your gut feeling. Good luck!
@panpacific, Thank you. I am not sure what you mean by revise and Golden bullet. Since I am new to this site I do see many terms, abbreviations that I as a newbie have not become acquainted with yet.
Sorry, meant to say that revisit is over-rated. Betting your decision on one “artificially put together” day is not wise. Not to mention chances of seeing pros and cons of each school are high. Back to my (and others) earlier suggestion - If you don’t have major concerns about school B, why not just commit to it and skip the revisit of school A? It looks to me most likely school b will be your choice eventually anyway.
@panpacific, you are probably right. but since the visits are only a day apart and I will be in Mass anyway I don’t want to ever wonder what it would have been like if I had made the visit. Thanks for your advise and I will come back and share.
Some of us are on Team Two Revisits. 