Dealing w college freshman home for summer

<p>As a parent I don’t like the suggestion of locking out a kid at a certain time. I would rather have them safe at home whatever that time would be. </p>

<p>This is what we do at our house when our D goes out for the evening (college sophomore): we leave the inside entry light on, and when she comes in she turns off the light. That way we (mom & dad) can go to sleep, but if we wake up we can look down the hall to see if the light is off or on. </p>

<p>D is a responsible kid and this works for our family.</p>

<p>IronMaiden. . . for clarification, I took the car away last summer and she has not had it back since. I did not allow her to have it at school.</p>

<p>Your daughter probably should be forced to stop drinking completely.
She possibly, if not probably, is also doing drugs.</p>

<p>You would be doing her a favor to place her in a Chemical Dependency Center for 1 month and some type half way house for several months.
You may could get it all done this summer.
After treatment and half way house, I would change colleges and place her in a different environment and have her attend on campus AA meetings.
She will thank you for loving her enough to follow through against her will.
If you go this route, make sure she has her own health insurance for the future before committing her to treatment.
Her own health insurance may not cover the treatment, but the premium for years to come will be less expensive.
Also, life insurance rates will go up once committed to treatment.
Although she is very young, I would lock in a 30 year level term life insurance prior to treatment. </p>

<p>I know you may resist this suggestion. However, your child’s story is very similar to those who have chosen this route.
Good luck and show love.</p>

<p>Good luck. It amazes me how our very bright kids who are so eager to be independent, and were raised to have good manners and considerations become such idiots when they go off to college. Too many become arrogant, rude, and think they are the masters of the universe. Many of them who go to a college where contraband is rampant and no one including the cops wants to see it, forget that back home things just might not work out that way. They also seem to think that they don’t own anyone the courtesy of knowing when they are going where and for how long and with whom. Heck, DH and I let everyone know our plans and whereabouts, and they want a free pass on that? It’s plain courtesy and many of them lose it during the temporary insanity many get upon early adulthood.</p>

<p>No real advice other than you gotta keep reminding them as they are all “blue fish” (in Finding Nemo) when it comes to stuff like this. And I also finally discovered why people pray.</p>

<p>APOL’s rules are similar to ours. I tell my kids that I tell my husband where I am and he tells me. It’s common courtesy. Around midnight if I haven’t heard from my son, I usually send him a text and ask him what his plans are, but we don’t have firm curfews.</p>

<p>I don’t think the kids intentionally become rude, but they definitely have gotten out of the habit of letting us know where they are, and I understand completely why it seems from their point of view to be inconsistent that we want to know where they are when they are under our roof and we don’t worry when they are away.</p>

<p>Read some articles about “Tough Love”. It won’t make you happy but sometimes it’s the only way to go.</p>