<p>I will, thank you all for a shoulder to cry on! We should hear from some of the remaining schools in the next few days, so I'll let you know what happens.</p>
<p>Berurah, my best thoughts and prayers are with you!! particularly because this whole discussion strikes a cord near and dear to my heart. Good Luck and I can't wait to hear this resolved itself in the best way for you and your family. Lupe</p>
<p>Come to think of it, probably chair of the economics department (rather than home ec) would be more appropriate and a greater honor. Anyway, you really should check out the Doodling thread, especially at a time like this.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I just feel really bad that I led him to believe that his future was in his own hands when in fact that was only part of the equation. Now I feel like the failure.</p>
<p>I know lots of families must be in this exact situation. How do you help you kids to adjust to reality and let that dream go? How do you help them to move on but still know that dreams are worth having?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>lkf,</p>
<p>I want to applaud you for having the courage to ask this very poignant question. I, too, am forced to consider this question, and just like you, I have no good answer.</p>
<p>This is exactly the position we find ourselves in what with six children, one income, and now, our newest development, a pink slip from my husband's company.</p>
<p>Like your son, mine has done all that we could have ever asked of him...and more. And yet, it may not be good enough to ensure that his most closely-held dreams come true.</p>
<p>I just want you to know that I am pulling for you son and that I so hope that your family is able to come a workable solution. If you are not able to, please know that your son will thrive and excel in any environment and that he will still be able to do all that he so desires.</p>
<p>Hang in there! ~berurah</p>
<p>dadofsam,</p>
<p>I thank you for the reminder that in the end, my son will only attend ONE school....such a simple idea, but one we easily forget as we forge our way through this challenging gauntlet, collecting the various acceptances, waitlisitngs, and <em>sigh</em> rejections...</p>
<p>You did bring me a smile at the very thought of being the chair of the home ec. dept. at Confidentalia College. It would bring you a smile, too, it not a downright guffaw, if you could see my lack of skills in this area! Oh, I am GREAT with food, but my general organizational skills are quite lacking and I could sooner put together a doctoral dissertation than figure out how to get all the laundry done at one time <em>lol</em>. Luckily for me, I have trained my family to have exceedingly low standards in this department!</p>
<p>I will check out the doodling thread soon.</p>
<p>Break out the flutes...the champagne should be flowing soon, even if it is only to make some of us forget our troubles!</p>
<p>MidgetMom,</p>
<p>I am absolutely amazed at what your daughter has been able to put together financially! Will she be attending the University of Florida? Two of my friends sons will be there next year (one has been there for two years already), and I am so impressed with how Florida treats its good students. My son has been accepted to our Flagship U., but we've yet to hear about any merit awards yet. That information should be coming at the end of this month. I would love to get some more ideas from you about the best scholarships to pursue. It just seems that SO many of them require long applications and essays for so little in return. My son has done a few, but what with all the lengthy and involved apps.,he was left with so little time and energy for anything else besides his schoolwork.</p>
<p>angstridden,</p>
<p>
[quote]
Be sure to let us know when you hear!
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I hope I have the heart to....<em>sigh</em></p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Berurah, and everyone else (I've missed several posts in the middle of the thread so forgive me if this is redundant) - first, very best wishes for all of you and your families for the decisions that will come in the next couple of days.</p>
<p>Second, please remember that even if the news isn't good, these young people will process the decisions and move on - very quickly. After all, they're off to college - somewhere - they really cannot wait to get started - and they're going to be very happy about having some nice choices. Mine was packing and making the list for dorm room shopping and even drilling into the college's site trying to pick some classes while I was still scratching my head and wincing over the reach rejections and asking myself "how did I manage to screw this up for her" - it troubled me greatly to think that she was knocking on Harvard's front door, but I failed to help her figure out how to get the password to get in. </p>
<p>Our children are not given the ability to dream wondrous dreams without also being granted the ability to leverage all of their resources to make those dreams come true. If there are significant rejections in the next couple of days, it may make more sense to view it more as dreams temporarily delayed, or perhaps dreams redirected.</p>
<p>Lupe,</p>
<p>I want to thank you so very much for the good wishes for my son. You kindness is so very appreciated. I would love to hear about your 09 student!</p>
<p>dadofsam,</p>
<p>hmmmmmmm....I'm not so sure your confidence in my abilities is warranted <em>lol</em>. But, I AM good with sales, so yes, I think the economics department will do nicely!</p>
<p>latetoschool,</p>
<p>I apologize for not having gotten back to your original post. It touched me so very deeply to hear about your childhood experiences and the very many challenges you faced in your attempt to pursue your own college education. </p>
<p>I thank you for this most beautiful and relevant post. Yes, I think I prefer to start thinking about any rejections as "dreams redirected". It comforts me a great deal to hear about your daughter, how quickly she recovered from her disappointment, and how enthusiastically she embraced her new opportunities. Girl, you did SOMETHING right, and I hope at the end of this whole thing, I will be able to say the same about myself! Thanks so very much for the encouraging words and for the good wishes!</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>"I just feel really bad that I led him to believe that his future was in his own hands when in fact that was only part of the equation. Now I feel like the failure."</p>
<p>I have felt like this too often through the last months of waiting. A wise friend of mine pointed out to me that my son has excellent opportunities in front of him. Maybe he will not be able to go to his "top choice", but you know it's one of life's lessons. We don't always get that promotion, house, boyfriend, raise..sometimes a parent gets Alzheimers...stuff happens. You dust yourself off and make the best of what is available to you. (Am I preparing for bad news tomorrow?) Maybe....</p>
<p>It is hard for me to even read the above words knowing how hard my son worked. I feel like I am going crazy in trying to prep for whatever happens......</p>
<p>GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!!!</p>
<p>kdos,</p>
<p>Good luck to your son too! This is just such a stressful and disheartening process for so many. Hang in there. We are pulling for you! ~berurah</p>
<p>i'm dying to know if he got in! but i will say one thing. going to u of miami on a full scholarship ain't too shabby. i live across the highway from u of m, and your S would absolutely love the lifestyle down here. most u of m graduates end up staying. my husband got his law degree from u of m as did many of his peers - all decided to stay!</p>
<p>but i still hope for his acceptance to duke. i had to brush away a few tears reading this thread. the kids do get over rejection much faster than you'd think, true, but you do hate to see, even for a second, that disappointment.</p>
<p>Berurah, forgive my question but when exactly will he know - is it tomorrow?</p>
<p>Berurah: our college is in the process of being established. If you felt it more appropriate, you could recommend that the departments of economics and home ec be combined.</p>
<p>If your approach to home ec is to teach your family to have low standards, that's not necessarily antithetical to the subject - it's just one theory of many. Other professors in that department (if there are others) may teach a different theory, for example, the efficiency theory.</p>
<p>latetoschool...</p>
<p>Go take a peek....under the "My dear friends" thread! ~b.</p>
<p>ginnynicksmom..</p>
<p>I am a UMiami grad myself, and if you live near the University, you are in a <em>very</em> nice area indeed!! Can't complain a bit about the lifestyle there! My son got offered a 3/4 scholarship, not full, but no complaints here!</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>berurah, i'm very happy for your son and your family. we do love miami and do love our neighborhood. maybe it's a good thing your son won't be living here - south beach is a big, big distraction for my 18 yr. old, senior son! he's not quite as dedicated to schoolwork as yours, unfortunately. i love your happy ending! congrats!</p>
<p>berurah and kdos,
Thanks for your encouragement...it's good to know that others understand and that I'm not losing touch with reality. We requested that our finaid package be reconsidered in light of our other offers, so we will see what happens. I'm sure everything will work out eventually, as my son has several options. Congrats on the 3/4 scholarship berurah! Kdos, I hope you get good news today!</p>
<p>Update: Berurah's son got into his dream school, and then some--Duke plus JHU plus U Penn. See "My Dear Friends, Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"-- <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=46326%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=46326</a>. I guess we shouldn't count our dreams denied until they're actually denied. ;)</p>