Hello!
I will go to an out of state college on August and I am terrified! I am scared that I won’t succeed in terms of grades, I won’t fit in, or I might not like my roommate. Is this something all rising freshmen feel like before going to college?
Yes, absolutely Deep breaths.
For what it’s worth, I’m a high school teacher and the mom of 3. My son is a sophomore in college and my older daughter will be a freshman, leaving for school in 5 weeks.
And what you’re describing is absolutely normal and healthy… though you’ll want to work on toning down the “terrified” a little.
You’re going from the comfort of kids you’ve known your whole life to a school and a life where you know someone. We would be worried about you if you weren’t nervous.
Here’s the thing though: nothing about this scenario is irrevocable. The overwhelming number of kids get through this experience loving their school, making new friends, and seeing tremendous growth. They fit in, they like their roommate, they figure out how to navigate transportation and laundry and all those unnamed fears that are keeping you up at night.
And let’s consider for a brief moment what happens if you’re in the teeny tiny minority who don’t do all that. What if you hate it?
Then you transfer back to a school in your home town. You sleep in your own bed and commute to a local school. No harm, no foul.
So that’s your backup plan-- your “safety.”
I bet that someone got you a copy of “The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss as a graduation gift. Read it when you get the chance. Know that there will be some bumps and roadblocks on the road to come-- that’s true of life in general. But there’s no reason to think you won’t navigate them more or less successfully, and most people do. And if you hit some bumps that are bigger than you expect, mom and dad will be there for you.
Most important: those deep breaths. You can do this.
Neither of my kids had great frosh roommates. One situation was bad enough that my kid worked with housing services to switch rooms at winter break. The other peacefully co-existed til the end of the year and roomed with someone else the next year. It didn’t ruin their college experience — they were able to take thuse “deep breaths” and find solutions. You can do the same.
Yes! All Freshman have this issue.
If you think you are having more anxiety than average, it may be time to talk to your doctor.
Otherwise;
Making friends:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
Doing well in college
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html
Completely normal moving from comfort and known to unknown. S goes to an OOS school where he literally knew no one. He was excited but I could tell as the days approached actually moving away he was anxious to say the least.
The good news is there many if not most kids are in the same boat. New experience for everyone. Everyone wants to make new friends, etc. You are not going it alone. Orientation will help you ease in to your new home. You’ll meet lots of kids in your dorm in a planned, controlled way and you’ll likely have a lot of fun while getting to know people and your way around.
Regarding roommate, what’s really important is that you get along, have mutual respect, etc. You don’t have to be best friends, you just need to be compatible. S liked his first yr roommate but they seldom did things together. They did at first but then they each found their own way with their own friends that didn’t overlap a lot. They were very good roommates. Very compatible and helpful to each other. S would describe it as they went their separate ways during the day and would debrief at night. Would it be great if they were best friends? Sure, but that’s not realistic (although it does happen). one joined a frat. One didn’t so they just were in to different things.
The thing about college is there is a tribe for everyone and most kids are busy exploring their own tribe without judging you for yours. Join clubs, attend dorm functions, be engaged.
You’ll do great!