<p>My son was about to pledge a fraternity last week, when they were suddenly suspended. The school newspaper reported that pictures on someone’s Facebook showed underage students drinking inside the fraternity house. So either someone wasn’t using their privacy setting or someone had a grudge against this fraternity. Either way, posting those pictures now means the fraternity can’t hold any social events or accept any new members for a year. </p>
<p>I noticed that our local police chief had a Facebook page that almost appears to be legitimate, pictures and all. If you read through his comments, you would realize that there is no way it is HIS Facebook page. Someone made up the whole page and several kids have posted all kinds of rude and sarcastic comments.</p>
<p>My son did report receiving a, what he thought to be legitimate, request from a local university pastor. He was somewhat shocked and did not respond.</p>
<p>Every few weeks, I get spam from University Business Consulting and similar companies advertising “webinars” on connecting with the “Facebook generation.” Getting students to pay attention to announcements and deadlines is a real challenge for many universities, and even more so for departments within the unis. Email doesn’t work very well; many kids don’t check their school accounts or forward mail to their personal accounts. So uni administrators and marketers are trying to figure out how to reach the students where they hang out. Sometimes the attempt is a bit ham-handed.</p>
<p>I seriously doubt this Dean is seeking a personal relationship with the OP’s daughter. It’s probably a mass invitation to all students, sent by the Dean’s administrative assistant who actually maintains the Dean’s facebook account and will later use it to broadcast announcements to the students who sign up. Using the Dean’s name is meant to give it a little bit of name recognition and a “personal touch.” And the college’s pipe dream is to continue that online relationship after the student graduates and turn the student into a connected, contributing alum. It’s an institutional relationship, not a personal one.</p>
<p>Now, this isn’t to say that stuff published by the student for “friends’” consumption would never be reviewed and used in some decision-making process. It might, but (at least, in my environment and those of my colleagues’) usually only if some third party brings it to the uni’s attention (i.e., a “friend” “rats out” the student). Most of us don’t have the time or the inclination to sit around surfing students’ profiles and playing Facebook Police.</p>
<p>D2 just got an email saying she had to add coaches as friends so they could check out her Facebook page. Once she is at school administrators also will be checking it.</p>
<p>Friending could create a liability for the school if the Facebook revealed underage drinking on campus, the Dean did nothing, and then someone died.</p>
<p>D’s group of friends has come up with an interesting solution to Facebook fears I have not seen mentioned here. They switch last names. So they can keep their Facebook page but only their actual friends – who are told about the name switch – can find them on Facebook. D and her best friend simply traded last names on their Facebook pages!</p>
<p>Yes, I have heard about that, too. Some girls just drop their last names and use their first and their middle and notify only their real friends.</p>
<p>Today D’s college president “friended” me on Facebook. When I set it up a few weeks ago, I must have sent out a request to everyone in my aol address book. Yikes, had dozens of people respond - folks that I wouldn’t have asked… learned how to shut down access so they only see the basics…
My guess is that colleges see this as one more way to communicate. The pres. probably has an intern setting all this up. So, my vote is “not as creepy as it may have seemed at first”. I also think that nothing bad will happen if your kid doesn’t accept a request.</p>
<p>If my kid were asking my advice, it would be to ignore such a request from a school she wasn’t already happily enrolled in.</p>
<p>Why are university administrators even on facebook let alone friending students? When I was in high school, teachers would have NEVER have joined sites such as myspace. I see a lot of college faculty and even people older than my parents on it. It was better when it was only college students. I have nothing to hide, it’s just weird, and the infatuation our society has with facebook disgusts me. I think I may delete mine.</p>
<p>Facebook is not a “student” thing any more; it has evolved. Partly this came when facebook was opened up so anyone can join, without having to associated with a particular university. I think another factor is that many of the people who joined as students have now graduated and are moving on to careers, and want/expect to use facebook as a way of networking and maintaining old connections, rather than simply socializing among other students.</p>
<p>D’s dean friended her and all her friends on Facebook when they were freshmen. He has had the kids to his home for welcome BBQs every year. She has nothing to hide and uses it as a networking tool.</p>
<p>Here’s a tip: You can accept someone as a friend but prevent them from seeing your profile. You have to edit the settings and choose customize, and then specify “everyone except…” and then choose that person’s name. You can also customize it in other ways. </p>
<p>Having said that, I see no reason for your D to accept the friend request.</p>