<p>I'd run to your academic dean/advisors and inform them of the situation. If things get worse be prepared to quickly drop out of sight. Situations may warrent an incomplete in your course work but an incomplete is definitely better than a F in courses.</p>
<p>Document your process.</p>
<p>Don't worry about alraming your parents. They are big people and they will rush to your aid.</p>
<p>Sometimes freshmen lurch from cirsis to crisis (my S did). Some of it is your fault, but some of it is a bad luck of the draw. Your parents will 'get' that. They may tease you about it in the months to come--:p--but I think they would want to come to your assistance at this moment. No parent would want their child to 'gut' this out by themselves. At least let them act as your sounding board.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Tell your parents. Ask them to call and email the Housing Office. The higher up the chain of command, the better.</p></li>
<li><p>Tell your RA--the dorm advisor on your floor. Send an email.</p></li>
<li><p>Tell you academic advisor. This is very important. Soemtimes the academic side has much more power and can bring swifter action than the housing directors. Plus, the academic advisors will help you notify your teachers that you are under stress. </p></li>
<li><p>As this is the weekend, if you are feeling threatened, you should call the campus police. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Each time you tell/write to someone at the university, it is important to be very clear about how the situation makes you feel. The details are less important than your sense of personal safety; ie "I do not feel safe living in that room with them."</p>
<ol>
<li> If and when you do not feel safe, you must find a way to get out of the room, away from the threat. Even if it means you move to a hotel. Really. Trust your gut instincts in this situation.</li>
</ol>
<p>These students are probably weell known to the campus police and Housing authorities. You'd be surprised what they already know.</p>
<p>Finally, please call your parents and tell them everything.</p>
<p>Okay everyone, I called my dad tonight.</p>
<p>I had told him already of the drug incident in my room and that it wasn't uncommon to see something like that. He was not happy that people were doing drugs in my living space but more concerned with me not getting charged with anything. Now that it looks like I'm going to be okay in that regard, I told him about what's happening now.</p>
<p>He encouraged me to talk to my building director, which I am doing, and to tell her about the threats made to my friends and I this weekend and the messing with my property in the room. He told me to mention the fact that they are ganging up against me in the room, but obviously I don't expect anything to really come out of that. I don't want to make it so that they are charged with anything, but I want to make the necessary people aware of what's going on.</p>
<p>Since there are 3 weeks of school left, he told me to approach the director by asking what I am supposed to do if the drug use happens again...be forced to leave my living space because of their actions, stay and risk being accused along with everyone else, or turn them in and make the room situation even worse? </p>
<p>Hopefully the combination of the two will convince my building director that this is an unsafe room. It's hard for me to see how she wouldn't see that. I am going down to the police station tonight to talk with the officer that came to our room to let him know what is going on (but again not ask for him to do anything), and I'm going to try to talk to my RA before I meet with the director. </p>
<p>Is there anything that you think I am missing in what I plan to tell the director? Thank you guys so much for your help. I knew that cc would provide me with support...I trust my parents and everything, but sometimes I feel like I need more perspective than just them. Thanks again!</p>
<p>Good on ya for calling your Dad. He'll have a think on it and be able to be your sounding board. You might Blind Copy him on the emails you send.</p>
<p>You can clearly state your feelings of being unsafe without fingering the roommates on specific charges.</p>
<p>You are perfectly entitled to stand up for yourself in this situation. You have exams coming up. The next three weeks are critical and teh summation of four months of education and how many $$$ of tuition. Above all else, you need a stable room situation so that you can focus on your academics.</p>
<p>You should ask everyone-- RA, Housing Director, Academic Advisor etc-- if there is a single room available that you could move to for the remainder for the semester. Oftentimes, univerisities have rooms that have been abandoned for one reason or another.</p>
<p>Make SURE you send an email to your academic advisor. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>jam23,
You are really in a difficult place. Cheers is giving you great advice.</p>
<p>If you speak to people in person, I would suggest that you follow up all conversations with an e-mail summarizing the main points and outcomes of the conversation. This will serve as documentation of your actions and requests.</p>
<p>Itstoomuch has a good point about incompletes. Check with your Academic Advisor about the procedure for requesting incompletes, if it should come down to it. </p>
<p>Good luck with this!</p>
<p>jam, I have been thinking of you all evening and am so glad to hear you talked to your Dad. That's one less thing to worry about and I hope you felt a bit of relief after talking to him. I --- and everyone else here --- are rooting for you, so please let us know what happens with the building director and how this situation is resolved. You sound like such a good kid. It is a shame that you have to deal with this.</p>
<p>Hooray for you!!</p>
<p>Not only have you helped yourself by allowing your parents to help you. You have also saved them from the terror of feeling as if they can never know if you're in trouble.</p>
<p>Please do let us know how things work out for you. We'll be thinking of you.</p>
<p>Good for you for telling your parents! Stay strong and tell it like it is. I do think it is very important for you to get some distance from these roommates. Secure your belongings and find a safe haven. If the university is unable to house you elsewhere, I'm sure you can find a friend who can put you up for a while. As a parent, I would demand that my child be housed someplace else immediately. I don't know the temperament of your roommates, but you don't need added stress, especially during the last few weeks of school. Cyber hugs to you and best wishes!</p>
<p>Jam:
I agree with Cheers. Not only should you talk to your housing director but also mention your situation to your profs. If, for some reason, you have difficulty finishing your projects and need deadline extensions, your request will not come out of the blue and seem like an excuse for laziness and procrastination. You just need to drop by their offices and let them know of your housing situation which may make it difficult to turn in assignments on time; you are doing your best to both resolve the situation and complete your assignments, and you hope that you won't need an extension, but you are enquiring if one would be given if necessary.</p>
<p>Do you have friend or relative close by off campus that you could move in with for the remaining weeks of the semester?</p>
<p>UPDATE:</p>
<p>Well my meeting with the building director was scheduled for right now, but he is ill and couldn't make it. We are meeting tomorrow morning, which is fine but still frustrating.</p>
<p>I also tried to speak with the officer involved in the case, but he was off last night. At least the postponement allows me to talk to him beforehand, which is a plus.</p>
<p>I came to the room to shower, etc this morning to find something spilled all over a big blanket I keep under my bed. It dried with a weird residue, it's just plain nasty. I think the blanket is too big to fit into the campus washing machines so I'm not sure what I'll do there. My shampoo bottle was unscrewed and smelled odd so I obviously didn't use that.</p>
<p>What is worst is that someone spilled something inside one of my notebooks for class. It has my notes from the entire year, and now it is basically ruined. Plus, old tests and papers I had stuck inside are also destroyed. </p>
<p>The bottles and cans around the room made it obvious that there was a big party there over the weekend. Obviously, the roommates and their friends have no problem with invading my space and belongings. I'm about to head over there now to pick up valuables and store them in a friend's closet. Also, the door is always unlocked (roommates lost their keys) so anyone can come in and do whatever. My mom thinks that they might plant something in my stuff to get me in trouble...I don't think they would go that far, but still the whole thing is pretty unsettling!</p>
<p>My mom actually wants to call the building director today and leave a message demanding that something be done. I think that I need to be able to speak first, but I was wondering what you parents thought? Also, regarding the dean issue, should I tell them straight out that I'm in a bad room situation? I have a good standing as far as grades go, but I am coming up on two huge term papers (one worth an entire semester grade) and finals. I don't want them to think I am making excuses, but just in case, I can see the merit in letting them know that there are things going on.</p>
<p>As always, thanks for your help</p>
<p>This has gotten very serious. I am glad you are getting your things out of there, but with class notes and materials already destroyed, this needs to be brought to the attention of school personnel immediately. Please heed the advice to discuss this with your advisor. And call the building director today so that he or she is on notice of exactly what is going on. It is not wimpy to ask to have this situation rectified and put your advisor on notice of something which has to be interfereing with your ability to prepare for your finals and prepare a crucial paper. You have the right to a safe place to live, free from threats, harassment and property destruction. I hate to say I share your mom's paranoia, but it seems your roomates might stoop to planting something. Don't wait to find out. Good luck with getting this handled.</p>
<p>jam23, my son was in a room situation where the room mate was significantly older, and was using alcohol in the room , something my son is very much against. it took us a while to move him, but eventually I threatened them enough that they did. Unfortunately I was 10 hours away. If you parents are close by, after what you are writing above, (and I sincerely hope you called somebody from the campus to come look at the room etc, because you are being threatened), I would have them and yourself immediately go to the dean of housing or whatever they call it at your school, (forget the RA, they are students like you who have no power), and demand a move immediately, today, now, this minute. And hopefuly to a room/hall far away from these guys. I would not relent until you are moved and escorted out with security. these are bullys playing games with you, and you don't know what they have planned. and my question would be why aren't they being censured for their behavior. You are paying a lot of money for these rooms, you have rights, and you must stand up for them. If you and your parents have to sit in somebodies office until they move you, then do it. at this point in the semester, there are empty rooms, people that have left, quit or been kicked out. do not underestimate what people can and will do. I agree with your mom, they may try to plant something, or worse. go to the dean now and demand a room change immediately.</p>
<p>Jam,
I am outraged for you! </p>
<p>Borrow a digital camera,or use yours, if you have one, document the vandalism with photos. Include a copy of a recent campus or local newspaper for date verification. Then take all your valuables including class notebooks and get to the highest administrator you can find for emergency relocation! Do not wait for the building director's recovery!</p>
<p>jam, I think you may be getting the point from the last 3 posts. we are scared for you. get out now.</p>
<p>I suggest emailing. You can be as calm and composed as you wish when you write your email, whereas you might be flustered in person. Also, an email creates a paper trail; it can be printed out to be shared with others so that there is no "she said/he said/ I don't remember saying that..." Finally, the sick/absent individuals can access the email any time, whereas it might not be convenient for you or your parents to phone them at certain times. </p>
<p>I think this is gone beyond pranks. I would not put it past your roommates & their friends to plant something or to destroy your valuables. Already they have ruined your notes. Also, talk to your profs and let them know of your situation. If your roommates' harassment makes it difficult for you to complete your assignments, it's better for your profs to have advance notice. Document, document, document...</p>
<p>jam,
add me to the list of cybermoms/dads that think you should get out now. Let your mom make a stink - parents are the paying customers and they will be listened to.</p>
<p>all emails cc: academic dean and the president of the school</p>
<p>Amen to all of that, especially the photos. In addition, please call whoever IS on duty among the campus police right now and have her or him come to write up exactly what has been done to your things, especially your notes and other most valuable belongings.</p>
<p>Having once been on the receiving end of this sort of psychological terrorism, I know how it can escalate. Especially given that there is more than one person doing this to you, you MUST get others involved--those in authority and those who can witness what has happened, immediately. Like this minute, not tomorrow. </p>
<p>Please.</p>
<p>This is sick behavior. You did nothing to deserve it, and you have the right to have it stopped for you.</p>
<p>Let me add something based on the experience of a friend who had a son in a similar (though not as drastic situation). The RA and building director seemed to put their heads in the sand hoping it would work itself out (and not realizing the seriousness of the situation). Finally the mom intervened and went directly to the head of housing and the president of the school. Believe me, it was handled very quickly after that. I'm not suggesting you get your parents involved if they or you are not comfortable with that, but as emeraldkitty4 says, cc the academic dean and thethe president of the school on everything. This is not just a housing issue. It is an academic issue and it is a health and safety issue. Make a stink. Make a HUGE stink. Get it resolved now. Good luck and let us know what happens.</p>