<p>Actually, lalady, I WOULD enourage the OP to get his parents very involved regardless of anyone's comfort level. I recognize the category of behavior he just described, and it signals more dangerous things to come. There's an urgency here that I think others have expressed wel. I am worried about the OP now. </p>
<p>Please act quickly and tell us what you did to get safe.</p>
<p>I would have to agree w/ cytmom, this situation is way past anyone's comfort level! Parents need to know. Administration needs to know. Advisor needs to know! NOW!</p>
<p>Actually, in rereading my post I was way too wishy washy on the parents. I believe the school (whatever administrators must get involved) will move faster on a parental complaint -- as they did at my friend's son's school. I share everyone's worry, this conduct is beyond peevish or prankish. It foretells danger.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, thank you for your responses.</p>
<p>Like I said, I am meeting with the building director tomorrow at 9AM. I am going to take Marite's advice and go ahead and email him what I've been documenting here before the meeting.</p>
<p>A friend in student government who specialied in housing issues asked the building director's boss to help out after my meeting got cancelled. Unfortunately, I just got the email, and it says that at this point in the year, they don't allow room switches. My friend didn't give any details in the email, but generally my school's housing department is VERY bad and inflexible, so I worry that I'm going up against the impossible here.</p>
<p>I rooted around my stuff a little more to find that 4 pillows, my DVD player, and a leather bag, as well as my big blanket and class notes, had all been doused with what turned out to be my shampoo. I took pictures of all the damage and then started to pack my things into suitcases. My valuables are sitting in a friend's closet right now, and I think I am going to store my class notes and books in another friend's room. I am going to show the pictures to the police officer tonight. I don't want to press charges though because it will only make things worse especially if I have to stay there. I do want some type of record.</p>
<p>Again, thanks for your support here. My parents will definitely be calling the school tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it's too late for anything to be resolved today, so I'll be at a friend's room tonight.</p>
<p>I am glad to hear you will not be in that room, I hope you can stay out of that room for the rest of the semester. You are not up against a brick wall, they are responsible for your well being, and you and your parents need to make them very aware of that. and if something happens to you, their response will be????? that's the only question you need to ask. If you were my child, and I heard of such things going on, I would be in my car or on a plane, there immediately and making such a stink that you would be moved immediately. I don't give a $*&% about their "policy" regarding moving at this point. what is their policy on bullies and destroying other people's property? are these kids actually going to be allowed to return next year? You need to stand tough, firm and staunch. you want your room changed, and now. no options other than that. don't wait for replies on email, phone calls or anything like that. they are hoping you will go away. don't. you need another room, and you need it today. please stand up for yourself, because nobody else will in this world. this is a life lesson, and you can't stand down.</p>
<p>All good decisions, jam. Good on ya.</p>
<p>marite is right about the emails. You're not an adult yet, so you don't know that organizations do NOT like to see bad news in writing because written material can be used in court.</p>
<p>Nothing is impossible. don't let that thought enter your mind. But you and your parents may well assume that the Housing Office is ineffectual. Hoepfully, your parents will be able to talk to the Director of Housing? If not, I suggest they email the Dean of Students with a copy to the Dean of the school.</p>
<p>Soooo pleased to hear that you are in a friend's room. Your emails--and your parents emails--should state that you've been forced to remove yourself from the room for safety reasons. </p>
<p>Hoepfully the drama will subside so that you can concentrate on your studies. Stay forcused on those exams!</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>If you and your parents don't get anywhere with the housing director, go immediately to the dean of students or dean of the school. There is a room that you can be moved to and you need to be moved yesterday!! Do not accept no for an answer; camp out in the directors office if you have to.</p>
<p>Is it at all possible that one of your parents can come to the school and meet with the director with you? I know that my friend had to do just that for her daughter to get her moved. Not the ideal situation, but it may be the ticket to get things rolling.</p>
<p>Good luck to you.</p>
<p>It is awfully hard to ignore the lawyer in me. Policies mean nothing in the face of safety. The schools owes you a safe residence and has an obligation to protect you from physical and psychological harm. Most housing offices see everything as a personality clash that is subject to mediation. IF the housing office doesn't recognize that this is an emergency both involving housing and academics and that there are issues of liability on the part of the school, the dean's office certainly will. That's why posters have urged you to go all the way to the top with your complaint. Wow, look at the army of supporters you have here in cyber-land. I bet at least half of us want to pick up the phone and call the college president ourselves.</p>
<p>Glad to know you will be safe tonight.
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow.
If a parent cannot be present, have the director put them on speaker phone during your meeting. You should not have to do this without their support and influence.
Do not let them tell you that you cannot switch rooms. Tell them they must assure your safety even if that means putting you up in a hotel and providing cab fare to and from campus.
Do show your photos to the police and press charges if that is his recommendation. Do not accept staying in that situation under any circumstances.
I am so sorry you are going through this.</p>
<p>Housing policies are nothing against the issue of personal safety.
You could mention that you will be consulting a lawyer, and that if any further damage to your property is incurred, the university will be held liable along with the perpetrators. It should work wonders.</p>
<p>Yes! Please mention consulting a lawyer because you've been told there's no help for the housing situation and your safety is in question. You have indeed consulted at least one here, after all!</p>
<p>We are obviously all so relieved and happy that you're safe tonight! I, for one, see my own son next year in you, and I would hope he could take care of himself as you have now done. Please continue to take care of yourself as your parents would do for you.</p>
<p>I agree that safety is the issue here and the college has a responsibility to provide safe housing for you. But their liability will not start until they are made aware of the situation, so ASAP get to the Dean's office. RA's and Directors are not necessarily trained for this kind of situation. As for their planting something on you - please do not be naive. Your stuff is there unsupervised and what a terrific way for them to get you involved since you are "not involved and caused their predicament." (Untrue, but from their point of view...) Less than this has been reason for retaliation of a very severe nature. Bullies care only for themselves and nothing for others' discomfiture. They will use whatever dirty trick they can to get their victim.<br>
Blankets are cheap. Put this one in a plastic bag and keep it for evidence until you feel you can safely throw it away. Buy a new one.</p>
<p>I would also suggest mailing something snail mail that they have to sign for and get a reciept
THis way there is not getting out of admitting that they received it- and they will know you mean business</p>
<p>
[quote]
My mom actually wants to call the building director today and leave a message demanding that something be done. I think that I need to be able to speak first, but I was wondering what you parents thought? Also, regarding the dean issue, should I tell them straight out that I'm in a bad room situation?
[/quote]
</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Let your mom call, but encourage her to follow up with email or fax. Is the Buidlign director the same as the Driector of Housing? this situation warrants a call and email to the director of Housing.</p></li>
<li><p>Do not worry about speaking to people first. This situation warrants an immediate email notification of all parties--icnluding the Dean of Students and your Academic advisor and possibly the Dean of your school. Believe me, you will find the Housing Office more agreeable once the Academics get involved.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>QUICK UPDATE:</p>
<p>I just spoke with my hall director who is investigating alternative housing for me now. She said she would get back with me at around 10:30 this morning. I'll let you all know what happens. Thanks SO MUCH for your help and support in all of this...knowing I had the support of adults beyond just my parents was really reassuring to me</p>
<p>Get out as soon as possible.....You don't need this....</p>
<p>I have an idea, have your school dean go to this board and see our responses. I agree with the one poster, I wish I could get on the phone to this university and blast them. just like I did to my son's school. do not relent, make them move you TODAY</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I spoke too soon.</p>
<p>The building director is forcing a roommate mediation tomorrow. He gave me emergency housing for the night, but emphasized how temporary it was and that it was only for tonight. I would be better off crashing at friends' places like I am now!</p>
<p>My parents are outraged. I personally have seen both the director of residence life and an assistant to the VP of student affairs in the past hour or so, and I am going to my dean next. My girlfriend's aunt who lives in the area is looking to see if her friends have any influential connections with the school.</p>
<p>I just don't understand WHY the building director would want to have this mediation. I feel like she barely acknowledged my concerns after our second meeting. Honestly, at this point, despite my fantastic classes and opportunities outside of school and my amazing friends, I don't think I can come back here in the fall. If there is a situation as serious as this and the people who can do anything just ignore it, I have NO confidence in their abilities whatsoever.</p>
<p>PS: When I went back to the room, one of the roommates left a note on my desk with my key that said "Here's your key snitch." And residence life wants me to try to make things okay with these people....</p>
<p>Jam,
The building director is probably following the standard operating procedure and is not authorized to take it to the next level without following the proscribed steps. You, however, can continue to go higher and higher.<br>
They cannot make you stay in a situation where you do not feel safe. Just keep repeating, "I do not feel safe there".
Continue to document everything, send e-mails to leave a paper trail and repeat, "I do not feel safe there".
I am not sure how small your school is and I understand how you might not want to return next year. I'll assume you are already registered for the fall. I would advise that you not make this decision while in a crisis. Wait it out. When all is said and done, I suspect the roommates may not be invited back.
Good luck, Jam</p>
<p>jam23, it's time for you to get out of there - NOW - with or without the help of school administration. Thankfully, you are nearing the end of the semester. As a parent, I am outraged for you that you are being made to go to mediation with these clowns. Keep the note you got with your key. I think it's unfair to ask you to go to mediation, especially when there are two of them and one of you. That's intimidating. I want to know what punishment those two received for the drugs. Go to the top and don't stop. Keep copies of any letters or e-mails you write or receive. Truly, I am stunned by what I perceive to be the lack of your school administration's concern. May I ask, please, what school you attend? It doesn't sound like a school I would consider for my D. Good luck and please continue to keep us updated.</p>