Depressed Philosophy Major

<p>*I know what you're thinking based on the title of this thread: "Another pseudo-intellectual college kid thinking he has it hard because he's having some stupid 'existential crisis' or whatever." But just hear me out.</p>

<p>First off, I never do this. I never post revealing rants about my life on the internet and normally ignore people who do. But right now I have a lot of things going on in my head and no one to communicate with. I’m sorry if it’s too long or self-indulgent, but there are things I need to say and which I need help in figuring out. If you’re going to respond, please, please read through to the end. Anyway, here’s my blind stab for help. This is my situation:</p>

<p>I’m 18 and right now a freshman at college. I haven’t been here long, but already I know I can’t stay here. I’ll explain. I’ve been through some pretty bad depression in my life, stemming back from as early as when I was in 6th grade, and it was particularly difficult when I was in high school. I never had friends, was often very lonely, and was always, always bored. I toughed it out though, because I was hoping that when I got to college, things would change. I was hoping people would be more interesting, more diverse, and that I would have an all-around better experience. However, when I was a senior in high school, I put very little effort into choosing the right college and am now paying the repercussions. You see, I matriculated at a Catholic college where the student body is composed fully of affluent, materialistic people with heavily superficial personalities. There are not many anomalies as it pertains to that description. Very few are intellectually curious, and even fewer are passionate about what they’re being taught. I feel so lonesome here and I want to go home; but I can’t go home because I hate being home as much as I hate being here. It’s like I can’t go and I can’t stay.</p>

<p>But that’s certainly not the only thing plaguing me right now. Some other things have augmented my depression as well. For example, someone very close to me committed suicide last month, and, although it’s hard for me to talk about, I will say that it has affected me profoundly and gotten me thinking about the levity, precariousness and absurdity of life--so much so that I become suicidal myself at times. Moreover, this person was undoubtedly the smartest human being I’ve ever met. And her death has forced me to reflect on what seems like a very painful truth: Profound intelligence begets profound unhappiness. In other words, all insight into the conditions of life on this planet culminates in a piercing sense of melancholy. I mean, are all half-way intelligent humans destined to be lonely, miserable animals in this cold, indifferent universe? I think about this and immediately I start to feel the crushing smallness and meaninglessness of my being here and I start feeling so infinitely sad about everything. I think about all the uncertainties in my life, all the directions I can go with it, could have gone with it, never will go with it; all the people I could have met but never did, could meet but never will; all the moments and opportunities that may or may not arise in the future (most of which never will).... I think about how uncertain and fortuitous everything is in my life and I want so badly to just get it right. But the more I try, the more I’m paralyzed by all the uncertainty and the more I flounder and crumble. I’m afraid to do anything because no matter what I do, I’ll always think about all the other directions I could have taken with my life. And what’s more is that I look at how ephemeral my time here is. It makes me think of a quote from this book I like called Speak, Memory: “The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” That’s how I feel. I feel like my life is just a brief crackle of warmth, soon to die out and be lost forever and ever. And it makes me so desperately anxious to try to make everything right. But I can’t take all the freedom and all the uncertainty. I carry this sense of lostness everywhere I go. I feel it when I’m with my family, with my ‘friends’, everyone. At home, at school, in a crowd, alone in my room. Always, always I feel this gnawing, burning sensation down in the pit of my stomach, like I’m being continuously enveloped by a dark and expanding void, or like I’m constantly missing someone I’ve never met. I can’t stand it. I want it to stop. And it’s so constant, so immediate that I’ve begun to curse the waking hours. I crave sleep because it means being in oblivion. When you go to sleep, it’s like you break apart into a million fragments--almost like a shattered picture. And for eight or nine hours, you have neither a name nor a face nor a self. There is no ‘you’ anymore. But when you wake up, all those tiny pieces come back together again in perfect solidarity; all your faculties stir again and all your memories come back in tact and suddenly you’re a person again with a name and a past and a future and a phone bill to pay off. I’ve come to loathe that moment. I wake up and immediately I just start to feel... disappointed. That is, disappointed to know that I’m back. That I’m here again. Here again to begin a new threshold of the same stinging day-to-day consciousness of which I no longer have any interest in renewing. I want it to stop. But I’m scared.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’ll try to wrap this up a bit, because it’s getting kind of long. Here is where I’m at: I’m in my first semester at a college I hate. I’m trying desperately to get and maintain a 4.0 so I can transfer to a college I would like. It gets hard, though, when I feel so distracted by all the depression. I’m thinking maybe I should come home to Long Island (where I live) for my second semester and go to Hofstra or Adelphi. Then I can transfer to somewhere better for my sophomore year. I could get a job at home and would not have to live with people I loathe so entirely. I don’t know what to do though. Help would be appreciated. I need direction, and I need it so bad that I'm willing to reach out to a bunch of people I don't know to ask for it. What can I do?.... (I've been through therapy twice--never worked, by the way.)</p>

<p>Try therapy again is all I can offer. Saying you tried it twice means little to nothing. You have to really “connect” with a therapist to get any benefit. You’ll likely know after one session whether a therapist is good for you or not, but only if you come in with an accepting attitude. If the person doesn’t work for you, try find someone else. Don’t just give up.</p>

<p>As for the rest of your post, don’t really know what to say. Death affects people in ways we might least imagine. I’m assuming you only recently started at your university…I would give it more of a chance before planning to leave next semester.</p>

<p>You need years of intensive therapy. Intellect and insight are not direct causes of depression. The fact that you believe so reaffirms my first sentence. With cases such as yours, therapy is not something you try; it is something you do in order to avoid the serious effects of your depression. It takes years with the right therapist, not a few sessions with Dr. xyz.</p>

<p>Go to your school counsellor and talk to someone. Even if they’re not the most helpful, it’s SOMETHING. Definitely talk to your parents about transferring, because it sounds like the school you’re at isn’t a good fit.</p>

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<p>That’s because that’s what pretty much everyone’s lives are. The sooner you can get around to accepting the fact that you probably won’t do anything significant on a large scale during your lifetime the sooner you can get over it and move on. It’s a bit like me saying “I’m suicidal because I could never be a banker” (To quote Seinfeld). Oh well, just because you can’t save the universe or be a banker doesn’t mean you have to be like a robot and say “my function is over…I shall self terminate now”.</p>

<p>To answer your other question about transferring…I doubt it’ll help. The grass is always greener on the other side until you actually get there and realize it’s more of the same.</p>

<p>Damn and now I’m feeling a bit depressed after reading your post. Considering shooting you a PM because your post also brings up some interesting points which I’d rather not do an essay on here.</p>

<p>I’ve spent most of my youth and adult life pretty much friendless… </p>

<p>There are some personalities that are really just destined to go through life introverted and relatively friendless. </p>

<p>I’m 29 now and pretty much fine, but, went through a really bad few years between 16-21. </p>

<p>Fact of the matter is, your going to make mistakes and miss out on all sorts of opportunities. I missed out on getting quite a few scholarships for instance by not taking the PSAT’s on time. I’m going to miss out on the whole typical college experience because I’m going now, when I’m 29 and have a kid and stuck commuting. </p>

<p>You can’t do everything. There are people who seem to have done almost everything and still aren’t happy. All you can do is make an effort to see what is good about what you are doing now. </p>

<p>This is going to sound really dumb, but, I’ll share it anyways. One of the turning points in my life was when I started keeping track of the little things that made me happy. I still have that notebook… lol… It started with really little things, like the smell of fresh coffee brewing, or driving with the windows open in the rain. It’s a pretty big list now and whenever I’m feeling down I re-read it. </p>

<p>Life is going to be full of opportunities to be miserable, no reason to borrow trouble now… lol… It’s also full of little things to be happy about even when a lot of other things suck.</p>

<p>Camus rejected suicide… so keep that in mind.</p>

<p>^ Yeah, but he also died in a car crash. Wasn’t much to live for then, was it?</p>

<p>I kinda feel like you just played the part of what you described you weren’t in the first paragraph.</p>

<p>Go see a therapist.</p>

<p>You should paid more attention to your college choice, and if you as smart as you say you are you should have gone somewhere more “intellectually stimulating.”</p>

<p>But try to do well this semester, transfer home, do well another semester, then transfer again.</p>

<p>I was worried about this. I don’t really feel like I said anywhere in my original post that I was really smart. All I said was that it seems to me that people who think more abstractly about life are led to some disconcerting conclusions. Don’t make me seem pretentious when I’m not.</p>

<p>And the whole point of the preface was to point out that I normally don’t understand why people write such revealing posts about their lives, but that right now I seem to understand why it can be a last resort. It was not to intentionally come off as a hypocrite.</p>

<p>By the way you wrote you post, you seem like an extremely intelligent man. You will enjoy life once you have a great job and wife and everyone else is just average.</p>

<p>“^ Yeah, but he also died in a car crash. Wasn’t much to live for then, was it?”</p>

<p>Well, it’s not like he chose to get in a car accident. Also, to the best of my knowledge, he wasn’t even driving. You said you liked to study philosophy, I was just trying to remind you that a lot of philosophers (including Camus, and you talked about the absurd, so I used him as an example) deal with suicide.</p>

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<p>No doubt about it. </p>

<p>I will PM you.</p>

<p>OP, I think you have some sort of an anxiety disorder. Everything you mentioned is something that I, and likely everyone, thinks about occasionally… but you’re not supposed to be depressed over it. As other have mentioned, see a therapist and maybe a psychiatrist to get some anti-anxiety medication.</p>

<p>philosophy and depression can go hand in hand at times, at least you picked a suitable major.</p>

<p>Jeez, you could have written my life story. Same circumstances in middle school, in high school, same circumstances in freshman year. Transferring did make my life a lot better though. I would look into alternative colleges like Prescott, Naropa, Hampshire, Bard, Antioch, or Brandeis. Perhaps you need a much more involved, intimate, and challenging environment where the students care deeply about intellectual matters but are easy going and nice. I would also consider going to see a college counselor, because you sound pretty suicidal. Lastly, remember that most people feel the way you do freshman year and you’re not alone.</p>

<p>-fellow Philosophy major</p>

<p>Professional therapy is BS and likely wouldn’t help you. I would make it your primary goal to transfer to a new college. But for now, I would like to prescribe for you a home remedy: watch FLCL.</p>

<p>You want me to watch anime?</p>

<p>I’m actually very similar to you. Smart, witty, sees others as less so henceforth everyone is boring. I am positively you are feeling depressed and probably suicidal but if there is anything I have learn through my experience is that it gets better. Tip: try to get out there and take risk whenever you can. The thrill will fulled you with positive thoughts and from then forth you will progress and become more open to people. If you’re as smart as you say, then don’t keep it to yourself, teach it and the joy of other succeding will also make you overcome many obstacles. Of course, one of the bad things in life is that you cannot help or save everyone but it happens, you will feel depressed but think differently about who you have already helped and you will overcome depression. It is all about controlling your mind in order to suceed, try to practice control and you’ll accomplish so much more than you ever wished. Goodluck on your quest!</p>

<p>Sent from my PC36100 using CC App</p>

<p>Clinical depression is not cured by self-attempts to “control your mind.”</p>