<p>Quasi update…two steps forward… three steps back… one step side ways… and a backflip would explain how it’s going now.</p>
<p>Too much to cover really she is still on her own. We still pay her insurance, cell phone, and are still the go to for emergencies. </p>
<p>The older guy she was living with who isn’t a boyfriend recently kicked her out for not working, lieing to his face, etc. The general synopsis of this is: Her 28yr old bf said “let’s take a break” she didn’t take that well. The day before her and I talked about her dating older guys that she meets in AA and her exact quote was “Well, you can tell me I told you so if it doesn’t work out. I know that ##### cares for me…so much Dad” I said “I would never throw it in your face…just realize besides the addiction there isn’t much you guys have in common…etc etc etc”</p>
<p>After he told her that “he wanted to take a break” they started to argue and she started saying “I want to die…I hate my life…I want to kill myself”, so he called 911 and the again she went to the ER, Psych eval, and off to another acute rehab for 8 days. She never did try to kill herself, but she did say it and that’s enough.</p>
<p>Her roomate smoothed things over with the employer so she could keep her job very nice of him. He pays 70% of the rent too another very nice thing of him to do. Another family meeting, but the wife and I feel like professionals at this point and it was like watching a rerun on tv.</p>
<p>The therapist would say “She is making so much progress, really opening up, sharing her feelings, being real”…“She understands she can’t keep all of these thoughts inside etc etc” We’ve heard all of this before she always has talked a good game…we were supportive spent many hours talking about her plan when she exited. It was just wait and see if she would execute or would it be just talk?</p>
<p>The plan was to go back to work, continue AA, and again restart IOP, to go back to her psychologist and therapist and that we were going to pay for everything. Instead ot went like this…</p>
<p>She walked out of the psychologist office, missed her therapist appt… we get charged anyway not the copay, but a $125 no show fee since they can’t bill insurance. She missed her first 4 shifts of work and was terminated. Her excuse was “She thought they knew she had a episode and were going to work with her” her boss actually called the roommate and told him that she was terminated. When he confronted her she lied and said “No I’m not… I have work tonight”. Her and her BF got back together too and they have been like highschoolers…just inseperable.</p>
<p>We had a meeting/big talk over chips and dip… again daughter, roommate, wife, myself, boyfriend to try to wrap our arms around all of this yet again. Remember the roommate leads many AA meetings, he works in mental health, so he is a great role model. At this point he was disgusted though truly disgusted!! He brought up the lieing, not being responsible with money, her focus on needing affirmation from guys and just being smothering, one of his quotes was “That’s all you do is talk on the phone or go hang out with a ####! You don’t look for a better job or a 2nd job and I feel like you are taking advangtage of me right now. I hate to say that, but you actions speak for themselves”…“No offense to you (boyfriends name) but you are not focusing on your recovery…(daughers name) needs to focus on her recovery and you both know how I feel about you guys starting a relationship in the state you are in …etc etc etc”</p>
<p>Once he said that we just should have ended it the defensive excuse driven daughter came out in full force…“You guys don’t know what it’s like being me thinking what I think” … “You think you know and even you think so (roommates name) but you don’t…none of ya’ll do so until you walk in my shoes I don’t want to hear it” …“I put in 2 more job applications last week that’s something right?”…“I couldn’t go back to work there I just couldn’t…you guys aren’t me so it’s hard to explain it I just couldn’t though…”</p>
<p>The BF was quiet and he has fallen off the the sobriety bandwagon frequently not a good role model…all he said was that “Mr.#### your daughter helps me be happy and I’m trying to turn my life around.” I can’t fault the guy for that…on principle they shouldn’t be together though at least imo. She has gotten drunk a few times too and that was brought up…each time with the boyfriend more talking went on. It ended with she was going to spend the next two days job hunting and her roommate was going to help her.</p>
<p>The next day she said she “was going to her BF’s house for a bit and would be back to develop a plan of attack.” At the end of the day her roommate called asking if I’d seen her telling me what she said…I said nope we haven’t.</p>
<p>Turns out she went to Fort Walton and ended up coming back 5 days later with nary a phone call…that was the last straw for the roommate. He had her stuff waiting for her and was kicking her out.</p>
<p>Where is she now? Supposedly living with friends…we aren’t 100% sure. Since this happened she knows she burned a very good bridge. If she continues down this path of hurting those that care who knows. We haven’t talked to her in two weeks…we’ll see.</p>
<p>Have a good summer!!</p>