Diagnosed Childs Chances for Transfer

Parents Forum
1

<p>Good evening all. First time poster, avid reader. Thanks a lot for reading over this. Sorry if its so lengthly, I'm not good at summarizing.</p>

<p>Alright, so my child was a decent student in high school. Better than decent. Here werehis stats:</p>

<p>3.5 GPA weighted
31 ACT score
President of 4+ ECs
Student Body President
Valedictorian (he went to a small school)
Took 25 college classes during HS as a dual enrollment program, ended with 2.5 GPA. Took these classes at community college</p>

<p>And then he went to college and thinks went downhill.</p>

<p>First semester: 4Fs
Second semester: 2D, 1B, 1F</p>

<p>He was then forced to go to community college because he was put on academic probation and so far has a 2.0 GPA at his community college mentioned before. </p>

<p>Now here is where the real story starts. He wants to transfer to possibly Rutgers, or maybe Umass, or something. We, by a whim, took him to a Psycholgist. We thought they would say nothing. We thought it would just make him feel better to take him. But, the psychologist said our child suffers from depression, and from what she could tell, his depression was very bad during his first year of college and second semester of high school (when we started to notice signs). His depression, according to her, is still there and was even more exacerbated during his first semester at community college since probation, the reason his GPA dropped. This was because his best friend committed suicide. We all know that this happened, but, we blame ourselves for not noticing the signs. Even the scars on his arms he said we were falling.We shouldn't have trusted that.</p>

<p>But what is done is done. Our child wants a chance to start over. He has matured, so far he is acing the 2 classes he is taking this semester and retaking physics and currently getting a C. He is dong a lot better and showing the promise he did in high school. the psychologist is writing a note to his colleges talking about these things, explaining them to him.</p>

<p>Now, another thing. After all this, his top college is rutgers, the one college he said he would NEVER go to. But, he is worried based on his bad GPA he wont get in. Like mentioned before, we really think our child has grown, he deserves a chance to try again.</p>

<p>What do you all think? Will the note from the psychologist help at all? or do we need to convince our child to stay another semester? His old college will accept him back for sure, we've talked to the dean and they said that the reason is valid, but he wants to go somewhere new, somewhere he can thrive. </p>

<p>Will the note help a child who honestly, has no other options? He can't fix the past grades. He wrote the optional essay explaining what happened and how he has matured.</p>

<p>Any thoughts would be nice</p>

2

<p>IMO–He needs more than a 2.0 gpa at community college to prove that he can successfully handle attending a 4-year college. </p>

<p>I would highly suggest that he remain at community college for at least another year. This will give him time to continue with therapy and address his depression. Until he can show that he able to maintain at least a 3.0 GPA while taking a full courseload (15 credits) at the community college level, it may be best to temporarily hold off with the idea of transferring.</p>

3

<p>NY Smile</p>

<p>Thanks a lot for that, that is kinda how I feel, but he’s very adamant about transferring, or going back to his home institution. Plus, we called Rutgers and they say they have no GPA requirement for college and that they consider his HS transcript as heavily as his college transcript. </p>

<p>I’m just not sure what to tell him. He is most likely going to go back to his first institution if he doesn’t get in to Rutgers. they will accept him back with a 2.0</p>

4

<p>Well, you’re the parent. If he were my kid, after failing out of his initial school, I would have discussed and put in place a set of criteria for him to meet before agreeing to pay for him to attend a 4 year college again. </p>

<p>For example:<br>

  1. Follow through with regular appointments and treatment for his depression.<br>
  2. If attending community college part time, then he must also work part time. I would make him work to earn enough money to pay for his own books, personal expenses, gas, entertainment expenses, and clothes.
  3. Must maintain at least a 3.0 while taking a full course load of 15 credits/semester for at least two semesters before even discussing the idea of transferring.
  4. Show progress in behavior, maturity, and responsibility. </p>

<p>A 2.0 GPA at the community college level would not be enough for me to pay for my kid to attend a 4 year college. However, you are his parent. You and your son need to figure out a plan that will help him to successfully transition into a more independent and academic setting.</p>

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<p>I would not be so punitive, honestly. Depression is an illness. Think about how you would handle things if he had gone downhill due to a medical problem, and was now recovering.</p>

<p>The main question is, has he been treated? Is he on meds, or doing therapy or both? Is one or the other or both, effective?</p>

<p>Depression recurs. If he returns to a residential college, there are many things about the envrionment that can retrigger depression. Does he plan to continue on meds and/or in therapy? Will he take responsibility to set something up w/a therapist on or near campus?</p>

<p>Sometimes the suicide of a friend can set off similar thoughts in a vulnerable kid. Are you absolutely sure that he is safe?</p>

<p>Believe me, schools are full of kids w/depression, many on antidepressants. At one Ivy I know well, 50% receive mental health services, and many of these are on meds. The mental health issues we have seen there are pretty rampant. Your son should not feel that he is terribly different from others, or feel stigmatized.</p>

<p>He should work with the disabilities office as well as the health or counseling center if he needs accommodations at all, but hopefully, he has recovered and will stay that way, and can return to a good path academically.</p>

<p>The transition to college, and to adulthood in general, is just so difficult these days. I think that you and your son should have a lot of hope for the future, but tempered by caution until he is out of the woods. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Hi Workingharder,
Tough situation. I am glad your son is seeing a psychologist presently and is interested in pursuing his college studies. Late teens/young adulthold is a tough adjustment time and many kids hit the skids until they get themselves together. I like NYSmile’s advice to take it slowly though—not in a punitive way but from the stand point of wanting to be sure he is truly ready, and giving him that time. I am guessing he has taken in farly high expectations of himself. I would want to see evidence that he can truly focus now on school work. How long has he been seeing this psychologist? Would he be able to continue with him in a different school?</p>

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<p>I am assuming that your S is still seeing the psychologist and wonder if the psychologist has weighed in on this? Do you have family sessions and, if so, is this a topic that could be discussed in that context? </p>

<p>I am also wondering if, given the circumstances, there is anything that could be done with respect to the transcript? Would it be possible for the college to grant retroactive “W’s”, for example? Or is there some other means to vacate grades that mostly reflect that the student was ill?</p>

<p>Assuming the transcript stands, your S would probably have a much wider range of college choices if he had a solid period of taking classes and doing well, academically and emotionally, at the cc. This might be a situation in which a private college counselor who has experience with students who have had physical or emotional issues affecting college performance might offer helpful info. Perhaps there are colleges out there that are particularly forgiving if the student has shown that the crisis is past and he is again performing well. Someone who is knowledgeable about the most effective way to approach colleges in situations like this might be able to offer guidance that will make this whole process much easier to navigate.</p>

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<p>Seems to me the only transfer admissions issue is: what harm could come of applying now versus later?</p>

<p>Since he’s interested in Rutgers and his first college, I don’t know why anyone would focus on the wider range of options he <em>might</em> have with a better transcript.</p>

<p>You have said that his old college will take him back, so that is one good option.</p>

<p>The question then becomes - if he applies to Rutgers with his current transcripts (not very good ;neither the first school nor the grades so far at the cc), will they accept him?</p>

<p>They’ve told you that there’s no GPA requirement for college and the hs record - which of course is good - counts just as much. So he might get in.</p>

<p>If he’s turned down, he can always apply later… so the question becomes, will a prior rejection as transfer reduce his chances. As far as I know (and I’ve spent a lot of time on the Transfer Forum here on cc), there’s no sure way to tell. Plenty of anecdotal evidence that folks who were once rejected sometimes get accepted second time around; plenty of anecdotal evidence in the other direction.</p>

<p>I have no experience about whether a letter from an MD or counselor would help or hinder or be neutral. But I suggest you also post this whole question on the Transfer Forum here on cc. You might well find someone with first-hand experience in a similar situation.</p>

<p>FWIW, my own thoughts are for him to return to his first institution rather than apply right now to Rutgers or require him to spend more time at the cc. He doesn’t want to spend more time at the cc; he’s interested in the first school <em>or</em> Rutgers. Let him go back to the first one - he might lose interest in transferring to Rutgers. Or, he might still want to and he can spend the time at his first school doing well and improving his transcript and, therefore, transfer chances.</p>

<p>Good luck to him.</p>

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<p>Documented depression that is now controlled would be a valid reason to be able to return to a 4 year college- a note from the professional in charge sounds useful. However, he needs to show that he can do college work by getting a 3.0 average before transferring. Even with his depression treated he needs to have the study skills to manage the 4 year college- he can prove this by doing well at the CC. He also needs the knowledge base better grades will show. He needs an an “after” grade profile that shows treating the problem made a difference in his ability to handle/cope with college. Hopefully he can understand the logic used and have the motivation to get the grades and study habits to succeed in a 4 year college.</p>

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<p>wis75–I agree.</p>

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<p>Depression isn’t something that is cured or fixed just like that. I’m glad that he is diagnosed and he is getting treated. Now he has to learn to do his school work, job, home life, personal life with the depression and the treatments. It’s a tough thing to do, and he is lucky that he has family support to learn to deal with this. It’s a big step even for kids who do not have this issue to go off to college. Especially, with his foundation. Better he shows he can do his school work locally first. Let things progress one step at a time.</p>