Even though it’s early days my son isn’t sure if its the right fit for him and is very overwhelmed. Wanted to hear other experiences and if anyone regretted it looking back. Thanks so much!
My daughter was in the honors program at LC. They have a much smaller core which gives them more opportunity to do a minor, which she liked. Maybe he can stick it out a little longer and see if he changes his mind?
My kid was not in the Honors Program, her roomie was. Know it well. Later my kid was in a program in Department Honors, which many majors have. Not as prestigious and not as much work.
First, tell him to breathe. One week of school and the rumor mill is cranking. The dorm drama in full swing. And the fear of the professors at its height. Relax. He was selected for a reason. He CAN do the work. YES, its a LOT of work. He is probably paranoid about gpa and getting hammered. I have news, everyone is paranoid about that. In fact, my kid’s freshman year a bunch of flighty birds signed up for a seemingly inoccuous and easy course called History of Music. WRONG! It was taught then by a notoriously tough professor with a wicked red pen and he rarely if EVER gave ANY A’s. He announced that first day of class and promptly half the class bolted and dropped. LOL> My kid hung in there. He was wicked hard, made her cry and drove her to exhaustion. She was balling her eyes at mid term. I said, "hang in there…focus. Breathe a little…and go for long walks to chill and reflect (which she did at the Botanical Gardens on FREE Wednesdays). It worked. She got an A- in the course. A RARE “A” from him. They became fast friends…though sadly he got really sick and later passed away. He was brilliant.
Fordham’s work load can be overwhelming for everyone, as they transition from high school to real college level work. The key is to sleep right, eat right, DONT party, and focus on work…not neurotic and obsessed, but rational and reasonable focus, doing the reading and the work…dont get behind. And it will all work out.
Freshmen year was my kid’s worst year. Not horrible and awful, but grade wise, health wise, and drama wise the WORST. There were many many tears, fears and VISITS. We flew up twice! It does get better. But they MUST do the work.
Honors is grueling for workload but the payoff is awesome. He is very capable. He can get A’s. But at Fordham a perfect 4.0 is very hard to obtain and very rare. Fordham gives out plus and minus letter grades. Sometimes an A- is the best you can get out of someone.
My kid was married this past year and married by a Jesuit. He said at the wedding homily, “She got the ONLY A I gave out that entire year!” LOL. And she earned it. Blood,sweat and tears. Lots of tears.
Stay away from party animals. FAR AWAY. Do have some healthy distractions or clubs or just going for walks. Do the work every night. Don’t get caught up in drama and rumors. Even if a professor is a tough grader, hang in there and accept the challenge and often it works out. And those profs become fabulous mentors.
If after first semester he is certain he is not inclined to stay with it, then talk to the Dean and the Program Director about options. But I really think if he buckles down, calms down, focuses and breathes…he will be fine. This isnt high school where a bunch of kids get a 4.0. Good luck. Be supportive.
From the day she was admitted to Fordham last December until that day in July when we finally accepted that it just wasn’t going to happen, my daughter and I hoped she would be invited into the Rose Hill Honors Program. Had she been invited into the program, both of us would have felt a mixture of pride and anxiety. Having been left out, both of us felt a mixture of disappointment and relief. One week in, my sense is that the transition to independent living away from home is hard enough without the added academic burden from day one. I tried to convince myself that taking most of her classes with the same cohort of 35 other very accomplished students would be the best way for my daughter to make new friends. Now I am trying to convince myself that taking her classes with a broad cross section of freshmen and joining some clubs and activities and participating in the programming in QC is the best way for her to make new friends. As SovereignDebt has outlined in his posts about his daughter’s experience, there will be other opportunities for my daughter and the many other talented freshmen who were not selected for the Honors Program to distinguish themselves in the classroom, to earn academic honors, and to benefit from the attention that top students who seek it will receive from their professors at Fordham. For now, it is challenging enough as it is.
Absolutely correct undaunted. Queens often houses a lot of the Honors kids…at least historically and they room with the rest of the students.
The work load is challenging enough and the stress is high no matter the major. Gabelli. Rose Hill. Lincoln Center. Honors. All of them.
If you have a 3.5 after freshman year (rankings come out in late May or so) they often tap you on the shoulder…and you will get invited to various special programs and department honors etc.
All sorts of stuff goes on freshmen year in the dorms. Keep calm. Breathe. Be tolerant. Work hard. My kid used to go to the dungeon in Queens, and study. Near the laundry. They used to have some fun parties under the pipes on weekends. Dancing and blowing off stress. Those kids…her friends then, are her friends now …8 years later. And all going to each others weddings. All of them finished Phi Beta Kappa. All of them went to graduate school or professional school. They were nerds…but fun loving nerds. It wasnt all roses.
For freshmen, know that you have support. Talk it out…friends, RA’s, RD’s, and campus ministry. Campus Ministry was a godsend to us freshmen year. Fabulous weekend retreats up in Goshen. Awesome and miracle workers. Know that everyone is going through this…and will go through it, and you have to go through it to “get there.” And it is fun for several weeks…then midterms…and it starts to get a bit testy. Then Thanksgiving and exams and papers due…and its downright intolerable inside the dorms. LOL. And then the finals…and coming home. And then the grades…and all sorts of emotions. January is the DOLDRUMS. Gray skies. Anxiety about everything and grades. And tired of the dorm drama and cafeteria food. The sun comes out in March, things get much better and all is well. Its a process.
I was not in the honors program but my roommate was. For now, I’d suggest your S reach out to the head of the RH honors program and talk to him about his concerns etc.
I’d say to stick it out this semester and see how things play out. Starting college is overwhelming for everyone so I’d give things time to get on an even keel before making a decision to leave the program.
The average GPA in honors classes is 3.5+, so they inflate the grades pretty heavily.
Your son should be fine.
Fordham is not known as a school that inflates grades. Sorry. If anything people complain about grade deflation.
While its true that Honors Students typically do very well, there is no requirement from professors that it be a “balanced score card” with a C given out for every A given out. Or A-.
Fordham grades with letter grades using plus and minus and then its converted to gpa’s using decimals.
I do agree the OP’s son will be fine. He just has to breathe, focus, do the work, and avoid the party animals in the dorms.
Thank you all for your feedback! I keep telling him to take it day by day and see how it goes this semester. When they are in high school, they can be the big fish in a small pond but now that’s not the case. But I want him to make the decision when he is clear headed and not overly stresses as he is now. Does anyone know anything about Dr. **name removed*… We have heard many horror stories!
The problem with discussing professors is its a lot of rumors which are fed by subjective opinions based on a grade someone got. The Honors program is a small cohort…25-35 students every year. And they know the upperclassmen and hear stories.
Sometimes a story is accurate. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes the professor is simply a tough grader, but fair. Getting a 4.0 is very hard to do and very rare.
My kid often sought out the tough professors because of the classes they taught. There were maybe 4 professors in four years that were “objectionable”. One was deplorable. He is gone. Another was rather nasty and it was dealt with, reported and the outcome was acceptable. It happens. You cannot expect to have perfect profs in every class for four years. Personalities. Expectations. All sorts of reasons. Every professor has their own quirks and grading style. Its part of life. The working world is full of jerks and worse. Get used to it.
Serious problems should be taken to the Dean. But mostly taking time to go to office hours, and meet the prof and just touch base, and open doors helps a lot.
There are many wonderful professors at Fordham in every department. Some of the best for my kid were also some of the toughest graders. And dont forget the first papers returned are not the final grade. Not even the mid term is the final grade. Breathe. Stay focused. Listen. Perspective. And DONT get caught up in the rumor mill.
I have no firsthand knowledge of that professor but many of the philosophy professors at Fordham are hard. It is just a hard subject. The good news is that virtually all of the professors are accessible during office hours for help.
Sovereigndebt you are correct - it is best to not to get caught up in the rumor mill since one student can’t despise a professor and another one, thrive with the same teacher. It is a big leap from high school to college (its been so long I forgot!)…Thanks for putting it in perspective!
My freshman D is also very overwhelmed at this stage. To be expected I’m telling myself, but level seems extraordinarily high. Having been through an orientation w/our other D I can say Fordham’s orientation really did nothing to put our D at ease, nor have the RA’s the first 2 weeks of school. The one day orientation was a repeat of accepted students day, and the 2 day orientation prior to the start of class was so jam packed w/academic and other programming there was no time for bonding, relaxing, talking, getting to know anyone from the floor, etc. Then class started. No self scheduling of classes was allowed. There has not been much in the way of floor get togethers for bonding. I’m speaking from a girl perspective here…compared to my other D’s school by this time the whole floor was bonded through the programming provided at the lengthy orientation and the RA programming. So my D and I’m hearing others feel like they are lost. In addition to the academic punch. She is already asking to transfer. Ugh. H and I did the trip there yesterday to try to calm things. But she is hearing from friends at other schools who have BFFs already and liking class and she is really struggling, thinking she made the wrong choice. I made her get a counseling appt set up at Fordham’s center. Hope it helps the adjustment! Don’t really want to be looking at other schools over my Christmas break and seeing her go through a transfer. BTW she has a very nice scholarship there. Would also hate to see her leave that. I’m hoping this is temporary.
You summed up our feelings exacting. I agree orientation was so stressful, there wasn’t any time to relax and make friends. And I too have heard the kids in other school have found their group. The class schedules are challenging for a freshman. Some days are very long and others they have just one class.
Okay…breathe. I can tell you that in 07 when we dropped off our kid, she was a REAL outsider from a far away state and didnt know a soul. HUGE culture shock. Roomie issues. All sorts of drama.
There is anxiety because Fordham is in New York City which is overwhelming for many. Queens Court has scheduled events that are fun and encourage bonding. And other dorms have their own events too.
It DOES get better. Freshmen year is a huge adjustment and they should NOT compare friends on facebook and their supposed fun. I can assure you that the people on facebook are also stressing and just not posting it.
Fordham is a very good school, but it is also a school where academics is the main event. Do the work. Find friends in your classes to study with. or friends in the dorm to study with.
My kid made friends …then changed a group because of “issues” and ultimately made her real friends later in the year, including her boyfriend…now her husband.
Leaving a scholarship is NEVER advisable because typically a transfer kid wont get a scholarship and has to depend on financial aid.
Even if you are from suburban areas outside NYC, the shock is abrupt. The Bronx is an eclectic area and the rumors fly about this or that. But that resolves and they end up going to Arthur Ave for dinner a lot. its fine.
Go to the football games. This week is homecoming and a LOT of alumni will be there. ITs the Liberty Cup versus Columbia…well attended game. ENJOY THE GAME. HAVE FUN. RELAX.
Let me tell you we almost pulled our kid. Had the come to Jesus talk several times. WE flew up twice…but she hung in there, pulled up her socks. Got over her illness (flu) and being homesick and by March was on a roll…andnever looked back. Its worth the effort.
Be supportive. Be a good listener. But remind them that there is adjustment at EVERY College and Facebook is NOT a good source to judge anyone or compare anything. Stay off of facebook. Make NEW friends at Fordham, not clinging to high school friends from home somewhere else.
Fordham educates you in the classroom and in life. A superb growth opportunity. Maturity. Its not always easy or pampered. College is a LOT harder and more work than high school.
Tell them to breathe. Eat right. Sleep right. Be friendly and outreach…but pick friends wisely…kids who study and not party animals. And kids who have similar morals. Dorm life is a challenge.
Campus Ministry is very helpful and their retreats are AWESOME. Being NYC, kids are aggressive and competitive…though its not as bad as places like NYU and Columbia. Trust me.
We are there for you. Been there and we understand. But they have to breathe and calm down. Stay off facebook and all the rumor mill crap.
This isnt the Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts. Its college…in New York City…a tremendous opportunity. And she WILL make friends…be patient. Be picky…but not too picky. Nobody is perfect and nobody is a clone of you.
My kids friends are all her lifetime friends. Been to THEIR weddings, they to hers. Superb kids. All smart as whips and excellent students. They had fun…basketball games, football games, going into Manhattan on Wednesdays (no classes) and going to Botanical Gardens (Free on Wednesdays) and the Zoo. Did laundry on Wednesdays too. And had laundry parties. study parties. and destressing parties…just no booze.
As parents we have to help them…but we also have to tell them its time to grow up and learn to be independent and solve their problems…stop whining. And focus on their work. Being homesick is NORMAL. Being freaked by NYC is normal. Being afraid of dorm drama is normal. But they get through it. and GROW.
Fordham is a wonderful school. Professors are approachable and friendly and mentor students. Go to office hours if only to touch base and learn to relax. Some professors were awesome about that…very supportive. They understand.
Hope that helps you. I get it. But I also know what works. Freshmen year is full of drama and emotions and fears and homesickness. Depression can set in if they close off the world and close their doors and freak. reach out. Believe me…my kid was different…very different. Different culture and different part of the country and all sorts of stuff going on. But at graduation four years later which went by VERY FAST, there were tears of joy and NOT wanting to leave. Hugs from Deans and Professors. Hang in.
Also feeling LOST in class is not unusual…its NORMAL. Tell them that. Tell them to BREATHE. Stop lookng at facebook. And stop expecting miracles the first two weeks. BE PATIENT. BREATHE.
If they do the reading and do the work, their grades will be fine. They will get red ink on papers. NORMAL. Getting a 4.0 is hard to do at Fordham. But the rewards are a SUPERIOR education.
In short…calm down. It will resolve and class will get better. Just do the work. Talk to people…and dont be afraid to say, “hey…I’m lost in philosophy, or I am lost in physics…” and reach out. EVERYONE feels that way.
Good luck.
They pick classes second semester btw. Only the first semester does Fordham select for them.
For any parents/students, just letting you guys know that the Honors program at Lincoln Center is VASTLY different than the one at Rose Hill in almost every way. Here are some:
- Way way less classes
- Way less of a part of your education/Fordham experience—it's just classes that you come to and from
- Very flexible. RH's program is rigid, but at LC anything is fair game if you have a good reason. People have been able to not take some honors classes (for legitimate reasons) and even major in stuff only offered at RH
- Senior thesis is almost the opposite. The past director of the Honors program did not want a rigid, academic thesis process forced on everyone like there is in RH. We can do stuff like films, computer applications, novels, etc.
- Generally not very difficult. In face some Honors classes have been very easy. That may change though, no guarantees for the freshmen!
Personally I am very happy with the LC honors program.
Hello pineview, hope your daughter is doing better!