<p>It sounds like a nice gesture and well meant, although it would probably be better to wait and meet parents on move-in day and share information. I personally never exchanged information with any of either of my daughter’s roommates parents or had much conversation on move-in day or parents weekend or move-out days. I do have contact information for parents of the girls they became friends with, especially important if they are travelling together anywhere.</p>
<p>If you go the the empty nest threads and the packing-our-kid-off-to-college threads,you will find many loving and well-adjusted parents who would very much welcome the OP’s initiative: Ahead of move-in, when much of the parental angst takes place.</p>
<p>Kindness and thoughtfulness are good things. They may be misinterpreted, but they are kind and good, nonetheless.</p>
<p>We just had dinner with the roommmate’s parents and they were so nice and appreciative- I am so glad that I called them and now I think my daughter even agrees, The roommate is #4 and I reminded them again that I am in town and if there’s ever an emergency I am here etc. She said thank you so much b/c 2 of my kids had accidents in college and it was a nightmare- told her that one of my very good friends husband was a doctor etc. Yes I know the college can help her but it is nice to have someone local …
Move -in is 8-11 a.m. and I plan to leave and return for meeting with advisor and convocation at 4.</p>
<p>Depends how much parenting your daughter is used to. It would be a dream come true if I was allowed to live in a dorm only 20 minutes away but nope I have to stay at home.</p>
<p>glad it went well hlsess… i thought it was a nice thing to do and so glad the other parents appreciated it.</p>
<p>hisess - So nice to hear that it was a lovely dinner and an appreciated gesture.
(Good lord, I 'm an awful mom, though. S just graduated and D is a junior and I just realized that I didn’t/don’t even know the last names of their roommates.)</p>
<p>Hless, while I would have waited to do what you did once I met the roommate/parents on the actual day, it would probably be due to shyness on my part. What a lovely gesture.
To all those who say its time to let our kids live their own lives - these kids are no longer 13-15. They should all have gone past the" eye rolling embarassed of their parents stages of their lives". Its time for them to start living as adults, which includes good manners (whose lack we excused when they were teenagers) and random acts of kindness. The OP showed by action the way to do it. Hopefully when her D is a mom, she will remember the lesson.</p>
<p>hsless, I think it was a nice gesture, and I’m glad the parents appreciated it. I probably wouldn’t have done it, for fear of overstepping, but I would have been very happy to <em>receive</em> the call. Now that friendly relations have been established, it’s time to step back and let the kids run the show. But you know that already. :)</p>
<p>Kids are touchy at this age, and there’s a lot of push forward and pull back. It’s hard to know precisely where the boundaries lie for us poor parents. Mutual respect should be our goal, I think. We should try to refrain from being as involved, parentally, as we might wish, and the kid should try to refrain from eye-rolling and other immature expressions and be kind to us.</p>
<p>I have found out that there is a young man who lives about a mile away (but went to a different hs) who is not only attending S’s school, but was placed in the same dorm. To top it off, both parents are alums of the school just like my H and I are, and the father is in the same profession as my husband. They were even my year! (though I didn’t know them). There is one part if me that would love to call and get the boys together, but I’m restraining myself.</p>
<p>PG- what, to have a playdate? 
I could imagine what your son would say.</p>
<p>My sons would have wanted to kill me!</p>
<p>When we dropped off our son as a sophomore he wanted us to just leave his “stuff” packed. In other words, just spend days traveling and then just unload our stuffed car and leave very quickly! The process did not happen exactly as he wanted, but we did leave within a few hours (after unpacking).</p>
<p>Last year, one parent that we met offered to host our son if he needed place to go for a long weekend (they live a short distance from the school). I thought this was a very nice invitation.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, forget getting the boys together - get the adults together! You and your H should see if the couple wants to go to dinner. Then tell your son what a great time you had at dinner (if you indeed have a great time) and mention that the boy is in his dorm. Whether the boys get together or not, you and your H will have hopefully made some new friends and might be able to share travel arrangements for the boys, etc.</p>
<p>I haven’t read this thread, but just thought I’d add - it is a good idea to have the phone numbers for a few of your children’s friends. For emergencies.</p>
<p>Nope. Old school - meet 'em on move-in day. Most kids are getting aquainted on Facebook over the summer, but I am not calling anyone.</p>
<p>Oldfort – yes, a playdate :-). I mean, this kid lives one subdivision over! And yes, my son would kill me!</p>
<p>Met both s’s roommates parents on move-in day freshman year. We exchanged contact information with the older s’s roommate’s parents, but didnt with the younger s’s roommate’s mom. None of us were particularly close by, though the roommates families were closer to the colleges than were were in both cases.</p>
<p>There is is a CC thread “in loco parentis” where parents post if they live near a college. I think that is very nice.</p>
<p>We had an inlaw-once-removed relationship with a person in our son’s far-off college home. I was glad that she and I had communicated (and that there was never an emergency that necessitated her further involvement).</p>
<p>Our son’s freshman roommate’s parents had reason to contact us–once. I’m glad they could.</p>
<p>Exchanging information and offering assistance, should it be necessary, is a kind and gracious act and no amount teenage eye rolling diminishes that.</p>
<p>Although I understand why many think this was a nice gesture, I would never have done it, for any of my Ds. All of them, I think, would have been unhappy with me had I taken it upon myself to be in touch with roommates’ parents prior to move-in day. I think the gesture could have been made, in person, when the kids were moving in, and it would not have put your D into an awkward position right off the bat with her roommate.</p>
<p>I respect those who make the distinction between before/after move in. Though I do not see the importance of this distinction. To me, it is splitting hairs.</p>
<p>Generosity is good. One can be rebuffed, misunderstood, etc., but the initial impulse towards generosity should be supported.</p>
<p>My mother once called my roommate because I hadn’t answered my phone for a few hours. She and that RM’s parents had exchanged their numbers and ours during parents weekend. I found it quite upsetting and asked her to never do it again. My roommate didn’t seem to mind. She’s very outgoing.
Her calling my roommates parents to introduce herself before the school year wouldn’t have bothered me as much, though I would still find it sort of annoying, but it’s unlikely to happen with the way my school does freshman rooming.</p>