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<p>The distinction isn’t with the timing, it’s with the discussion that should take place with your child prior to making this gesture.</p>
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<p>Thank you! Teens are ultra-sensitive and don’t yet understand that some things trump momentary annoyance/embarassment.</p>
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<p>alwaysamom, I agree! If this was the issue and I missed it, and I am sorry! I would discuss this with the student. But should the student disagree with non-harmful generosity, I would proceed and inform my child, even if he/she disagreed.</p>
<p>The OP had a generous impulse. Perhaps it might have been better to tell her daughter’s roommate herself that the family lived close near campus and would be happy to help in the event of an emergency. College freshmen (for the most part) are legally adults, and they need to be approached and treated as if they were self-responsible. (Even if they aren’t quite yet; it’s educational to be treated as if one can take care of oneself.)</p>