<p>My husband and I didn't have too many disagreements on our daughter's college application process. But at the end, when it came down to between Cornell and Duke (north and south), we did disagree mildly. We are having a similar discussion now over the presidential election.</p>
<p>^^^thanks for the clarification. It's true that in either state you have some great public options as well as private ones but in either you can be 6 or more hours from home and still be in state. In the northeast you could have crossed several state borders in the same time frame. I guess my point is just because CA and Texas kids are more likely to remain in state doesn't meant that they are any closer to home than oos students in another part of the US.</p>
<p>FYI, there is never any open debate or arguement about this at home. He and I disagree privately away from the kids but we don't fight. They know he feels protective and wants the option of being there within hours if they need him because he has told them that it is something they need to consider in their choices. I agree that it is a consideration but just one of many that needs to go into the decision making process.</p>
<p>You are right. When our son was at school, it was a 6 hour flight from home. Now that he is working in state, it's a 6 hour drive from home. However because he is in state, at least his journey home won't he hampered by weather (driving or flying).</p>
<p>historymom,
You are correct, both states are so large that the distance from school to home could be several hundred miles. Additionally, however, I think there is an attitude in both states (perhaps more so in Texas) that there is no reason to leave that state for any reason, including education. Nowhere could possibly be better than Texas or California, so why waste 4 years living in an inferior place. </p>
<p>Families with plenty of money prefer to send their brainy offspring to Rice, SMU, UT or TCU than venture north and check out those scary Ivy League schools! And Californians are reluctant to experience weather than might be less than ideal, so they stay instate. Granted much of this is anecdotal, but I think it's fairly accurate.</p>
<p>I guess that we are lucky here in the midwest to have enough self-doubt and rotten weather to send our babies all over the US! </p>
<p>barrons: Needless to say, it has not been my experience here that most kids prefer instate. What I see are a great group of kids who get together whenever they are home or even at each others schools, but are not transferring back because of homesickness. They are all very happy in their many different schools which are located from CA to NH and everywhere in between.</p>
<p>runmanstl: "Nowhere could possibly be better than Texas or California, so why waste 4 years living in an inferior place."</p>
<p>I went to primary school in a very good public school district in Texas, then middle school through college in California. I can definitely say that attitude is alive and strong in both states!</p>
<p>
[quote]
I blame cell phones and texting
[/quote]
I agree with Barrons -- my son will probably transfer back closer to home, and I do think that one reason is that he's been able to easily stay in touch with his friends back home and misses hanging out with them. That's not to say he hasn't made friends at college, and he's become involved in several campus activities that he enjoys. But it's just been hard for him to still be "in the loop" with his pre-college life back home, but not able to participate in it.</p>
<p>Both kiddos - refused to go to any in-state ''state'' school (which we agreed with totally) - both wanted outta here (which we actually encouraged)</p>
<p>US - apply where-ever - but $$ number had to be considered - (DH re: DD - after all choices considered - finally admitted that some places were not acceptable to him - distance wise only)</p>
<p>Kiddos - both ended up in mid-atlantic area - ~~800 miles from home - doable in a day if absolutely necessary.</p>
<p>DH pretty much stayed out of the pre-choice piece for the most part - left it up to me knowing that I would really research stuff - but when decision time came - he was very open to the discussion and it really was a family decision in the end - which made it very comfortable for all involved :)</p>
<p>Nice part oabout California or other large state is that you can be hundreds of miles away and still be in-state. I personally did the live in Bay Area, go to school in SoCal; then graduate studies in Spain. My work has taken me all over the world. My thought is that there is very little difference traveling 500miles as it does to travel 2000. You can be just as homesick, next door as acroos the globe. It is an emotion, not a disease.</p>
<p>We are kind of the opposite of OP. I (Dad) am the one who wants S to explore all opportunities regalrdless of location. Wife wants him to be in-state and live close by. Basically when we discuss his other potentials, my wife says, he already been accepted into UNC-CH, why look anywhere else? Makes sense, but not my S' point of view. It is nice to have options.</p>
<p>To make my wife more comfortable if S chooses out of state school, I have already lined up nearby friends or relatives to offer a quick escape if he needs. We live in a very mobile society.</p>
<p>We did not have the problem</p>
<p>atg4ever, I had two friends in college that were from Raleigh and said just about everyone they knew there had your wife's outlook on colleges. When they both said they wanted to go up to Pittsburgh for college everyone kept wondering why they'd turn down UNC-CH for anywhere else in the world.</p>
<p>(And apparently now whenever they visit home they're made fun of for having a northern accent.)</p>
<p>Racin, we are actually California transplants, but I do agree with the fact that this is a great college area. Just think, you can visit UNC, Duke and NC State in less time than it takes to drive from Malibu to Marina Del Rey. </p>
<p>Don't get me wrong, as far as I am concerned S has already received the cake with scholarship and decent aid for UNC, so any BBD will be icing. I still believe it is good to keep your options open until you need to make a decision. I guess that day is May 1.</p>
<p>OT, if any OOS child out there is thinking of school in the Raleigh, NC area. I highly reccomend taking a good look.</p>
<p>Correction: no aid yet, got ahead of myself. And it should read less time than it takes to drive from Santa Monica to Marina Del Rey. I forgot to take into account traffic which there is much less of a problem around Raleigh, although some people around here consider slowing down to 45 miles an hour for 1/4 of mile on I-40 to be a traffic jam.</p>
<p>I and my mom agree that I better go to a school in CA (so I only applied to colleges in CA). She's also said a couple of times that if I'm gonna go to a school far from home, the whole family will just move there so I can live at home lol. </p>
<p>I don't think we've ever had issues or arguments about colleges. My mom pretty much lets me make all the decisions, but she gives me a lot of good advice.</p>
<p>Not much on my mind. Basically not much exciting going on today. Eh. Today was a complete loss. I've pretty much been doing nothing. Not much noteworthy happening to speak of. Not much on my mind recently. I haven't gotten anything done for a while. Not much on my mind worth mentioning. Shrug. That's how it is. I feel like a fog. I can't be bothered with anything these days. Pretty much nothing seems worth thinking about, but oh well. I guess it doesn't bother me. More or less not much noteworthy happening today. Maybe tomorrow. Not much on my mind worth mentioning. I haven't been up to much lately, but I guess it doesn't bother me. Pretty much not much exciting going on. Pfft.</p>
<p>"I guess that we are lucky here in the midwest to have enough self-doubt and rotten weather to send our babies all over the US!" LOL-great statement</p>
<p>So apt, especially with the volumes of snow outside! We do take our education quite seriously as well. That is one reason I wanted my 3 to stay in the upper Midwest for school, as there are so many fine choices which also give good financial aid. The ex was of a different geographic and socioeconomic mind set, thought going far was essential to gain independence. I'd prefer to keep them within a day's drive to minimize travel headaches and cost, and encourage independence by sending them to the far reaches of the earth on exchanges and semesters abroad. </p>
<p>So, S wanted distance and city, found it in Pittsburgh. Being a quiet, though adventurous kid, he was surprised to find himself missing home and friends quite badly. He considered a transfer home, but eventually found his niche at Pitt. From that I learned that city or country doesn't matter too much, as he was so busy with ECs and college that he could be anywhere, though he loved rowing crew in the east. </p>
<p>One D did end up in a LAC an hour away. She has an interesting life there, with dorm and class mates from all over the world. Geographic diversity came to her. If in need, she has the advantages of home, but can be as psychologically distant as she wants. </p>
<p>Her twin, out of the country this year, will return to a school on the west coast, a few hours from her dad's new home. She wanted to escape the midwest winters. My previously heavy heart has been lightened by how much we like this school, her interesting opportunities, and the fact that she'll be close to an airport to whisk her home with reasonable fares and no connections. </p>
<p>Many interesting observations on this thread. As this has been a big, and at time heartwrenching topic in our family, is good to see the comments. Barrons is right about the cell, IM culture and facebook culture keeping HS students close to each other long term. My S's friends were all over the country, but they came back here every chance, stayed close, though most are now college grads, and in various corners of the globe. Will be interesting to see whether college friends or HS stay closer over time. I've seen a number transfer to our home university-UW Madison, after they explore a bit and realize how great life can be here. They needed to get away to gain that perspective.</p>
<p>S1, a (college) jr. is leaving this weekend for a spring break trip comprised of about 35 guys and girls from various colleges all over our state(NC). The core of this group all graduated from the same high sch. and have stayed amazingly close even though scattered across the state at different schools. The rest are new friends that have been incorporated into the group over the last few years. </p>
<p>I agree that cell phones etc. have kept them in close contact but also attending schools within a few hours of each other has had much the same impact. One guy from their group went to Florida for sch. after graduation but transferred back here after one year.</p>
<p>The OP's DH could be living in our household; neither child wanted (wants) to stay in state or region (yep, we're midwesterners, too, although transplanted ones.) I was more open to them looking at more far flung schools because I too wanted to get out of my geographic region in high school (the south instead of the midwest in my case.) He's been a little easier on DD after my DS blazed the trail; with DS, DH finally said he could live with his choice but didn't have to like it. With DD he's saying he'll be okay with her lower cost OOS options but not one that would be over $15,000 more annually than those; he's also already said that he doesn't want her making car trips to school alone if an overnight in a motel would be required.</p>
<p>mystery :0) I think both our DHs have solid points. I am fairly certain that if the money and acceptances come through both historygirls will decide to stay in state but one school near the top of both their lists is not only far from home but geographically pretty remote. That school is a financial and an academic safety with a program they are both really interested in. I think if they do go oos to college that he and I will both feel better if they are within an hour or two from one another so that if they need a taste of home they can easily get to one another...actually that's what I would prefer if they were in state too...not the same campus but close enough to spend the weekend from time to time.</p>
<p>We're insisting on OOS. They need to get out of this state for awhile.</p>
<p>dke...what state? I ask because I am from a rural area and we are always telling kids to "GET OUT" go see something different, see what another county, or state has to offer. Funny thing is though...so many of them come back. :-)</p>