For those parents who had a child who had a serious high school romantic partner, what happened? Did they break up before leaving for college? Try to keep it going, but break up during freshman year? Break up during college? Keep it going all through college, and then break up? Wind up getting married? Were you happy with the outcome? Were they?
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DD dated her bf about two years before going off to college. She broke it off with her boyfriend at the end of the fall semester. It was too much stress coordinating visits, Facetiming every day, etc. They made a clean break. Still concern and feelings but the break was sharp which helped. That was almost a year ago and no boyfriend or much if any dating since then.
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My niece started dating her boyfriend in 8th grade. They are still together - they are both 26. Broke up once in high school. They went to different colleges - one in the northeast and one in Florida.
I personally think it is limiting, but itâs not my relationship.
They are not engaged, but do live together.
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My daughter and boyfriend amicably broke it off before heading to college in two different states.
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My daughter had a long distance relationship in hs (we moved when she was a sophomore). He was a year older so already in college. He came to her hs graduation and then she went on vacation with his parents for 2 weeks.
She couldnât wait to break up after that trip! The father had pressured me to let her go live with them for the summer before college, work for him, let the young couple âget to know each otherâ but I said no (what if they break up, I asked? itâs almost like I know my own kid).
I mostly worried about her spending all her time on the phone with him instead of studying or getting into the college life. It was for the best for a lot of reasons (including that the guy was a big nerd)
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My daughter is only a freshman but she and her bf have been dating since the beginning of junior year of HS. They go to college 3.5 hours apart, in different states.
They did a mutual break-up 2 weeks before leaving for college, with the thought of giving each other room to adjust to college. They were both heartbroken & miserable and have decided to get back together and do the long distance thing. They alternate visiting each other about once a month. Both are still fully involved in their respective college lives, have lots of friends, and donât intend to transfer so they can be together full time. Itâs a long 4 years, so weâll see. D intends to study abroad at some point, so that will be a big test. As long as things stay healthy, I donât have an issue with it (although part of me hoped that she would at least date a bit at her college but the heart wants what it wantsâŠ)
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Oldest broke up with her boyfriend when he was a sophomore, she was a freshman, just too hard to coordinate getting together. Next oneâs girlfriend broke up with him right before graduation. Next one broke up with her boyfriend end of her senior year of high school, so his freshman year in college. All of my kids are dating others.
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S had a very nice gf sophomore through senior year of high school. He decided that they needed to break it off before college since he was going 12 hours away and would be in school 7 to 8 years and she was going two hours away rooming with her hs buddies. They stayed together until the week before he left for college. She knew they were splitting but hung on until the end. She would have preferred to try to make it work. Ds knew he couldnât do it being that far away even though he really cared about her. It wouldnât be fair to either of them. It was sad but I agreed with him. I still stay in touch with her mom and am proud of the young lady she has become. They were great for each other in hs but really not as a forever couple.
He met his current gf the second week of college and 4 years later they are planning to get engaged this summer. We all feel they will be good for each other long term. So I think yes everyone is happy with the decisions that were made.
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Ten years ago, S started dating a classmate the summer before senior year in HS. She stayed in-state for college, while he went over 1,600 miles away. They talked about breaking up before he left, but decided to give it a chance and stayed together .
Her parents said if by their sophomore year in college, they were still together, they would pay for her to fly out to visit him for fall break.
They stayed together all four years. To complicate things, our family moved out of the area his junior year in college (over 1,200 miles away), so now they wouldnât be able to see each other during breaks at home. We did pay for him to go back to our home town over winter break so he could see her and other friends.
They ended up doing study abroad the same semester, and were only about 5 hours apart in Europe (they were both in the same foreign language class in HS) so they saw each other more frequently that semester!
Their plan was to move to the same city after they graduated. S planned to attend law school, so she moved to the city where his law school was located. They did not live together.
They eventually got engaged, then married.
I never would have predicted they would get married when it started out. But she is an absolutely amazing person, and Iâm so glad my S knew just how incredible she is!
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Fortunately, no. I stayed out of it and was hoping for that outcome.
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My niece was in the same situation as your daughter. Her boyfriendâs parents offered to have her come live with them. His parents got engaged junior year of college. His two older brothers got engaged right after college graduation. They were also very religious and from what I could see early marriage was expected in their family. Plus, my BIL and his wife thought the boyfriendâs parents were way too overprotective and involved. And they didnât like how they acted like my niece was their DIL from the day these two kids started datingâŠ
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Wow! Lots of break-ups. Only one of my 3 kids had a serious relationship before college. My son went to school out-of-state, but ended up transferring to GFâs in-state university second semester. They ended up breaking up later that semester, when my son met someone else in a campus club.
D started dating a nice guy at the end of her sophomore year of HS (he was a junior). They broke up briefly when she went to college in New York (he was in college in Florida) but got back together. They will celebrate 6 years of marriage later this month.
That said, I think this is unusual with their generation.
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DS2 started dating a girl senior year of HS after being really tight and in the same friend group for a year. They stayed together when ds when to college 1,000 miles away. I thought they should break up but pretty much kept my mouth shut. They stayed together their freshman year, and she flew out to see him that spring. He returned home that summer. By mid-October sophomore year, he was ready to break up. No issue other than he was tired of his gf being 1,000 miles away. They remain friends, including an annual trip with friends, and I think he would be happy if someday they found themselves back together.
D20 was dating her BF in HS but he was 2 years older so he was leaving for college (4 hours away) and she was a junior. He didnât think they could handle a long distance relationship but wanted to be friends because he still wanted to see her when he could. She was fine with it because she had SATs and school to focus on but she was sort of thinking she would hear from him when he was home for breaks. She didnât, for 2 yearsâŠuntil 2 weeks before she was set to leave for college herself. Then he wanted to get together and see if they could make things work. She never responded.
I think she had him on a pedestal, being that he was older and wiser. When she was getting to the points in time where he was when they were together, I think she realized her admiration was misplaced.
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D16 broke up with her HS boyfriend about one month into her freshman year. She started dating her now husband just a couple of months later.
D19 and her HS boyfriend of 2 yrs broke up right before heading off to college in different states that werenât geographically close. They enjoy seeing one another frequently as very good friends when theyâre home on breaks, but thereâs nothing romantic any more.
I started dating my now-husband freshman year of HS. We went to colleges 3.5 hours apart but somehow made it work, married after graduation and happily raised 3 kids. That being said, it definitely made fully engaging in our own schools difficult. I was hoping S1 would break up with his gf before starting college, but knew from personal experience that it isnât easy to do if you otherwise arenât having issues. They stayed together most of the first semester. It made him miserable. He wanted to visit her all the time, didnât fully engage, etc. She broke up with him the first day they were home for winter break! He returned second semester with a whole new outlook and enjoyed college so much more.
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My D20 had just one boyfriend in high school (as a sophomore, not very serious) and S22 hasnât had a romantic partner yet. I guess my kids are late bloomers?! Iâm glad they didnât have a messy high school breakup but I worry a little about experiencing their first real breakup being away from home. 
A few HS relationships do last. But most seem to not make it too far into college. I think thereâs some kind of term like âTurkey Dropâ or for breakups that happen Thanksgiving break of freshman year
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