<p>The nature of Greek life varies greatly from school to school and region to region. From what I understand the south, SEC especially, it is VERY traditional and stressful. Texas and Florida is as well. In California the process varies from school to school. My daughters’ school is very competitive. UCSanta Cruz, from what I understand, not so much. </p>
<p>I have stated this before but it does bear repeating: Greek life isn’t for everyone. What the girl thinks is her destiny may not jive with the sorority (for whatever reason). Generally, (except in schools with high numbers of girls going through and bed quotas) if you really want to be in a sorority you can. It may be the “lowest” tier house, but if you like the girls…why not? Again, my house, the “Jewish” house (which no longer exists at my school) was the lowest house. I had fun, made friends and continue friendships to this day. My youngest, who is in a top tier house, is having fun. So, as long as you’re open to all options, you will probably get placed.</p>
<p>When my friends’ daughters decide they want to rush, I try to help them collect two alum recs each for the houses in which they are seriously interested, because at some houses in some areas of the country it will take that to get beyond the first round party courtesy invites. I believe it is possible for current members to solicit the necessary recs for someone they are interested in during the rush process – if they are interested enough. I think all the above is true. I am going to check with someone who knows about these things</p>
<p>ALH…you are correct…I’m not sure that even 2 are enough at some schools :)… I will say that I sure wouldn’t want to chance it…My D will be attending school in the Big 12 and I am hoping to get three letters for every house.</p>
<p>SWTCAT: I have been assuming two alum recs and one active rec (from an acquaintance of the girl) for a total of three. Are you saying you are looking for three alum recs? Thanks!</p>
<p>alh, some of the houses do not accept recs from actives, even if they go to another school but some do…what I am hoping for is 3 alum recs, however, I know that this is going to be very difficult and alot of work. I have always been a type “A” personality that wants my D to be prepared…I will say this though…before I get flamed…D will be personally asking each letter writer herself for the recs…I will only steer her to them ;)</p>
<p>^^thanks. You are a great mom. When my friends’ daughters rush I want them have the absolute best chance possible for a happy outcome. Three alum recs it is from here on out.</p>
<p>Oh, good lord. Talk about a system designed to privilege the already-privilege and perpetuate the society status-quo. No wonder you guys are referencing disappointing your mamas and whose-daddy-makes-what and all the competition. That’s just insane. Up here, recs are nice but absolutely not mandatory at all (what would a chapter REALLY care what some alum thought? they’re the ones meeting the girl and having to live with her) and a girl isn’t penalized if she doesn’t come from a background where she’d know about this. </p>
<p>Why can’t you have a Greek system where you just … meet girls on campus and mutually decide if you like one another?</p>
<p>^^^^You know what Pizza Girl…I totally agree with you and I do wish that this were the case where we live…but it is not…so we have to play by the rules in order to be sucessful (whatever that means).</p>
<p>Hey, how about no Greek system at all, but an environment “where you just meet girls on campus and mutually decide if you like one another”? Now there’s a concept!</p>
<p>MommaJ, I get what you are saying and I think it would be great if life was that way for our girls: Show up in the Fall, meet all kinds of great girls who love us and we want to hang out with and room with, and everyone lived happily ever after. The reality is that most Freshman girls are intimidated and insecure and dying for a great group of new friends but not sure about how to make that happen. Yes, sorority membership is a little fake in that regard: it forces the issue and makes you instant friends and “sisters” with 100 girls on campus, but that is the beauty of it: It takes a lot of the pressure off and creates an atmosphere of sisterly support for girls who are alone in a new environment.</p>
<p>On campuses where the dorms/colleges/houses don’t do things like put on formals or plan retreats, I think there’s a lot to be said for social clubs that do the same thing. It’s great to have somebody in charge of planning a banquet for all the seniors, etc. To me, the ideal solution is to have small houses that include everyone, but that’s not how it is everywhere, and it makes a lot of sense to take advantage of what your campus offers instead.</p>
<p>I’m curious to know if this has changed…do sororities still serve alchohol at their parties? </p>
<p>I went to college in the early 80s and worked on campus at the student union. My boss asked me to put on a workshop about how campus organizations could reserve rooms for their club events. When I gave my workshop to a group of social chairs from all the sororities, they were not interested in using rooms on campus and had their own discussion about which private venues they could rent where guests would not have to show ID. </p>
<p>Since drinking age is 21 in CA, most of their members were under-age. </p>
<p>It sounded like the solution they came up with was to make sure every one had a fake ID or have all their parties in the sorority house.</p>
<p>I’m guessing that this has probably changed in the last few years. What do you think?</p>
<p>Regarding post #120. It talks about girls being nerdy but still being like girls and not boys. The poster emphasizes how girls should be concerned with fashion as well as other aspects of life. Why on earth should girls need to care about fashion? That is so superficial. There are plenty of us who won’t be “feminine” enough for her, thank goodness. I would rather be “as good as one of the guys” to quote my H’s opinion of me. Obviously people like me never cared about the Greek system. Being a woman isn’t all about being attractive to the opposite sex. Not being concerned with so many superficial “girl” things does not make a woman less of a woman. I would much rather be valued for the same things men are.</p>
<p>I would rather not be valued for the same things men are because I feel in so many ways I am so much better. When girls care about fashion they look good and they feel good. Women do not need to look like men to compete with them. We can have the looks and brain too. I always encourage my girls to be feminine, at the same time to go head to head with any boys in school or work.</p>
<p>I know I said I wasn’t going to post, but… it’s my observation that for a lot of young women, when they care about fashion they look good and feel bad. Unfortunately, the fashion ideal is so hard to achieve that beautiful young women feel they’re not good enough.</p>
<p>My mom and I argued about whether or not my style of dress was feminine enough FOR YEARS, because in high school I preferred to just wear jeans and t shirts because that was what I was comfortable in. I also chose not to wear make up, because it was a hassle and I didn’t like the way I looked in it. “But Jill! There are societal norms! You are just not measuring up!” Or, my favorite, “some girls are pretty enough to get away with not wearing make up, but dear…” </p>
<p>There is more to life than wearing the right shirt. And let’s face it, fashion to young girls is not just dressing appropriately, it’s following the right trends-- no matter how stupid or fleeting they may be. As long as you are dressed appropriately it should not be that big of a deal.</p>
<p>I actually totally disagree with Cardinal Fang’s post. My girls each has different figures - one is more full figured and another tall and skinny. They both know what looks good on them. When they leave the house their hair is well combed, light makeup, and appropriate style of clothing to fit their figures. They get complimented on how they look, and it’s not because they are wearing expensive fashion, it’s just they look put together. They know what look good on them and they are very confident of how they look. They do not try to achieve what’s out on the media, so they do not try to be something they are not.</p>
<p>I have been in a male dominated business all my life. I dress like their wifes at work - fashionable suits, handbags and shoes. They treat me with respect when it’s work related, but they also do not treat me like a man - screaming or use profanity in front of me.</p>
it will take that to get beyond the first round party courtesy invites. I believe it is possible for current members to solicit the necessary recs for someone they are interested in during the rush process – if they are interested enough. I think all the above is true. I am going to check with someone who knows about these things</p>