<p>My son was dismissed after just a few weeks in college. He was enjoying the social life so much but he was totally lazy, not following up with appointments and sleeping through class. He admitted that he was lazy and the college felt it was too hard at this point for him to catch up and he wasn't so motivated. He really wants to go back second semester and they said he can if he shows responsibility and a plan. He has ADHD but really he was lazy. I have to admit I helicopter him way to much and have to stop. And i give the college credit for catching it early. I told him he needs to get a job for now and show responsibility and maybe take one semester at a community college. But I can't have him sitting around doing nothing. Anyone been through this? He really loved the college he was attending and wants to go back but I want to make sure this doesn't happen again. He can be all talk and no action.</p>
<p>How could the college dismiss him when there are no final grades for the semester yet? Did they dimiss him because he did not show up for the appointments?</p>
<p>I think he needs at least one year break before going back.</p>
<p>I don’t believe this. They haven’t even had midterms yet. They may not have handed in their first paper! If you are really the kid, and afraid you are in hot water, immediately start going to class, doing the work, attending office hours, taking advantage of tutoring: do what you have to do. It is normal to have trouble adjusting to the freedom of college.</p>
<p>This doesn’t sound right…especially considering most colleges including the elite ones tend to be more lenient on first-year students. </p>
<p>Moreover, most Profs I’ve had/talked with complained about the fact they don’t have the power to unilaterally withdraw students who don’t show up within the first two-three weeks of a semester(add/drop period)…or even for the entire semester for that matter and didn’t bother to withdraw themselves.</p>
<p>I’ve never heard of a college just “dismissing” someone for “laziness” a few weeks into the semester. Perhaps there was some other reason? Or what?</p>
<p>If the student didn’t show up at ANY of his classes the first few weeks, it is likely the professors did notify someone. STILL the story doesn’t wash. Most students are not “dismissed” until their final grades have come in…and the earliest THAT would happen is before Thanksgiving…but more likely before the winter holiday in December.</p>
<p>Also, in my opinion, ADHD kids are not “lazy”. They have other organizational issues that impact their learning. </p>
<p>If the school really DID dismiss him, I would suggest looking for a school with excellent student support services for students with documented disabilities. Make it clear that the kid needs to avail himself of these services.</p>
<p>I would NOT send this kid back to the same school without a plan.</p>
<p>BUT really…the story doesn’t really sound believable to me.</p>
<p>Not credible to me either, unless the kiddo never went to a single class and ended up getting dropped from all classes at the dope/add period…even then it’s not a ‘dismissal.’</p>
<p>One school where I adjunct has a form for faculty to report any students on the roster who qualify as non-attendance. I just submitted mine. Maybe if a student has not shown up at any classes, the school thinks he has disappeared and drops them from the class.</p>
<p>Whoops drop not dope…what was I thinking???</p>
<p>Don’t feed the ■■■■■ : )</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback. I don’t want to mention the school but its rigorous. So heres what happened. He has ADHD, registered with the office of disabilities, agreed to see a counselor and work with a coach, he went to classes for about 2 weeks but did not hand in assignments, he didnt check email, and turned his phone off, he lied to the RA when asked if everything was alright, then the last week he basically slept all day. Now he is far behind and basically told the dean he was lazy and probably wouldn’t change that. I am besides myself. Now he realizes this was stupid of him, he totally dropped the ball. So they dismissed him more for emotional reasons and will let him back when he shows them he’s worked on that and we also agree (cuz its expensive) actually I’m glad this happened early cuz we get money back rather than waiting till he failed out which he was on a path to do. I’m not sure what happened, he was lazy then got overwelmed when the work poured on. So he shut down. As much as he wants to go back, I don’t know if he will change.</p>
<p>Just to add also he’s a smart smart kid who never had to work. I think his maturity is way off</p>
<p>Writing style and word choice seems to point to the OP being the student rather than the parent. In either case, I’m not sure what kind of advice is being sought. 
</p>
<p>If I were the parent I’d start by telling him he wasn’t going back this year. He might go back next if he can:</p>
<p>1) tell you exactly what happened. The story makes no sense, so there was something else going on.</p>
<p>2) enroll himself in the local cc and get good grades for the next semester. </p>
<p>3) get a job or do charity work to show he can handle more than school.</p>
<p>I’d also stop the helicoptering. At this point it’s his life. If he can’t motivate himself he might want to chose a career where someone else does the motivating. The military for instance.</p>
<p>I don’t think the boy is motivated enough to go to community college now. Bad grades in CC will give him less chance to go back to college. He should go back to college only when he strongly desires to do so. Right now he should work, volunteer, learn to grow up.</p>
<p>“i give the college credit for catching it early.”</p>
<p>This is a great attitude, and they really did save you a lot of money & stress. </p>
<p>However the story does seem a little strange, maybe he is lying to you about what really happened and there is another cause. </p>
<p>Regardless, he is clearly not ready for college, this one or a 4 year, and I don’t think he will be anytime soon. I wouldn’t pay for him to go to college until you believe you can trust him even if it takes 3+ years, which from the sound of your story, is probably going to be the minimum - although he’ll try to convince you otherwise. </p>
<p>I imagine if you let him go back now, he’ll do the bare minimum for the next 3 years, party/socialize like hell, but tell you he’s doing great. Sounds like you only found out about his troubles AFTER the school took action.</p>
<p>Some people just take longer to mature than others, which, in part, is why there are alot of students with needlesly atrocious grades in their freshman & sophomore years of college - which go on to limit these kids’ futures. </p>
<p>To have this large of a wake-up call in advance is fantastic - but only if you actually listen. There is no shame in waiting to go to college, and could very well be the best thing for his future.</p>
<p>Most students who do badly the first semester are put on academic probation and have another shot at redeeming themselves in the second semester. </p>
<p>My theory on OP’s strange story: he’s a sophomore, he was placed on academic probation last year, has been partying this fall, fell behind already, and now he’s facing expulsion come the end of the semester.
In a panic, OP wrote here pretending to be a parent, and looking for suggestions how to present the story to his parents. </p>
<p>Entertaining, at least.</p>
<p>^Right. My S2 failed four out of six classes (the other two were D’s) his first semester. He was put on Academic Probation and allowed to return for the spring semester to rectify his mistakes.</p>
<p>The only thing I can guess is that this student didn’t attend ANY classes and was deemed a “no show” by the college. Since he was therefore not a student, he was asked to vacate student housing. </p>
<p>Otherwise the story makes no sense…especially since the OP claim the student was working with the disabilities office at the school.</p>
<p>And again I say…clearly there are independent organizational issues if this story is even partially true. While this is likely related to the ADHD, the student, in my opinion, isn’t lazy. He has attention issues. </p>
<p>This student should not be returning to ANY college until there is a plan in place to address these needs.</p>
<p>Yes, I think Thumper has it as I alluded to earlier. Regardless the person characterized in the original post doesn’t belong in college right now and should take some time (not CC) and figure out what is important in the person’s life. Not all kids belong in college and just because one is “smart” doesn’t mean squat…you have to want to go to class and you have to want to study to succeed in college at age 18 or 19…doesn’t mean they don’t belong in college at 21, 23 or 24. As far as ADHD the person in the original post can blame whatever they want to blame…if it’s ADHD, they get some help…the ADHD isn’t going to magically disappear at some unknown point in the future, learn some coping strategies if college is something that is really desired.</p>