Do Gays Fit In?

<p>Hey, I'm considering going to Vanderbilt. It looks beautiful. I love Nashville. I also love southern culture. However, I hear that Vanderbilt has a culture of homophobia that is kept "under wraps," and that gay students are often "self-segregated" to McGill Hall. If I go here, I want to be a part of the Vanderbilt community and join Greek Life. I don't want to be seen as "different." And I don't want people to treat me coldly because I'm gay. Would Vanderbilt be a good or bad choice for me?</p>

<p>One of my friend’s sons loved his time at Vanderbilt. I don’t ever recall her saying he had any issues with his dating preferences at school in general. </p>

<p>Now greek life may have been a different story. He was one of the founding brothers of Delta Lambda Phi fraternity on campus in 2010/2011. I know in an article at out&about magazine, they said they founded it as many of the traditional frats were not very accepting of gays and bisexuals. </p>

<p>You don’t say if you are a guy or a gal, but Delta Lamba Phi is a great greek option.</p>

<p>Don’t know much about the gay culture on campus. I know the university had gay flags flying everywhere on campus for like a month in celebration of gay pride which I thought was very interesting of the university to come out and make a stand on such a controversial topic (or rather allow the LGBT club to post flags everywhere). I live in Towers and I noticed that they have this gay pride flag posted up in the window next to the entrance and I have mixed feelings about that, but I’m getting off topic. </p>

<p>I know there’s a LGBT club on campus if you need a support system and your going to run into people who are closed minded everywhere, so don’t let that stop you from coming to Vanderbilt.</p>

<p>Woah woah woah. Let’s back up.</p>

<p>Greek system is so homophobic a gay frat had to be founded.
The “There are closeminded people everywhere” excuse.</p>

<p>These are bad signs. Greek life is pretty prominent at Vandy.</p>

<p>It’s not really an excuse lol there are closeminded people everywhere.</p>

<p>Vandy3023, the fact that you have “mixed feelings” about a gay pride flag being flown near you is indicative of what I feared. Just because someone does not call you names to their face does not mean their homophobic. Obviously, you have some type of issue with homosexuals, and you do not want to be associated with that lifestyle. If it were Tufts or Wesleyan, no one would have felt that way. Only true homophobes have an issue with gay pride.</p>

<p>Corey - I am sad to say, you will find non-accepting people at Tufts and Wesleyan. Just because the school promotes acceptance of all, that doesn’t mean the student body will be that accepting. I truely wish the world would accept people for their actions and deeds and not by thier appearance, religion, heritage or who they love. I wish you the best and hope that you find a great group of friends at the college you choose. A solid group of friends will be your best support.</p>

<p>Hi coreyalexander2,</p>

<p>I am friends/acquaintances with 10+ LGBTQI individuals at Vandy. (Freshman year, it felt like they were everywhere I turned, almost as if I was magnetized or something… More likely, it was because most of my first friends at Vandy were music majors.) </p>

<p>From what I’ve observed, it seems the LGBTQI experience at Vanderbilt is highly variable. Illustrative of this is the contrast between two openly gay guys I know:</p>

<h1>1: Despite having a stable and diverse social group throughout his first semester – not to mention a great friends in his heterosexual roommate and other hallmates – he became increasingly misanthropic and reclusive by the second semester, and ultimately decided to drop out of Vandy.</h1>

<h1>2: This guy is more active and involved on campus than anyone I know and in more social spheres and student organizations than I can count. Freshman year, he was openly gay and widely liked and accepted by pretty much all the guys on his hall – plus many other classmates. After rushing first semester, his frat of choice was ready to give him a bid, but he decided not to pledge because the time commitment wouldn’t fit into his already full schedule.</h1>

<h1>1’s bad experience seems to be an anomaly, as all of my other LGBTQI friends seem happy here. I think the bottom line is, regardless of sexual orientation, your college experience at Vanderbilt will be what you make of it.</h1>

<p>Most gay/bi people I know actually shy away from the established LGBTQI groups on campus. I’m not sure why – perhaps, like you, they prefer a more holistic, less self-segregated Vanderbilt experience.</p>

<p>Anyway, my gay friends and I haven’t spoken in detail about it, but I know they don’t like the Delta Lambda Phi (gay frat) guys. I think it has something to do with a contrived, segregated gay culture and/or blatant sexual promiscuity, but that’s just my best guess.</p>

<p>Although I don’t know much about Lambda, the Vandy gay-straight alliance, I know two regular members, and they seem to like it a lot. </p>

<p>McGill certainly has a homo/hipster rep, but none of the LGBTQI people I know actually live there. Some of my girlfriends have told me they throw fun parties over at McGill, but I couldn’t say, as I’ve never been. </p>

<p>Hope this helps!</p>

<p>For more information, I encourage you to check out [The</a> Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex Life](<a href=“http://www.vanderbilt.edu/lgbtqi/]The”>The Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex Life | Vanderbilt University) and feel free to contact the [url=&lt;a href=“http://studentorgs.vanderbilt.edu/lambda/]Lambda[/url”&gt;http://studentorgs.vanderbilt.edu/lambda/]Lambda[/url</a>] exec board, as the perspective of a LGBTQI Vandy student would probably be more helpful.</p>

<p>Like Galaxyfigment said, unfortunately, you will find intolerance everywhere. What really matters are the people – the friends – with whom you choose to associate.</p>

<p>“I am sad to say, you will find non-accepting people at Tufts and Wesleyan.”</p>

<p>So very true.
But generally, though I’m not gay myself, I haven’t seen any sort of dislike for the gay community at Vandy. Like others have stated, you are going to find homophobes everywhere, but Vanderbilt has been far more accepting than I initially thought it was. You’ll find just about every type of person on campus, even if it’s only one. Yes, there’s the whole Greek life deal (I personally think it’s touted as being a bigger part of Vandy life than it really is, though it is big), and being in the South only ads to the outside bias about discrimination. That’s changed, especially considering a majority of the student body isn’t from the South. Also, if someone is discriminatory towards you, there will be plenty of people who will back you up and be there for support.</p>

<p>I second everything in the above comment by CesVar.</p>

<p>coreyalexander2, your right in that I don’t want to be associated with that lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand in the way of gay people living the way they want. My only issue is that it seems like over the past couple years gay pride has been everywhere and its sort of annoying how its being forced onto people all the time. The news is always talking about it, there’s always the stereotypical gay character in TV shows nowadays (Modern Family, Glee, Happy Endings, etc.), and now there’s a damn gay pride flag that I have to look at everyday before I go to my dorm and I’m sick of it all. </p>

<p>Also, If you think that a particular university will be free of all prejudices your in for a rude awakening. How long has it been since the civil rights movement when America was suppose to get over the race issue? Are there still racists in the US? (hopefully the answer is obvious). Granted there are some universities that will be more accepting and have a more vibrant gay culture, but there are going to be people who don’t accept gay people everywhere for a very long time.</p>

<p>Getting back to vanderbilt, I agree with what a lot of people have said thus far. A college experience is what you make it and if you let certain people bother you they will. If you decide to attend vanderbilt you’ll find some people who accept gays and others that don’t (just like everywhere else). I’d just focus on finding a core group of friends to have a good time with and ignore the people who have a problem with you.</p>

<p>When she was at Vandy, my D had friends who were not typical — gay, black, Muslim. None of her friends focused on their differences. Instead, they were friends because they had things in common. If you are a secure person, I think you will find happiness at Vandy.</p>

<p>@vandy3023</p>

<p>You think that gay pride is being forced upon you because there are a few gay characters in today’s media, and you happen to see a few flags? You gotta be kidding me. Straight culture is forced onto gay individuals far more than the other way around.</p>

<p>RyanMK, the idea of straight culture being forced onto gay individuals is ridiculous</p>

<p>Ridiculous? Are you serious?</p>

<p>A big portion of the story of my life since puberty — and I’m sure I’m not alone — has been “straight culture gets forced on gay individual”.</p>

<p>Look at the entire world history of homosexuality and then tell me that the idea of straight culture being forced onto gay individuals is ridiculous. Look at its classification as a mental illness to be cured, look at the laws in hundreds of nations where homosexuality was/is a crime to be punished. Look at the different ex-gay camps that exist around the world, the hundreds of homophobic tirades on youtube. Look at how the same top colleges this forum fawns over once deliberately combed over their faculty and students to find homosexuals to kick out.</p>

<p>And tell me that with a serious face.</p>

<p>Anaphora in action, very nice, but I still thinks it’s ridiculous to think that people acting in the way that has been the norm for centuries is now a burden for gay individuals. Just because gay individuals decide to live a certain way does not mean that the entire world has to accept it as right, and the constant media manipulation is annoying which is all I’m saying.</p>

<p>Surely you can’t be serious, can you? Take a quick look at any movie, book, or television show, and I’ll bet that it involves an opposite sex relationship. The norm is to assume that everyone you meet is straight. Opposite sex couples are attempting to prevent gay individuals from marrying who they love. If that’s not straight culture being forced on the gay community, then you have no grounds whatsoever to claim the opposite.</p>

<p>Also, have you considered that maybe it’s always been a burden, but now is the first time we can object to it without being killed (or something else bad happening to us)? Also, we don’t seek your approval, we just want you to get out of our lives and stop telling us what we can and can’t do.</p>

<p>RyanMk, re-read everything I’ve said in this post from the beginning. I do not object to gay individuals living how they want, just don’t shove it in my face and expect everybody to be alright with it because that’s not reality.</p>

<p>Like I’ve been saying, the gay community does not shove it in your faces, especially compared to the straight community. And it’s perfectly reasonable to expect everyone to be alright with what they do show.</p>

<p>Lol Ryan, the reason straight couples are presented as the norm is because that is the norm for a majority of the country. It’s an indisputable fact that more people are straight than gay. </p>

<p>I’m all for gay marriage, but I believe the gay rights movement has gotten out of hand in some respects. Not with forcing itself onto me though, but in its broad definitions of some things that are sacred to our society.</p>