<p>I don’t like the word “owe”. Our kids’ education is important enough to us that it has been part of our financial plan, going back to when we were still only hoping to have kids some day, before we even knew for sure that we would become parents. But if I “owe” somebody something, that is absolute, no matter how the recipient may waste the resource, no matter how my ability to pay may fluctuate up or down, and no matter how compelling the other uses for the money may be. I don’t see college funding quite that way. I feel that the general purpose of higher ed is to help the kid have a better adult life, and there are some unwise higher ed decisions that can actually undermine that goal. So it’s a partnership, where we as a family look realistically at how to help our kids get what they need, using the resources that are available, and mindful of the other things the family needs now and later. As part of the maturing process they have to accept that there are some limits and some standards, and some role for their own self-determination to play in the process. It isn’t just a blank check to attend a long party.</p>
<p>I didn’t feel I owed my kids a college education unconditionally. If they earned my support through their efforts in HS then I would do my best for them. However, even in college, I would not hesitate to pull the plug if I thought they weren’t trying.</p>
<p>I think parents do not owe their kids a college education. I do think parents should help anyway possible to make the attendance of college a reality. I think many parents still stand in the way of some of the kids getting through college. Sometimes you have make it work and that is not always fulltime at an university. Many kids are left with either I get to go to college now and fulltime or not at all. There are lots of in the middle and I have many adult friends and relatives with college degrees that took them years to earn. Nothing wrong with that but this option is often over looked imo.</p>
<p>I just want to note that feeling obligated to do something doesn’t necessarily mean that you “owe” it to the person for whom you will do it.</p>
<p>Does every parent owe a child a college education - the answer is probably not.</p>
<p>Do I owe my kids a college education? - yes - because it was understood that we expected them to go to college. We pushed them to do well in school and they stepped up to the plate. For us to tell them after that we weren’t going to make it possible would be an extreme betrayal. Does it mean a total free ride - no! They will have a reasonable loans and we will be broke but we are more than willing to sacrifice.</p>
<p>I do not think that parents owe their children a college education. It is not something that can be given, in any case. It’s something the individual has to work for and achieve. We support my D’s college education wholeheartedly, but if if she were flighty, immature, academically disinterested, and/or unfocused, no way would I be gearing up to pay for college. I would encourage her to find some other path to maturity that wouldn’t cost me thousands and thousands of hard-earned dollars.</p>
<p>I completely agree with Hunt, who says:</p>
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<p>I want to provide my kids with the values, mindset, tools and resources to be successful in their adult lives. College is a part of that. But, I don’t “owe” it. And, if a kid were not really serious about taking college seriously, I would hold back tuition until he/she were ready to take it seriously. </p>
<p>Not only that, for kids who do take it seriously, I am thrilled to pay for it (and feel fortunate that we are able to).</p>
<p>I think that one of the major problems is that most college students don’t realize that college is a privilege. I feel many students think college is something they have to do before they enter the workforce, too few do take learning seriously, and then they graduate expecting companies to hand them jobs. </p>
<p>I am going to support my children when they’re preparing for college and I’ll pay for it if they don’t get a scholarship - but there is going to be the looming expectation that once they’re out of college and succeeding in life they’re going to pay me back for their years of education, interest excluded. I think this holds them personally responsible for the decisions they make in college - they shouldn’t skip that boring lecture or hop around from major to major for 6 years, because it’s going to cost them. Work hard for what you want and appreciate the opportunities you’re given. </p>
<p>I graduated in 3 years and joined the workforce as quickly as I could - better then building up debt and not contributing to the economy, in my opinion.</p>
<p>I do not expect my D to pay us back in any way, except by taking full advantage of every learning opportunity; the payback expectation might distort her academic choices in a way I don’t want to see. I have, however, told her we will fund the equivalent of four years of full-time undergraduate study and that’s it. If she cannot graduate in four years because she changes her major, etc. then it will be on her to figure out how to finance the remainder of her bachelor’s.</p>
<p>I expect my kids to pay it forward, not back.</p>