I’m a sophomore in college and I want to have a girlfriend, but i don’t really know how to get a girlfriend and I also haven’t really heard of people dating here. I’ve just heard about hookups and stuff, so I’m wondering if dating is something girls in college aren’t really into. I’m also shy around hot girls and can’t really talk to them or anything. I’m not really attracted to the only girl I’m friends with. How do I get a gf here? Or girls do not want to date? I don’t want to hook up or have a friend with benefits.
Yes, people date.
I don’t know how you feel about online dating, but I just found this link of alternatives to tinder that are also free:
People do date in college. I would suggest one or both of: Join activities that you like; See if there is on-line dating local to your college. One big advantage of on-line dating is that you know you will meet someone else in a week or two or three, so that you can be more relaxed with the person that you are meeting now.
People look down on things like Tinder and Bumble, but honestly almost all of my college friends who are in relationships met using those apps. Just make your intentions clear from the beginning.
Meet people: in class, in your dorm, in a club, etc. However you manage to find someone you might want to go out with, go for coffee or tea or boba or something when each of you has a free hour or so (between classes, for instance). Puts a limit on the date in case it’s a non-starter (a defined start and end time), is super casual, and gives you something to do while you are making awkward small talk. You will know if it’s something you want to repeat.
@rbg2111111 IMO, college is one of the easiest places to meet new people. Once you meet someone or a group of people, then the friendship begins once you by eat and hang out together.
In another situation, you might find yourself at a party talking to a guy/girl. Now, will this turn into a hookup, a friendship, or a possible relationship? It all depends on both of your actions.
Even then, you can still meet people in your classes, at the dining hall, and (clubs, events, and activities) on campus. But, it all depends on your intentions with someone. So, I’d ask yourself these important questions:
- Do I want to talk to them? It all starts with having the confidence to talk to new people.
- (Is this person) or (are these people) "a good influence" for me? Once you "get to know them", will they keep you up or bring you down?
- For only one person: Should I just be friends for now and could they be interested in something more down the road with me?
- Do I really want to date someone in college or should I just enjoy myself and have "fun"?
Thinking about these questions might give you an insight of what you really want to do. Just think about the overall culture on campus and how everyone lives their life at college. It all comes down to personal preference. So, make a decision based on your own interests.
Ask someone in your class you like to study together. Work for both DH and I & DS1 and his GF.
People are different. Just because you’re interested in dating does that mean all the boys on campus are only interested in dating and none are interested in hookups? I think that’s statistically impossible. It’s the same for the girls. Just because some are interested in hookups it doesn’t mean they all are.
If you want an active social life you might start by redefining how you think of women. Instead of classifying them as “hot” or not, try to think of them as individuals with names and interests. If you pay attention, you can learn what some of those interests are. That will give you something to talk about.