<p>Many schools give a student space to specify any situations that should be taken into consideration when assigning a roommate. I know of kids who wanted and have "gender neutral " housing. If someone requested a gay roommate, I don’t know if it would be granted or taken into consideration.</p>
<p>If you were not looking for GLBT or gender neutral housing, I doubt you’d find it. It’s actually rather common among the top tier colleges and universities. Here’s one list of colleges that offer gender neutral housing:</p>
<p>Bennington College
Brown University
California Institute of Technology
Carnegie Mellon University
Clark University
Colorado College
Columbia University
Cornell University
Dartmouth College
Grinnell College
Hampshire College
Harvard University (only offered to students who identify as transgender)
Haverford College
Humboldt State University
Lawrence University
Lewis & Clark College
Oberlin College
Sarah Lawrence College
Stanford University
Swarthmore College
University of California-Riverside
University of Michigan
University of Pennsylvania
University of Southern Maine
Wesleyan University
Yale</p>
<p>We’ve found The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students to be incredibly helpful as it lists the housing options available. </p>
<p>I was more open to the idea of colleges and universities that were known for being gay-friendly before we started hearing of the terrible experiences some teens have had in the dorms. The final decision is not up to me, it’s up to my son and what he feels comfortable doing. At the present moment, he’s more inclined to go for housing with other honor college students as he hopes the atmosphere will be more calm and quiet.</p>
<p>"All your kid really needs is a single for freshman year.</p>
<p>Two places that have plenty of singles for freshman are Columbia and Cornell. "</p>
<p>Northwestern also has singles for freshmen (Foster-Walker dorm).</p>
<p>Here’s an example that shows what we look for. It’s from UMASS Amherst:</p>
<p>Location:
Northeast Area
One floor of 40 students
2 in 20 Contract </p>
<p>The 2 in 20 Program is a supportive residential community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender students and their allies. Residents are committed to working together to end homophobia and heterosexism.</p>
<p>Through its annual open house, the 2 in 20 Showcase, the program welcomes the entire University to learn about the LGBT and Ally community. Residents actively participate in organizing program activities such as potluck dinners, movie nights, coffeehouses, and educational workshops.</p>
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<p>My sister, who is gay, says that no lesbian would even consider having a party without at least one gay man at the helm.</p>
<p>I don’t really understand why a college kid would need to room with someone of the same sexual orientation. Possibly it would be considered close minded by some, ex: “I don’t trust those non gay people”</p>
<p>Missypie:</p>
<p>We also went with the guys bathroom and the girls. My wife is not exactly the neatest and I got tired of the toothpaste top being off, makeup everywhere etc. </p>
<p>My son and I have a neater bathroom than my wife / daughter…</p>
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<p>What I’m trying to say is that, if your son is worried about homophobic attacks, then he isn’t looking at the right schools. The fact that a school offers gender-neutral housing doesn’t mean bupkis. I see schools on that list that don’t strike me as universally welcoming and many more, not on the list, that are welcoming. And some on the list and not on the list that are very gay friendly and have not had a homophobic slur in years.</p>
<p>For example, you hold up UMass as some bastion of progressive gay rights. Good god. Not to single out UMass, but the fact that they have a theme floor in some obscure dorm hardly makes a bit of difference in the overall culture of the school. Look at the big picture.</p>
<p>There are plenty of schools where gay students live side by side with straight students, nobody cares, nobody is being attacked, and so forth. If he already feels like he might have problems, then he’s not looking at the right colleges and universities.</p>
<p>soccerguy315, I wouldn’t think it is that they need someone of the same sexual orientation so much as they want someone who is not offended by their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, there are still some people out there who have trouble handling this. My D, by the way, as a freshman this year has a roommate who is bisexual. No issues between them (at list regarding that particular point). D had no idea before the year started; heck, I don’t think the roommate even knew until partway through the year, so maybe a housing form checkbox wouldn’t have helped :)</p>
<p>Edited - double post (been having issues with posting all day…)</p>
<p>In college I lived in a co-op one year with co-ed bathrooms. My mom was appalled 
But I didn’t mind.</p>
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<p>How nice that where you live there is no homophobia or hate crimes directed towards homosexuals. I mean, what do you expect for a reaction to that statement?</p>
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<p>I cannot afford to fool myself into believing that there are any colleges in this country that are homophobia-free. To imply that avoiding being the victim of hate crime is as simple as picking the right campus is just not reality based.</p>
<p>As for UMASS, they rank highly on many lists of gay-friendly colleges and universities. We have friends who have attended and shared their experience. And what you dismiss as a theme floor in an obsure dorm is a chance for my child to feel safe where he lives. I have no idea why you would belittle what was such a struggle for glbt students to obtain.</p>
<p>I am so delighted this has turned into a thread about where a gay student will be most comfortable! And I agree that both campus culture AND a safe living space are important. And that you absolutely can’t take the safe living space for granted. The unfortunate thing imho is that so many of the most gay friendly colleges are also extremely competitive and there sort of have to be gay friendly reach/match/safeties when you are concerned for your child. Not to say that there aren’t lots of super competitive schools that seem to me to support an extremely homophobic campus culture. jmho</p>
<p>Reed has co-ed dorms & bathrooms and D roomed senior year in a Reed owned townhouse with a male friend.
( also had a single freshman year without requesting it)</p>
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<p>The reality is that there are many colleges that are extremely gay-friendly, where sexual orientation is simply not an issue.</p>
<p>I will be more that happy to give you a contact for the gay president of my daughter’s senior class and let your son ask him first hand.</p>
<p>I’m actually sorry to hear that you and your son are so pessimistic about the college experience. I think he is missing out on the excitement of what should be a very positive experience, picking among the many gay-friendly schools.</p>
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<p>I belittle it because I think it’s ridiculous to even consider a school where gay students can’t feel comfortable in ANY dorm on campus and feel that they need a small, isolated enclave. That’s not the kind of school I would consider if I were gay.</p>
<p>Pug, I have to agree, for the most part, with IDad here. (Something I don’t find myself doing very often!) I really believe that in the vast majority of major universities and liberal arts colleges, and, I think, in all the ones that are considered gay-friendly, the chances of your son’s experiencing homophobia from the other kids in his dorm – or, if he did experience it, the chances that the reaction would be anything other than zero tolerance – are really quite small. For example, the University of Chicago isn’t even on the list of the top 100 LGBT-friendly schools that I saw when my son was looking at colleges. Yet, it’s about as gay friendly as a place could possibly be, and homophobia is simply not part of the student culture there. It wouldn’t be tolerated for a moment. And there are so many other schools like it.</p>
<p>I’m sure that “gender-neutral” housing would be quite safe for your son. But not so materially safer than the dorms in general at “LGBT-friendly” schools. And, in general, that kind of housing was really conceived for the specific benefit of transgender or “genderqueer” students (an entirely different kettle of fish, for the most part, from gay and lesbian students), as well as for students who don’t care whether their roommate is of the same or different gender. In other words, as places where men and women can room with each other. </p>
<p>I do not believe that such housing was conceived for the benefit of gay and lesbian students, or that it’s generally thought of as a place for gay and lesbian students to segregate themselves from the rest of the student population. That’s why I said I never heard of specifically “gay housing.” Because that’s not what “gender-neutral” housing is. Frankly, you could theoretically have homophobic kids in gender neutral housing, too. Who’s to say that everyone in such housing is LGBT?</p>
<p>The LGBT “theme” housing that you mentioned at U. Mass is something quite different from gender-neutral housing in general, I think.</p>
<p>In any event, I truly believe that excluding from consideration all schools that don’t have “gender neutral housing” would foreclose a whole lot of great, safe opportunities for your son. I"m as protective of my son as anyone could possibly be of their child, and limiting things that way never occurred to me, or to him.</p>
<p>If your son has any potential interest in the U. of Chicago, I’m sure mine would be happy to talk to him!</p>
<p>A new wrinkle appearing is the choice of gay/lesbian (male/female) roommates for those who want to insure (?) a platonic relationship. Does anyone have a list of these schools?</p>
<p>of course there are not any schools that are 100% free of harrassment of an ethnic/religious/sexual nature.</p>
<p>However- the school should state that they are welcoming and that there are structures in place to insure safety and disciplinary measures when they occur.</p>
<p>My daughter, came out as a junior while she was attending her private prep school. ( *not *an alternative school) She is not a confrontational type- she wouldn’t have done so, if she didn’ t feel safe.</p>
<p>She also did not even want to look at women’s colleges to my surprise- but she found a school in an urban community that is so gay friendly- they currently have an out mayor.
However- this does not mean it is utopia- urban schools are still in urban environments.</p>
<p>College is a different world than high school- while many more students come out during high school, than they did when I was in high school, many more are still not comfortable with the idea.</p>
<p>But contrast that with college- where the atmosphere lends itself to " free to be you and me", and students are eager to be the people that perhaps their high school friends weren’t comfortable seeing.</p>
<p>At many schools, I imagine it would be redundant to have a gay themed dorm.
( like when I asked my younger daughter- during spirit week in high school- why her school didn’t have a pajama day- she said " * every day* is pajama day,at Garfield" 
)</p>
<p>My D’s school does have a women’s floor- but I also imagine that if you have dangly bits but identify as a woman, there wouldn’t be a problem with living on the womens floor.
From campuses I have seen the G* L * B* is common place and T* is more common with both students and faculty than you would think.</p>
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<p>Likewise, my daughter’s college is incredibly gay-friendly. I would recommend it in a heartbeat to any gay or lesbian student, parent, faculty, etc. However, to consider it as being gay-friendly because it happens to offer gender-neutral housing would be silly. That isn’t even on the radar screen of things that make the campus culture welcoming to gay students.</p>
<p>DonnaL, I am so glad that your son is having a great experience but I know one kid who recently left U of Chicago due to the homophobia he was having to deal with with his classmates in his major. I asked around and found another parent whose kid had the same experience (same major.) Since it is one of the majors my kid is look at, we took U of Chicago off the list. </p>
<p>I don’t mean to come off as prickly about this but I suppose I am. I’ve gotten a lot of input from gay/lesbian friends, I already mentioned the advocate guide and some of the statements here that people are making in an effort to “educate” me on the issue are just way off base. </p>
<p>This b.s. about how “pessimistic” I’m being and what a shame it is to be depriving my son of so many fabulous schools is so irritating that I cannot put it into words. We live in south Texas, my son is not looking for even more personal growth in the area of dealing with this topic. He wants to blend in and his parents want to sleep at night. We are just as excited and optimistic as any other parent here. I resent the scolding tone. </p>
<p>I mean, the idea that gender-neutral housing is “not even on the radar of things that make a campus welcoming” is absurd. It’s flatly absurd. As is the idea that I’m so damn dumb that all I need to see is “gender neutral housing” and I’ll happily ship my kid off to that school.</p>
<p>emeraldkity, Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad your daughter has had such a positive experience. She sounds like a strong young woman.</p>